Here and Back, The Daily life of Princess Dee Dee

A New Start

2010-11-26T02:54:00.000+08:00

Dear all... like there are so many readers...

Am making a new start.. so here's my new blog link:

callmeprincessdee2

Here's to a new start... SEE YA!!!

This could be the end...

2010-11-26T00:57:00.002+08:00

I was contemplating on whether I should continue with this blog or start with a new one. A fresh one, for a fresh, new beginning. Maybe I would.. If I do start a new one, I'll still keep this one and will give a link to my new blog.

Anyways... on another note, I pity the young ones... (shows I'm old already). As in those in their early 20's or late teens.. just after SPM.. they have no idea what's ahead of them... the real world that is. Well, there in for some surprise... Just hope they do well and don't let us older generations down. Our future depends on us, but our children's future depends on them. So one way or another, we have to learn to be more open minded and smart and most of all, strong willed and cooperative of one another.

Well.. see you soon, in my new blog I hope.

How to Improve Your Life

2010-10-09T01:02:00.002+08:00

The philosophy of Prof. Randy Pausch who died of pancreatic cancer in 2008.

This is amazing, he died of pancreatic cancer in 2008, but wrote a book ‘The last lecture” before then, one of the bestsellers in 2007. What a legacy to leave behind…
In a letter to his wife Jai and his children, Dylan, Logan, and Chloe, he wrote this beautiful "guide to a better life" for his wife and children to follow.
May you be blessed by his insight.

POINTS ON HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE

Personality:
1. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2. Don't have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment
3. Don't over do; keep your limits
4. Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does
5. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip
6. Dream more while you are awake
7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
8. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
10. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present
11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you
12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13. Smile and laugh more
14. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Community:
15. Call your family often
16. Each day give something good to others
17. Forgive everyone for everything
18. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6
19. Try to make at least three people smile each day
20. What other people think of you is none of your business
21. Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
22. Put GOD first in anything and everything that you think, say and do.
23. GOD heals everything
24. Do the right things
25. However good or bad a situation is, it will change
26. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
27. The best is yet to come
28. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
29. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
30. If you know GOD you will always be happy. So, be happy.

While you practice all of the above, share this knowledge with the people you love, people you school with,
people you play with, people you work with and people you live with.
Not only will it enrich YOUR life, but also that of those around you.

Busy...

2010-09-05T00:15:00.001+08:00

I have been super duper busy... I haven't had time to blog. Will try to do so soon. So much to say, so little time. Sheesh~

Memory... Gone

2010-07-26T00:25:00.002+08:00

I'm selling off my old handphone to my friend... so this few days, I've been transferring all the pictures and videos into my Lappy... all but the messages.. somehow I'm not able to transfer all the messages in my inbox into my Lappy...

So i did the unthinkable.. I deleted ALL the messages in my inbox, including those from my previous messages when I was still with Mr. H... looks like the memory would either have to remain in my mind.. or just deleted as fast as my phone deleted it.

Well.. time to move on.. which I've done already for the past couple of weeks. Let's toast for a new start shall we? " For a great new start ahead!!" *clinks glass*

The past could now be the future

2010-07-22T00:42:00.002+08:00

Refer 2 posts below on my turning of 27 years and one month young, point number "5".

Now that my ex has propose, I'm contemplating on whether I should go back to him. We've been friends for almost 7 years now, and everytime one of us break up wit another person, after our own break up, we always end up being there for each other, comforting each other.

The lists goes on and on on our similarity and chemistry... and it made me think on whether he is THE one after all... he says I am his.. I dunno. Well... There's still time for me to think about it... we've given each other until next year to think things out properly.. plus I'm seeing and testing whether he can be THE ONE.

Let's see how it goes within a year, eh?

Till then.. toodles.

Over it

2010-07-22T00:41:00.001+08:00

I am completely over you, and can now except you as just a friend, and not more...

Happy!!!

Crazy Beautiful

2010-07-15T21:36:00.003+08:00

Just now on Oprah, she interviewed Jessica Simpson on the recent kiss n tell made by her ex, John Mayer (wat a Jerk!)... and how she was critisized about her weight.

Jessica Simpson is also doing a show.. called.. err.. xingat. hahaha~ (I was sleepy laaa). It's about how she n 2 of her friends, went around the world and found out how important beauty is for woman from different countries and how far they'll go through pain and $$$ for beauty. She interviewed an aneroxia model who went into a coma because she didn't ate due to the fact that her modelling agency required her to loose 10kg. Kesian tgk that lady... she looked pretty but scary at the same time... all skin n bones left. And then there were countries in which ladies drank cow urine to cleanse their body.. eeeuuuwwww... seriously.. what are they thinking???

Macam-macam la cara nk maintain beauty and to be beautiful.. billions n billions of dollars spent on cosmetics, operations, etc2... all because of the pressure of becoming beautiful.

Oprah and Jessica mentioned that, it's whats inside that counts.. the inner beauty which then reflects your outer beauty... that is Beautiful. If you think u're beautiful, and have a beautiful heart, even if u have only one eye... you're still beautiful, unique and most importantly, you're you.

Never let anyone say you're any lower, too fat or too skinny, too ugly or of those alike. It's you and what you think that counts. No other person's words matter.. not even your loved one. Once you feel confident, feel beautiful and believe you're beautiful.. it will reflect onto yourselves.

I'm proud to have what I have.. my looks.. everything. Ok.. I do need to slim down a bit, but it's more to becoming healthier and be easier to find clothes in petite Malaysia whom don't sell a lot of plus size stuff. Sheesh~ I aim being fit n healthy... not skinny.

On another similar note. Beautiful but shallow and ignorant people won't win in the end. Being beautiful on the inside, however, wins you more than anything.

27 years old and One Month

2010-07-11T21:02:00.002+08:00

Today I am 27 years and 1 month young. Hehe~

Through out the past one month, I went thru so many things.. It shows how much things can happen within a month.. and how things can change within an instant, and how we should appreciate each and every minute and hour and day, etc. This is what happened for the past month of turning 27:

Went to a best friend's wedding
Had my Birthday celebration in 4 different restaurants by 4 different groups of people. ( I have such a wonderful family and friends!)
Broke Up with my boyfriend of 6 months..
Sulked and went thru an emotional breakdown for a week.
Got a marriage proposal by my ex.
Had a fever, cold and cough.
Registered for Scuba Diving classes.
Registered for my final semester of MBA.
Made of a about 5 new friends.
Went to a funeral of my former classmate/ friend.
Had food poisoning.
Went to Salsa for the 1st time.
Help deliver 5 kittens.
Found out my best friend is pregnant.
Met the Queen, 2 times.
Attended a private fashion show in one of Malaysia's richest man's residence.

Sheesh... that's approximately one event for every 2 days!! Huhu.. Well, as long as it keeps me sane and more experienced in life thus a better person.. I'm prepared to take on the world! Ngee~

Of Curtsies and Table Manners.

2010-06-28T23:16:00.002+08:00

These recent years.. ever since I came back from New Zealand, Mom has been bringing me to functions here n there... with the idea of exposing me to people for good networking as well as potential mother in laws.. (yikes!) or simply introducing us to the extended members of the royal family.

I think it runs in the family.. because Mom n her sisters went thru the same thing when they were young... though only my aunt had an arranged marriaged, while mom n her younger sister wed to people whom they fell in love with.

The functions, that mom recently brought me to, consists of those that have the royal families as special guests. Requiring upmost good manners, flare and etiquette. Since mom still keeps her Royal traditions, she's been training me to speak the royal language and how to sembah the King and Queen and so forth.

The thing is, I wasn't thought these things since I was young. So it's a bit weird at first.

I remember one particular day, my mom babbling to me n my cousins of not using the 'Palace Language' amongst us. We answered by saying that, if the moms wanted us to use those language, they should have thought us since we were young. Using 'Patik' tu address ourselves, 'santap' - eat, 'beradu'-rest/sleep, etc. etc... now that most of us cousins are of 15 and over.. it's hard for us to learn something new. Though we've tried to in a few gatherings that had our great aunts n uncles.

Nevertheless, we're proud that, even though we are no longer the reigning family to the throne, that we managed to keep some of the Royal traditions in hand, when needed... Hopefully wel'll manage to teach our children some of the tata tertib and manners of the Royal family, so that it can be brought down to generations. May the heritage line of Sultan Abdullah remain strong in our bloods. InsyaAllah.

Take One... Action!

2010-06-26T02:43:00.003+08:00

The part he's acting in is out today.. eh, wait.. was yesterday.
Okla.. the acting. Garang! Huhu.. But it made me miss him more.

Tadi pergi The Curve, got hot chocolate from Starbucjs, passed the seat that the both of us sat at when we first met each other six months ago. Missed him more.

Even found videos of him strumming on the guitar with his friends, and playing on the keyboard on an old Sudirman song. Well, he told me about it a few days ago.. I didn't even knew it was there, until he asked me whether I added him on Youtube.. I was like.. "I didn't even know you had any videos's on youtube!" Except for the one's of the trailers..Sheesh~ so since he mentioned it, I decided to check it out. There it was.. in full view.. October 2006~Video's of him playing musical instruments. It made me shiver.. it made me miss him more.

All these things this week... why?? Why must these things come up when I miss him the most???

I miss his hug. I miss his hands... I miss everything about him. I'm not that sad anymore about the whole thing. I just miss him really badly.

These missing him thing has got to go away.. wait.. I don't want that. I do.. I don't... I don't know. Sigh~

Us...

2010-06-24T21:33:00.004+08:00

There was never anything wrong with us...

The problems we had were normal couple problems...

Those complicating stuff could've been avoided, could've be solved.

We had our normal misunderstandings and couple quarrels..

But on top of all that, we were there, caring for each other.

It was a relatioship that could work out if we wanted to..

A relationship that could be mended if we wanted to...

But now, here I am wondering, why we mutually agreed to go our separate ways...

When all I needed was you...

I don't know if you need me too...
But I'm deeply missing you, needing you here with me, in my arms, by my side.

It's been a week, and it's not any easier. Everything, everywhere, reminds me of you.

I miss you Mr. H. I love you.

"Time For Miracles"

2010-06-23T17:18:00.001+08:00

It's late at night and I can't sleep
Missing you just runs too deep
Oh I can't breathe thinking of your smile
Every kiss I can't forget
This aching heart ain't broken yet
Oh God I wish I could make you see
Cause I know this flame isn't dying
So nothing can stop me from trying

Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cause I ain't giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cause I ain't giving up on love
No I ain't giving up on us

I just want to be with you
Cuz living is so hard to do
When all I know is trapped inside your eyes
The future I cannot forget
This aching heart ain't broken yet
Oh God I wish I could make you see
Cuz I know this flame isn't dying
So nothing can stop me from trying

Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cause I ain't giving up on love
No I ain't giving up on us
Baby can you feel it (can you)
You know I can hear it (hear it in my soul)
So can you feel it feel it….
You know it's time….

Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on love
You know
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on love
No I ain't giving up on us
I ain't giving up no
Oh I ain't giving up on us

This is for you...

Signs...

2010-06-23T00:31:00.004+08:00

Ignoring the signs.. though sometimes I wonder whether those signs mean something or anything. Do they?

Not hoping.. just positive thoughts off my wellbeing.

I miss you. :(

The E.N.D.

2010-06-20T18:12:00.002+08:00

The End, meaning the end of a relationship.

The E.N.D (Energy Never Dies, according to Black Eyed Peas) meaning, that the respect and energy as friends, will never die.

Me n Incik have broken up. As much as it hurts, I know things will be alright in the end. I've been sulking for 2 days at home.. not wanting to get out of bed and out of my room. It's good that my parents understand it and just brings me down for lunch and dinner, and let me go back to my room.

Am I hurt? of course I am. But I knew that it this thing would've happen, with the turmoil we were having the past few months, which is why it wasn't a surprise to me when that dreadful day came. Though it deeply saddens me that we couldn't work things out anymore, and it deeply saddens me that I won't be able to love him or feel his love the same way again. But it is also good to know, that we've decided to still remain friends.

He has been the best boyfriend so far... and I appreciate all the time we've spent together, and I am grateful to been given the opportunity to meet him, be loved by him and so forth. It was a wonderful experience that I won't forget. I will still love him, even as a friend, even as a normal person.

It will take some time for me to properly heal.. but I know I'll get to that point soon, and be a better person from this experience.

On another note, to my friends.. I know some of you want to put all the blame of this break-up on him. But don't. For my sake, don't. When I agreed to let him go and go our separate ways, I also let go on all the anger I had... It was not his fault, and it wasn't mine. It was just not meant to be at this time. When I hear my friends saying bad things.. it doesn't make me feel better or stronger.. it just makes me feel worse. So out of respect for me, there is no need for my friends to diss him. What has passed, has passed, and I need to move on.

What the future holds for me, I have no idea. I'll make notes, I'll dream and I'll believe, but the rest, lays in the hand of God. I may find someone better, I may end up with Incik again, or one of my exes.. who knows. But whatever lies in the future for me, I'd greatly accept it with open arms.

Silence

2010-06-17T00:52:00.001+08:00

The silence is kinda good... the distance is good too... maybe it will do us good. Let our minds get clearer n stuff. I don't feel an obligation at all...

Well..., as they sometimes say, being apart makes us stronger. So maybe this will too~

I still love you though... Always have, always will be. =)

Ponder...

2010-06-13T23:37:00.003+08:00

Not giving excuses to protect my love one.
People always get the idea that when I say things.. I make excuses for my love ones to treat me badly. It's not that. And I'm not settling for whatever there is... that's plain silly.

Of course I want better things from my partner. But I'm not pushing. I realise I don't like being pushed, so I won't want to push another person at that.
I just don't want to bother on the things that could make me feel down.
I prefer to look at the bright things in life and stop complaining and think positive.
If God has written that we are meant together, together will be, if we're not meant to be together.. together we won't be.

I'm turning a new leaf now and looking at the positive things and shoving all negative vibes aside. I'm looking at what made us where we are today and how we started to fall for each other in the 1st place. No, I am not in denial. I do not deny that there are things that made me unhappy. But If I continue sulking and complaining and pushing my other half to be better, those negative things won't just go away. So it's better to turn things around and react positively... InsyaAllah, the response from the other half would be much better. It has actually... there's a lot of improvement, ever since I started the whole positive manifestation thingy. And I believe that it will be alright in the end. Just need to hold on and be a bit more patient.

If it doesn't work out in the end, it won't be the end of the world for me. There are other things to explore, and I'm not afraid of being let down again.

This is how I feel... though I thank everyone for their comments. It does help me think. =)

Turning 27

2010-06-12T00:36:00.001+08:00

It's past midnight already. I'm officially 27 years young! Haha... 27 is just a number. According to my friend, it's not just another year.. it's a year better. I believe that.

Lots more things to explore, more to improve.. more people to meet, more experiences to go through. I hope.. no..I believe that this turning of 27 will give me one of the best experiences in life. I believe things will be much better for me this year around.

Oh, I just I love myself! Happy Birthday to me!!!

2nd Semester

2010-06-10T20:29:00.002+08:00

Results are out. I got thru. GPA of 3.47. Shy of 0.03 points of 3.50. Nevertheless, I'm happy with my results. Just wondering why I'm not grinning ear to ear. Maybe because I waited for 8 hours to actually get my results, coz the uitm student portal crashed n hanged. And that means I'm super exhausted.

Well.. a good B'day gift to myself. Things seem to look good for my turning 27. Loving it!!! Alhamdulillah.

I carry your heart with me

2010-06-09T00:17:00.002+08:00

I carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)
I am never without it(anywhere
I go you go,my dear;

And whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
I fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Edward Estlin Cummings

Ketchup

2010-06-07T17:54:00.002+08:00

Last night I went out for a dinner with Incik. We went to a fast food joint. Since he didn't want to bring me to a mamak shop to eat roti canai. "Malam2 jgn mkn roti canai" katenye. (huwaaarrghhh).

Anyway, I got the food, while he got a table and the sauces. Then when I sat down, he passed me some tomato ketchup. "Here's your ketchup, since I know u don't eat Chilli sauce". I was speechless. He remembered? He actually remembers that I don't take chilli sauce? I mean what.. We've only gone on a dinner date to a fast food outlet like twice, not including here.. and he remembered? I was soo touched. I managed to say "You ingattttt???" And he replied "Yelaa.. ingatlaa" Then I gave the widest grin.

OK.. So remembering that I don't like chilli sauce may not be a big deal for you lots, but to me.. it is. It means that he has been paying attention to what I like and don't. Especially when it comes to food, since I'm a bit picky on it. Some people who've know me for years still can't remember that I don't take chilli sauce and brings me a whole bunch of packets which I shove to the side. Haihhhh.. *melts*

Sayang kamu Incik. Walaupun pasai sos tomato. Hehe.

In a weeks time.

2010-06-07T01:19:00.002+08:00

In a weeks time, well in 5 days to be exact, I turn 27. It's over the quarter century age.. and closer to 30. Sheesh.

I often wonder what I've done for the past 27 years in my life, that I'm proud off and regretted off. A lot.

Wouldn't want to bore you people out with the list of things I did in the past. It would take days to finish. But I can say that I'm proud to have done what I've done, and those things that I regretted doing, I don't regret them anymore, because that's what made me a better person, the one I am today and a wiser person at that.

Though I must say 2010 is a good year for me. In love, in health, in family n friends... and experience. And I hope, the next years to come will be good for me, even better I believe.

I realized that throwing away negative thoughts and thinking positive and looking at the brighter side of life has made it better. I just learned to grasp this a few weeks back and it has helped me a lot in so many ways. I've learnt that the more we complain, the more unwanted things come our way. If we look at our problems from a different angle and remind ourselves that we are lucky things couldn't get any worse, helps too.

Positive energy makes us stronger and more confident in life and we shouldn't be afraid of what life has got for us. We should put our heads up high n believe in ourselves that we can go through anything and achieve our dreams. When we look down at people and look at their bad side, we're actually reflecting ourselves, and in turn, that doesn't make us a better person than that person. So that, I am trying not to say anything bad about anyone anymore, because we don't know who they really are inside, and everyone behave's and reacts in a certain way for a reason and that's the same for us.

Another thing I learnt was to be filled with gratitude to those around us. People and things... I try to wake up each morning to Thank God for everything I have, and for everything I will have in the future, may it turn me into a better person.

I've recently started to recite The Quran again, even though I'm struggling quite a bit after a long time of leaving it, I still feel a sense of calmness when I read the sentences with the help of the Ustaz. I've also managed to take my 1st helicopter flight a few days back, and in 10 days time, InsyaAllah will take my 1st scuba diving lessons. To some people, these things are nothing.. something typical. But to me, it's an accomplishment that I am proud of.

In 7 months time, I'll get thru my MBA and start working again, and in between, there are many other dreams I am aiming to achieve, before moving on to 28. Let's see how that goes. For now, I'll enjoy beeing 26+ for the next 5 days, and then, have the best 27 years of age I could.

Travel Blog Australia: Part 6

2010-06-06T23:43:00.002+08:00

1st June:

Today, I woke up thinking.. OMG! I'm getting on a helicopter soon! Walked to Sea World Resort after breakfast, butterflies fluttering like mad in my tummy. Met dad there, who went earlier because he 'wanted to see the dolphins'. (cute). Then we went to book my 1st flight in a helicopter. Time of flight was 1.25 and the that time it was 11am. Lamenye nk tunggguuuu... so me n dad jln2 in SeaWorld, watched the dolphin show, again. (We're over fascinated with this mammals la..) and then had lunch of seafood basket (again), watched some pirate stunt show, n walked our way to the helipad. I was having the heebie jeebies like it was nobody's business. Haha..

Skali nampak la assistant pilot. Handsomenye!!! Tros hilang nerves. muehehe. Then I went to watch the safety briefing video, before being led to the waiting area near the helipad. Come 10 minutes, the helicopter came. The assistant, owh sooo handsome, lead us to the helicopter and assist us into our seat. I was over exitedly waving towards my dad like a 5 year old kid. Then with the headphones on, the doors closed, up I went. Owh.. I took the helicopter trip with 3 other people. Don't know who they are, but naik jela kan.

The helicopter trip was fun. Not like how I imagine it would feel like. It was a smooth flight, despite the rain, wind n fog that was surrounding Gold Coast at that time. The view of Gold Coast was magnificent! I almost cried. hahaha.. Owh, did I tell u, that there's a Piazza Versace Resort near our hotel. From the outside pun dh nampak cantik, and when I viewed it from the helicopter. Woah.. mouth dropped opened! The pool itself was stunning. Huhu. It was just a 15 min flight, but it was an awesome experience before I turn 27. OMG! Must I remind myself that? huhu..

Anyway, after the ride, me n dad took the shuttle to the biggest shopping plaza in Gold Coast, called Pacific Fair. I rase boleh sesat kot dlm tu. It's like an outdoor n indoor mall, in which the outdoor mall is like street shops n what not, n the indoor shops are like normal shops we have here. Nice la jugak. So many shops, I couldn't choose which one I wanted to go into 1st. So in the end, I chose to go into those I was familiar with. And got many2 things. Hahaha... Met mom n my grandparents, who also shopped like mad. (Mom la.. not my grandparents) Then we took the shuttle back to Surfer's Paradise to grab dinner.

That's pretty much what happened today. Till 2moro. Owh.. besok nk gi Harbour Town Factory Outlet plak. OMG. Shopping lagiiii!!!!

2nd June:

Nothing much today. Just spent most of the day shopping at Harbour Town Factory Outlet. Of course.. went crazy shopping. Hahaha.. got a lot of stuff, clothes, handbags, etc. By the time I got back to the hotel I was tired. Then went out again to get dinner in Surfer's Paradise. Balik Hotel. ate dinner, just finished packing. 2moro to Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary, before we take a bus to Brisbane for our flight back to KL.

3rd June:

Today me n dad went to Currumbin Wildlife Sactuary, where supposdely, next to Australia Zoo, is worth to go too, to see Australian animals. Took the early shuttle there.. 1st impression "keciknyer entrance tpt ni.. betui ke 27 hectares? Hurmmm.." Went in, n saw one of the zookeepers feeding milk to Larakeets (small, colourful parrot look-a-like birds). Banyak giler larakeets! I got excited and went to the are to take some pictures, when the zookeeper offered a plate of milk to me to give the birds. I pun dgn confidentnyer gi amik. Suddenly, about 20 birds came flying up to me.. on my hands, n shoulders. Tajam kot kuku derang! Sakit woo.. I tried my very best not to shout, as not to scare the birds. But then it came where they sat on my head. Owh the claws.. scratching on my forehead n hair. I couldn't take it anymore n passed the plate back to the zookeeper. And of course, my hand n forehead bercalar2. Nasib x luke. huhu..

Then in we went to take the train to go to the main attractions. Alamak.. almost all the animals were still sleeping. Of course, it was near winter, cold n windy.. most animals prefered to sleep in. While us humans were making noise to wake the animals up. Huhu. Then I caught sight of the Koala's. Wahh.. gembiranya hati!! Comeyl n gebu.. I feel like squeezing them. Haha..

The place was pretty boring, except for the shows, koala's n kangaroos. Got to feed n pat the kangaroos. Even got a hug from one of 'em. (Aaaawwwwww) n got to hug a Koala as well (Double Aaawwww..) Owhh., and I got to see a Wombat 1st hand. The Wombat I talked about in my recent post. OMG.. 50kg's n all. Besar, gebu, cuddly.. but apparently garang animal.

Later on, me n dad headed back to the hotel, did our final packing n headed to Brisbane International Airport. Our flight got delayed for 2 hours. Technical problems with MAS Airlines. Slept most of the time in the plane.

4th June:

Glad to be home. Slept for 4 hours after we reached home sweet home. My room never looked as pretty. I slept like a log. Ngee~

Aussie was fun. Was refreshing and helped me a lot in keeping things positive and looking at the brighter side of life. I think.. NO.. I mean I know, that I'm a better person now.. In a weeks time, I'll be turning 27, and I know I'm prepared to face anything. Positive thinking and gratitude towards everything and everyone around me. That helps make me a better n wiser person.

Travel Blog Australia: Part 5

2010-05-31T16:53:00.003+08:00

30th May:

Today we went to Seaworld, which is just a monorail's ride away. Since the Seaworld Resort is just right beside it. The seaworld is not that big. But well planned. Watched the sea lion and dolphin shows, as well as pirate shows. The rest are normal la... sting rays, sharks, penguins, we went at around 10.30am, and finished by 3.30pm. Well actually, my parents n grandparents went to the city 1st, while I stayed back. So i went around Seaworld alone.

This is what happens when you're the only child and you don't have any cousins or friends to follow you on these kinda trips. U gotta learn to be independent. Luckily I'm used to it already.

After Seaworld, I went to meet up with the parents n grandparents in Surfer's Paradise. Shopped and window shopped around there. Itupun byk kedai dh nk tutup. So I didn't get to cover all the shops. No fret, Wednesday, we will be going to Pacific Fair. The biggest shopping mall in Gold Coast. For dinner, we had Indian food, 2 doors away from the Malaysian restaurant we went to the night before. Huh... soooo much better ok! Tp seriously muak la makan Indian food and seafood. Rase cam xlarat nk face any more curry's or fish n chips. haihh.. what to do.. nk isi perut nyer pasal. Nk makan salad, takmo plak. ngahaha..

Now dh balik hotel n kepenatan. All i can see now is the bed. huhu.. nites!!! Tomorrow: Movie World Baybeh!!!

31st May

Harini gi Movie World... about 30 min from our hotel. Okkk.. xdela besar sangat. Ingatkan like same besar ngan Universal Studios LA or Disneyland LA gak. rupenye half the size. Same besar ngan Sunway Lagoon kot. But yeah, oncei enter there.. I'm no longer a 26 year old. I suddenly become a 10 year old... getting excited over almost everything I see. Hahaha!!!

Sampai2 je, tros gi tengok Shrek 4D Adventure. It's just like a movie, about 15 min long, in which we have to wear those 3D glasses, and then there are special effects, like when Donkey Sneezes, we can feel water spray all over us. Nasib baik la i biase. Imagine if it was really mucus... eeeuuuww.. Owh2.. before that, I got to takea picture with Batman. Lepas kluar je Shrek, amik gambar ngan Shrek plak. Siap peluk2 die like it's Incik. Thank God Incik is not huge n green... but yeah, he's still huggable. Ngee~

Then jalan2, took the Scooby Doo ghost ride, which is a roller coaster crossed with a haunted house. Okla gak. And since again.. no one accompanied me on the rides (my parents n grandparents sat at this cafe around the main plaza), I went alone. But there was this family of a mom and two kids, and she noticed I was alone. So she asked me to join her n her daughters, since the roller coaster car could fit 4 people. guess what? I screamed, and the kid beside me kept quiet. hey hey.. I menjerit bukan pasal takut ok.. but sbb sronok. I kept making sure the kid was alright. Mane la tau, kot2 die senyap tu.. die pengsan ke. hahaha...

Then I took the Batman Motion ride, this time dad went along. Okkk... he kept on yawning and shifting in his seat. He was tired, sleepy and bored. But agak bosan gakla that ride. I wanted to ride Superman escape, this roller coaster which has an almost 90 degrees vertical drop, but I still didn't have the guts too, everytime I hear someone scream at the top of their lungs. huhu.. Beside Superman Escape is Batman Spaceshot, which is like Solero shot in Genting, but taller. Mmg tak la kan nk naik bende tu. Behind it, Lethal weapon roller coaster. I guess I skipped all the extreme rides. not because i didn't want to.. but It's no fun riding on it alone. If i had a friend with me, I'd be sure to take all those rides. huhu..

Well.... hopefully I get to come here again, with friends.. if not here, then maybe in Disney World/Universal Studios, Florida. My next aim for a trip. Wonder when... hmm.. Then I'd have more fun to get on the rides and what nots.

Nevertheless, I had a great time shopping. I now have a superman shirt, batman shirt, wonder woman shirt, a large drinking tube, keychains, magnets.. picturess.. wahhh.. giler sronok la shopping kan! haha.. Owh, I also got pictures with Daffy duck and Sylvester the cat, as well as err... Bugs Bunny nyer gf, ape ntah name die.. and Martian Man.

Ooohh... the official photographer for the characters, took my pictures with Batman before, and later with Daffy duck, and he said... "Owh, you again... you take a good picture.. you have a beautiful smile!" How I wish he was about 10 years younger and with hair... dh lame aku ngorat balik. Ngee~

Then tengok Car stunt show, which was really awesome!!! The cars were screeching right n left, we could smell burnt rubber, and many other stunts la... There was even an explosion.. which was really close to me and the rest of the spectators. So terasa la heat die.

Then finally was the parade. Again, relatively small compared to Disneyland's parade. Sheesh... nk comparekan ngan Disney.. of course la kalah kan? Disney is soooo much more fun!

Excited punye pasal, I didn't even have lunch. I only had popcorn n lotsa Coke. No wonderla hyper memanjang td. But now I'm freaking hungry and tired. Waiting for dad to go buy us some dinner at Surfer's Paradise. Asked him to buy us Thai food instead. Maybe seafood fried rice ke or something. At least better than Indian food or fish n chips. Huhu..

Okla.. today's the last day I subsribe to the hotel's internet. So the next posts will be when I come back. Or if I can get internet access kat the hotel's public internet room, I'd use that. but kat situ net lembab jer. huhu..

Until next time... G'day Mate!!!

Travel Blog Ausralia: Part 4

2010-05-30T23:41:00.002+08:00

29th May

Finally arrived Gold Coast today. Staying at Sea World Resort. Yes, thats right, it's right beside Sea World. And the best thing is, we get unlimited excess to both Sea World and Movie World up till the day we check-out. Ngee~

The hotel is quite old la from the outside, but since the rooms have recently been refurbished, it looks better in the inside. Haha.. Owh, and u know what? Gold Coast reminds me a lot of Florida! The houses, the beach, the roads.. mmg mcm kat sanela. I thought I was imagining things, but mom n dad said the same thing too.

After we checked in, at about 4pm, we had a very late lunch and then took a shuttle towards Surfer's Paradise to see what the place has to offer.

Surfer's Paradise is a stretch of hotels, shops, bars, restaurants and all sorts. There's even a Hard Rock Cafe. Cantikla tempat ni. Byk giler kedai to shop at. But since it was already 5.45pm by the time we got there, most shops were getting ready to close. (Yeah.. it's almost the same like New Zealand, shops closes at 6pm on normal days) Only big brands closed at 9pm. So me n my parents just walked along the streetsand survey kedai2 yg nampak best to shop. (my grandparents stayed back in the hotel. Tak larat katenye.. kesian kadang)

Then we went to pack dinner atthis Malaysian restaurant called Maharani. The owner is Singaporean ke ape ntah, but married or lived in Malaysia. From the pictures around the restaurant, apparently, Malaysian artists like Siti Nurhaliza, Zahid n Farah AF, Anuar Zain, Aznil Hj. Nawawi and TV3 Personalities have eaten here. Well, it is halal.. and it is Malaysian... so no doubt about it la. But honestly speaking, the food isn't that nice. I've tasted Chinese cooking Malaysian food which tastes much better. we ordered Nasi Lemak, Nasi Goreng Kampung, White rice, Sambal Tumis Ikan and tahu with sambal pecal. The only thing nice was the fried chicken wing that came together with the nasi goreng. huhu.. Apedaa.. patut melayu masak, lg sedap la.. I wonder if they need a chef? I could work there! With a price! Gaahhh!

Dad has gone to sleep, mommy too. It's almost 11pm here. I'd better get some sleep too. Tomorrow - Sea World!!! Yeaayy!! I sooo wanna kiss the dolphins pleaseee....

P/s: Have been thinking positive thoughts about me n him and pushing away all negative thoughts since now. It feels good!!!

Travel Blog Australia: Part 3

2010-05-30T23:14:00.005+08:00

28th May:

Today I woke up late. Probably because of last night's exhaustion. Didn't have breakfast, just straight to the shower for the trip for today.

my famil and I took the Hop-On Hop-Off bus around Sydney CBD. Errr.. Bus die buruk ye.. walaupun double decker bus. Bus lame, kerusi lebam and so forth. Next time if you people want to come to Sydney for a trip, take Sydney Explorer instead. It's AUD$5 extra than the double decker bus, but it's much nicer n covers a lot more places, though it's only a normal bus la. But nak tour punye pasal, bantai jela naik. hehe.. We didn't hop off the bus intol almost 1 1/2 rounds. Saje je nk tengok the city. The buildings, the architecture, especially the old ones, kinda reminds me of US, becausesome of the houses looks like New Orleans houses with carved woods and flowered grills. Cantik la jugak.

And I noticed that some buildings are highly influenced by Roman architecture. The statues, the NSW State Libray and others all have those Pantheon, high beamed pillars look-a-likes. Owh, and dekat sini ade Hyde Park ye. Not as big and as beautiful as the one in London, but it's still pretty nevertheless. right infront of the park is the Australian Museum, which I didn't go too, and also the Sydney Grammar School. I think it's an all boys school, because the kids that came out from the school, were all.. yeah.. boys. haha... between the age of 12-18 I guess. So nengok la calon2 anak ikan. comeyl2 gitu. hahhaha.. OMG!! Trok tul!

Later on kami gi QVB (Queen Victoria Building). It's a shopping plaza yg cantik. Kinda reminds me of Old Bank Arcade in Wellington, but this one is much bigger. Most of the shops here are of designer shops.. so xde shopping mane pun. just looked around. But there was this 'Laksa House' at the Lower Ground, yg kami budget, are owned by Malaysian Chinese. The chicken was halal, so okla. we had lunch there. The Laksa was delicious!! Mom had that, and i tasted some. But I had white rice, chicken kapitan and kacang panjang and tauhu tumis. Sedap woo.. hahaha..

After that, my grandparents and my dad went back to the hotel, and me n mom continued our shopping trip along George Street. One of the best shopping streets in Sydney, where you can practically find everything! Including 2 departmental stores, famous in Aussie: David Jones and Myers. Then, as we got tired, me n mom headed back to Harbourside shopping centre, by monorail, since mom didn't go there the 1st time around. (Ladies and shopping go hand in hand I tell ya!) we later met with dad, had dinner at the food court, me n dad had fish n chips while mom had Indian food... again.

Alyaa came again to spend the night with us at the hotel before we head to Gold Coast in the morning. Me, her n mom chatted till 2am in the morning. Time to sleep now. Nitey Nite.

Travel Blog Australia: Part 2

2010-05-30T22:29:00.002+08:00

27th May

Today feltgood. I'm beginning to regain my strength and think more positively. Loving myself is better than ever. Started the day, waking up at 6.45am in the morning. Mommy couldn't sleep, so she cooked breakfast and woke everyone up early. Oh, by the way, Alyaa, my cousin who's currently studying in New South Wales University here in Sydney, came to join us smalam. Slept here for a night. Had a few talks. Was pretty tired but really happy to see her. Haven't seen her for a year n a half since she hasn't came back to M'sia ever since she started studying here. Everyone gave her a big fat hug. I had to control back tears. Me and my emotional, sensitive side... sheesh!

Ok.. sambung cerita. After breakfast, I sempat tido again for another hour before hitting the showers. Haha.. ngantok sgt weih!.

Our Sydney trip started with Paddy Market, somewhere near China Street. Dekat sini is where you find good bargain souvenirs. And i tell u.. they really are good bargains. The place is like a cross between Pasar Seni & a warehouse. There are all kinds of souvenir stalls, clothes, accesories, fruit and vegetable stalls. on the upper floors are factory outlet stores as well as foodcourts.

Ok.. talking about reasonable... it freaking is! Don't try converting it into ringgit, or u'll probably try to attempt comitting suicide over Sydney Harbour Bridge. hahaha.. I spent $60 for souvy's and got 2 bagfulls of keychains, magnets, clip ons, car signs and what nots. Pretty good aye?? (Kiwi slang dtg balik woo kat sini.. hahahhaa!!)

We had lunch in Paddy market. I ate Chicken kebab and this probably is the 1sy time I couldn't finish the whole thing. It's all gotta do with my loya tekak thing-a-ma-jig.

Later on we went to Circular Quay. Where we could see the harbour bridge as well as Sydney Opera House. Alyaa pronounces it like 'Skilikee'... she said all her friends pronounce Circulary Quay that way. hahaha... a 10 minute brisk walk takes you to Sydney Opera House. Cantikla kan.. but it didn't had me gasping for air, like how Eiffel Tower had on me during my trip to Paris last year. That time around, I had to choke back on tears just at the sight of it. huhu.. I didn't go in the Opera House, so I just took pictures here and there and around the harbour.

We then took a ferry back to Darling Harbour, where our hotel is. Went back, took nature's calling, rested my feet for about 30 min and was out the door with dad to Harbour Side Shopping centre. it's a 2 storey shopping mall, like the size of Ampang Park, nestled nicely beside Darling Harbour. The view of Sydney CBD (central business district) and the harbour is breathtaking. Lights here n there and the reflection on the water.. ahh.. so nice! The shopping centre had a few of my favourite shops which I loved back in Welly including - Diva, Valley Girl and Cotton On. There were also a couple of souvenir shops, but the price of the souvenirs were double to that of those in Paddy Market and their the same thing!

After say... a few bangles, a blouse or two and leggings, I headed back to the hotel which is about 5 mins walk from the shopping centre. Had dinner and here i am now writing in this travel diary which will be turned into a blog once I get internet access (oh wait.. here I am now, typing back what I wrote. haha.. :P)

My feet's tired and I'm tired. Guess it's time for me to stop writing now. Till then.

Travel Blog Australia: Part 1

2010-05-30T19:36:00.005+08:00

Ok... so here it goes. i'm gonna do a travel blog. since internet access is scarce here, or rather, i don't really have the time to go online, n because it's kinda costly, I would be blogging tonite, and most probably when I come back. And because they charge based on MB's used. i don't think i'll be able upload any pictures until i come back. So bear with me. huhu...

24th May:

Half way thru packing. Had dinner and a movie with Incik. Snuggling up to him is one of the best moments with him. I really hope things will be better for us once I come back. I appreciate our time together. Miss him already.

25th May:

99% finished with packing. My hearts not feeling so good. Please go away pain. I don't need this now. I wanna have fun in Australia! I don't wanna sulk, I wanna be happy!!

*Fire alarm bunyi td. almost all the guest went outside the room. False alarm*

26th May:

5.50a.m. - all set, bags are packed. Just waiting for the taxi to come and send us of to the airport. Still not feeling that good. Couldn't sleep.

2.30p.m. - Woke up about an hour ago, to the view of the clouds. Pure bliss. Kept reminding myself that things will be alright.

Slept for 3 hours. This is the 1st time I took a flight without watching a movie. Tried watching Tooth Fairy but slept after 20 min. Makcik sebelah ni - agak tua... nenek kot. Kesian rase kalau nk mintak excuse from her nk kluar from the toilet (I'm seating by the window) Tp td dh xtahan.. so mintak jela kan. Stretched my legs, gi tempat my parents duduk (our seats are spread all over. I'm in row 22, my parentsin row 30and my grandparents in row 26) Tgh dok borak2 dgn my parents, skali br prasan yg the nenek sbelah my seat ni dok berdiri tunggu I. maka kelam kabut la gi toilet and pergi duduk balik. Huhu. Bontot saya dh mula lenguh. Ada plak org yg baik hati, gi kentut. Either seat depan I or seat blakang i. Ya Rabbi... bau die!!! Dahla i mmg sedia loya tekak. Now lagi la..

Talking about loya tekak, I've been like this for the past 2 weeks. Asal makan je, rase nk muntah balik, cepat loya. NO, I am NOT pregnant. Jgn nk mcm2 eh. Haha~ I dunno la.. my friend says, maybe it's because of all the problems I'm facing now, plus I'm also having sleeping problems. Keep dreaming about weird stuffs, dreaming about him and all sorts, and waking up in the middle of the night. Maybe I'm thinking too much about the problems. I really need to loosen up. IT CAN BE DONE.

Oh... before I boarded the plane this morning, I tried calling him. To my luck, he picked up the phone. Though he was still sleeping. Well, yeah.. he was, but he terjaga at my phone call, which is seldom, because he's a heavy sleeper. So, I told him that I was already getting on the plane, said I loved him, he didn't hear it the 1st time, so I said it again and he replied I love you too back. That's good news, aye?

I'm thinking of taking things easy between us this time around. I do my thing, he does his, more freely, but ath then end of the line, there's still a knot tying us together. Hopefully this way, theyre'll be less miscommunications and disagreements and pushing around. It's like we're single but not single and not in an open relationship, because we're still together. We'll see how it goes along the way. Have 9 days to think about this thoroughly.

Listening to Paramore's 'Brand New Eye' album on the in-flight entertainment service. Getting stuck on this song: 'The Only Exception' and 'Brick by Boring Brick'.

Am 2 hours away from Sydney. Estimated time of arrival is 6.40pm local time, 4.40pm M'sian time. I'm 5000km's away from home. Hey, maybe I should take another flight back to Wellington. It's just another 3 hours away. haha.. I miss Welly!!! And I keep singing the Star Spangled Banner - US's National Anthem. Shows where I really wanna be. Ngee~

10.00p.m. - Finally arrived Sydney. In the apartment now. Cantik jugakla. i mean, good enough to sleep and rest. It's a duplex apartment, opposite Darling Harbour, called Oaks Goldsbrough Apartments. Had Indian food for dinner. Bought it at this Indian restaurant, behind our apartment. Okla the food, sekadar mengalas perut. huhu. I'm sleepy... very2 sleepy. Will be dozing of soon. Night one and day one down. Looking forward for day 2 tomorrow. Think positive thoughts. Think happy thoughts.

When you love someone.

2010-05-25T23:29:00.005+08:00

For Incik.

It was mid December 2009. I was bored to death. Was laying around in the tv room in front of my lappy. My YM status stated "I'm bored". Then suddenly a YM window popped out. It was a guy, whom I noticed was in my list ever since I was in New Zealand, but never chatted too. Or I did, but I couldn't remember chatting with him. He said "Let's Yamchaa" So much of a first intro.. haha.. then like normal, we introduced each other... what we did, our interests, etc. etc. It was 2 days before I left for Jakarta. So there wasn't much to share.

I came back 5 days later, was checking my e-mails and suddenly saw him online. I clicked on his name and said "I'm back" and we chatted for hours about my trip and about his days.. It was like this for the next few days. On a particular Monday, I had to go to the hospital.. for my physiotherapy on my lower spine. He offered to accompany me at the hospital (and we only knew each other for 2 weeks by then). I said I was ok.. and didn't want him to get bored waiting for my 1 hour therapy session. Though I told him that I was going to the Curve later on, to book Red Box for my friend's bridal party. He said he wanted to meet me. I agreed.

I was in my pink Bebe pants, and black t-shirt.. muke xbermake-up and all, muke org sakit.. with the therapy and all. He was in his Hansen collared shirt and stained jeans. we promised to meet each other in Starbucks, but we bumped into each other a few shops before. I was nervous and trembling. (I was still feeling the chill from the hospital that time). We shook hands, n walked to Starbucks. Both of us ordered Java Chip frappucino. His treat.

We talked n talked.. for about 2 hours, until I told him, I had to go back. I went home, had dinner, turned on my lappy.. n there he was, online again. So we continued chatting till the wee of morning. We had a 2nd date on the 2nd of January. Right after my friends bridal party. We watched Cirque Du Freak:Vampire's Assistant. Was kinda weird at first watching a movie with him. But it was ok later. I remembered this one time, there was this kinda eerie part of the movie. I closed my eyes, and he took his hand and closed my eyes with it. Yeah, and he also pulled me towards him n gave a soft peck on my head. Then he hugged me. I know it was the wrong thing to do at that time, because it was just a 2nd date. But it felt SO right.

It was then I heard his heart beat. the soft thumping of his heart, made me fall for him instantly. I remembered shivering when I listen to that sound. It was one of the most beautiful sound that time. I wondered why. It's not like I've never heard other people's heart beat before. But his, calmed me beyond all means. It was on our 3rd date that he first kissed me. Damn.. was it good or what??? Hahaha... Words coould not express how I felt when he laid his lips on mine, while holding my chin. It was soft, warm... it was perfect.

Then came the day he expressed his feelings. It was a simple.. "I sayang you" in which I replied.. sayang yg mcm mane? (doink aku ni) Sayang as a friend? as a sister? or sayang-sayang? He said... "Sayang-sayang". That was one part of it. There was also the part, when we were together. Hugs n all... when out of no where, he pulled me close to him and said "I love you.. jangan tinggalkan I.. jgn cari org lain. I love you" I was stunned by all means... and I quietly answered back.. "I love you too" And I do.. I really do. I love him.

Many of my friends have said that they've never seen me happier and I do feel the same way too. All I do is blush like a little girl everytime I think of him.

The rest, as people say.. is history.. A history to be kept nicely in our hearts. It's been 6

months ever since.

I know people might say that 6 months is too short of a time to fall madly in love with someone. But to me. It isn't. Though we did have our ups n downs, our arguments of sorts. We're still on the rocks now as I type this. I don't know what's gonna happen for our future together. But I do know this, now... I love him.

Some people have critiqued on our relationship, because of our differences in age and education and what nots... but that hasn't stop us in building this relationship.

There's this book, The Secret.. most of you have heard about this book, right? Well.. it says to appreciate your partner, and look at the bright things in life and why your fell in love with that person in the first place. Write down a list of the things you appreciate about him. I did that... It's a long list.. and it's still going on. There are those on how I love how he steals kisses in the movies, or how he pulls me to give a hug in crowded places... how he makes funny faces to make me laugh, to the messages he gives me that makes me feel wanted.

All I can say is that I've never loved a person as much as I love him. Ok.. with the exception of my family n friends.. But as a partner, I love him. I would love him until the day the world ends if I could. I love him so much I'd want to spend the rest of my years with him. I'd take care of him and he'll take care of me. But I'm not sure if he feels the same. I don't mind what he feels. But this is how I feel. Even if we end up not getting married, or breaking up next week, I'll still love him. My feelings are that strong towards him, and I am not ashamed to say it.

Things are not going great between us now, and it hurts like hell. It's as if Freddy Kreuger just torned my heart into pieces. One day we give each other the world, the next day, we're not talking to each other at all. It's been like this for the past month. And honestly, I don't know what's going to happen. We're trying to mend the pieces and save this relationship. I hope all goes well. If it doesn't.. I'll still love him, but from a distance. I know I'll be strong... but in the mean time, I'm hurting like hell. I love him too much to let him go.. but sometimes I can't stand the pain it's causing me. I don't know. I can't think straight... All I know is that I just love him so much. Maybe too much. I don't know.

What I can say now to him is: Pick me, choose me, love me. And I will love you endlessly.

I love you.

IT

2010-05-25T20:14:00.005+08:00

Masalah betul banyak sgt applications and social networking sites. And I pun bermasalah sbb semue pun nak buat.

So here it goes... my Formspring page:

http://www.formspring.me/DeeDeeZahari

and my twitter page:

http://twitter.com/Master_YoDee

go on.. follow me.. ask me silly questions. I am a slave to IT. Jeeezzzeee...

Love me...

2010-05-25T19:01:00.000+08:00

Me, me... me. Love me.

Best Shots: Part 3

2010-05-25T16:10:00.004+08:00

M&M's Candy store.. 3 floors filled with m&m's stuff. U name it, mugs, shirts, lingerie, boxers, jackets, accesorize.. all in m&m's form. U can go crazy in here I tell u!!! New York, 2008

Time Square. I love New York. I could live here if given the opp. 2008

The m&m's store again. Look at all those candy!!! 2008

It was Tasnim's degree project to take potraiture pictures. She snapped pictures of all of her sister's friends.. including me. So I decided to use my skills to take her picture in return. Love this one! April 2010.

That's me and Syaz's finger. This brown butterfly fluttered his way onto Syaz's shoulders, and when I picked it up.. it stood still, n we got this shot. Mcm sepasang kekasih pun ade kan?? haha.. June, 2008.

Here's Tasnim and Jane.. siblings!!! Jane's my MBA classmate. April 2010.

My sunglasses and the beach of Redang. March 2010

And my hat and Redang Beach. March 2010.

Upin was playing like mad with the newspapers. He finally sucumbed in between the sheets. 2009

One of my favourite shots. Roses. March 2010.

This chick hurt his leg... so we took care of him personally for 2 days. He's a bit grown up now, and healthy nevertheless. Early 2010.

Was bored at home.. so went around the garden to take some photos. See the ant finding his food?? Early 2010.

Zig Zag

2010-05-25T00:42:00.002+08:00

It's a bumpy thing.. this relationship thingy. One day u're mad, the next day u're crying your hearts out.. n the following day.. u're smiling ear to ear.

Trying to see the positive things that made us where we are now.

Went to have dinner with Incik. Watched Nightmare on Elm St.. snuggled the whole time. Brought back all the good memories and most importantly, the sound of his heartbeat that made me fall for him in the first place.

However.. trying not to get too much into things, since we're still on a loose wire.

will be missing him though, when I go to Aussie. 9 days!! Sheesh. Hope this distance will do us good for the time being.

Peace Out.

Because I'm a Girl.

2010-05-23T15:33:00.002+08:00

Bencinya translation lyrics ni!!! Tp suke.. I mean.. this is what I'm feeling now.

I just cant understand the hearts of men
They tell you they want you and then they leave you
This is the first time, you're special
I believed those words and I was so happy

You should have told me you didn't like me any more
But I couldn't see that and you just rushed me
Although I will curse you I'll still miss you
Because I am a girl, to whom love is everything

I heard that if you give up things too easily
To a man, he will get bored with you
I don't think this is wrong
A girl says that she will never be fooled again
But she will fall in love again

You should have told me you didn't like me any more
But I couldn't see that and you just rushed me
Although I will curse you I'll still miss you
Because I am a girl, to whom love is everything

[narration]
Hey babe
The pain
It's not enough to describe how i feel
We were so happy together
But I know now
I've been blind
You told me that you'd never let me down
Whenever I needed you you'd always be here
I can forgive but I cant forget
Even though you hurt me
I still love you
I still love you
Don't take advantage of a girl's willingness to do anything for love
And her caring instinct
U didn't know that to be born as a girl and to be loved was so hard
Although i will curse you i'll still miss you
Because I am a girl, to whom love is everything
Although i will curse you i'll still miss you
Because I am a girl, to whom love is everything

Huwaaaarrrggghhh!!! :(( :(( :((

Thinking of You

2010-05-23T01:33:00.000+08:00

It's hard for me.. don't make it harder. Not from you.. not from anyone else.

Heaven~

2010-05-21T22:32:00.001+08:00

Wish someone would sing me this song... wish it was him. :(

Social Networking... The good, the bad... my personal point of view.

2010-05-19T23:07:00.001+08:00

This was my MIS assignment. Had to write an article. Anything related to Information system. Mine panjang gile!!! Have fun reading... :P

Yes, that’s it there... the whole title could probably explain it well... the effects social networking has on us.

I have to admit, I am a social networking addict... should probably call myself a ‘social-networking-aholic’ and signed myself up for a SNA Anonymous group (imagine that...me in the middle of a group of people: Hi, my name is Nadeeya and I’m a social-networking-aholic. :P). I have been using social networking sites ever since my Diploma years, which comes to about 6 years of social networking experience. From Friendster to BlogSpot to Fotopages to MySpace and now on to the most talked about Facebook. A couple of days ago, I got myself into Twitter... so I’ll be tweeting soon, like a bunch of chirpy happy birds! I spend up to 7 hours a day on days where I feel like staying at home. I sometimes check my sites through my phone and even when I travel on a holiday. It is THAT extreme, though I am lucky to be able to balance the real world and the virtual world. But what about others and what affect it has on them? Let us look through experiences of myself and people around me and how we should handle social networking sites to our own advantage.

As we know, there are lot of consequences of social networking to us, either on a positive or negative impact. It could give us our 15 minutes of fame one day and it could even give us the worst case scenario that could destroy us within a minute. It is all in the eye (or mind) of the beholder and how we manage ourselves in using these social networking sites.

I found both ends to the impact of social networking. On the positive side, it is a great way to catch up with my friends and families... sometimes re-connecting with friends from primary school or kindergarten to some extent. (Even to childhood sweethearts, as my friend recently discovered... not good when you’re married by that time and the ex comes out from nowhere) My mom recently got in touch with family members she lost contact with for years and they decided to make a special page to reconnect with the whole ‘Kuala Kangsar’ family clan from generations to generations, even pulling me into the picture, which is good because in some ways we finally get to learn our family background and get to know who’s who and what not.

Planning events have not been easier with the applications social networking sites have. We could invite people to weddings, birthdays, alumni events, almost anything! And there’s buttons for us to click on which lets us RSVP on the events, which makes the task of the event planning much easier than before, since before the invention of these sites, we’d have to go through snail mail which takes days to send, and weeks to get replies back to. And the great thing is that it’s free! You do not need to spend 30-60 cents per invitation card like you used to. Though some people still like to go traditional, especially in important occasions such as weddings, since it involves a lot of err... elder people.

And talk about being so occupied with work and studies that you don’t have the time to catch up with friends and family. By having a social networking site, we could get an update on our loved ones (or enemies) at the click of a mouse. At least we know what’s happening to those around us, at the comfort of our office or home without even needing to call each and everyone for updates.

HOWEVER (I just had to emphasize on this. Ngee~) there are consequences to social networking as we know it.

A recent article by http://amandaa87.wordpress.com mentioned that social networking is not bad at all, because the reality now, is that people are becoming much more smarter in handling their own page (or their own cyber life, in other words). People are becoming more aware of the predators lurking around the web, let it be sexual predators, hackers or so forth and most are also aware that the government, as we know it are watching our every step we take online, let it be our transactions, what we post on our page, our pictures... almost anything and everything to be at that.

Yes, it some context, I do have to agree with what amandaa87 has to say: that we human beings are becoming smarter in handling the web then we were before. But it sometimes takes a few hurdles down the hill for us to finally realize what we’ve done wrong. I remember having a friend whose ex-boyfriends new girlfriend hired a hacker to hack down her Facebook and actually use it to destroy my friend’s image. Luckily my friend was smart enough to report it to the Facebook management, and the hacking stopped. I also had a friend who found out her husband was cheating on her when she saw a picture of her husband and another woman from a friends’ friends-friend (plus minus), and they ended up getting a divorce soon after.

On a contrary, for me personally, I made friends with total strangers over social networking sites, which some people think I was insane in doing, but in the end these strangers are now whom I call my best friends. We got to know each other, meet up in a group, got to know our other friends and families and soon become close till this day. Though I did come across those not-so-nice people whom wanted things that are out of the question, however I did manage to shove them and block them away from my site.

I even had friends who had a big family fight because of some pictures that were posted on the social networking site, that apparently almost each member of the family had... and it caused them not to talk to each other for over 4 months now, up to this day. I almost had the same problem when I invited some friends over for a dinner at my house, and because it was a ‘small’ gathering, I invited only those specific to that group and didn’t invite the rest. Though I did not post the pictures of those gatherings on my profile, my other friends who were there, did, and tagged my profile to those pictures. Within a few days, I had quite some damage control to deal with in explaining why I didn’t invite everyone for the gathering and why it was a small occasion comprising of a small number of people. It’s exhausting really... but that is the price you have to pay.

Take another issue that balances between good and bad of social networking. Imagine this situation: You often see this person’s picture that you don’t know in your friend’s page. You only know that person’s name and how that person looks like, vice versa to that person at your picture. Then one day as you are walking around the Mall, someone comes up to you and says “Assallamualaikum... you Nadeeya kan? (You’re Nadeeya, right?) and you’ll be like “Oh heyyy Amat, right?... you’re Intan’s friend, right??” If things go right, you’d make yourself a new friend. If things go wrong... you’d probably have a personal stalker, especially if he/she knows so much about you, vice versa you are that persons stalker and now too much about that person without even knowing that person personally.

Social networking sites can’t always be called ‘social sites’ because at some extremes, it does not even enhance our social capabilities. This is the case whereby we have people whom refuse to go out of the house because they are stuck on the sites and refuse human contacts, most probably because they’d rather not move from their couch or they have an ‘online game tournament’ to attend to. Some even spend hours and hours a day on the computer that they fail to connect with the real world, and this sometimes prove negativity when it affects your relationship with your family as well as your ‘real’ friends.

As I mentioned earlier, it is all in the eyes (or mind) of the beholder. If you know how to handle

your sites well, and use it in a proper way, rather than a destructive way. Everything will be fine. So to be on the safe side, set your privacy settings at a maximum on your social networking page, so that those that can view you are only your friends and add and approve friends of those that are really your friends, and not some kind of stranger unless you get to know that stranger online on a good start and only meet that person face to face after a few months and bringing a group of friends along with you.

I agree that social networking sites leads to uncomfortable situations, but if you know how to balance your real life and your cyber life or virtual life, then you will be fine. Never let social networking control your life. It will destroy you in the long run, whether you want it or not. Yes, there are lots of good things that come out of it, but there are also the bad things. Balance yourself and social networking sites will actually prove to be good for you to some extent or bad... if you still don’t or refuse to know how to work your way up on the ethics of using social networking sites. It all depends on YOU.

Putri Nadeeya Zahari
2009228552

princessdee2.blogspot.com <--- for the whole class to see!!! Ignore the personal stuff, sometimes i just get carried away...

Best of Shots: Part 2

2010-05-19T19:49:00.004+08:00

Here are some more of my best shots throughout the years.

This is Azimah's and Azman's Pelamin, in Dewan Merak Kayangan, January, 2010.

This looks like a picture of someone commiting suicide. It's actually Amin, wanting a water head massage at the waterfalls in FRIM. January, 2010.

Water particles, FRIM. January, 2010.

Rose Garden in Queenstown, New Zealand. December, 2007.

Roses are red. Queenstown, New Zealand. December, 2007.

Same location as above.

Lake Tekapo, South Island, New Zealand. Looks like a postcard, huh? December, 2010.

Lake Tekapo, New Zealand. This was the view from our Motel room. Imagine waking up to something this beautiful. December, 2007.

Mommy and her cup of coffee. Wellington Harbour, New Zealand. December, 2007.

Daddy & Mommy. Wellington Harbour, December 2010.

Kitty Cat, 2010.

Lake Rotorua at Sunset. New Zealand. November, 2007.

Best of Shots: Part 1

2010-05-19T01:59:00.005+08:00

I've been in love with photography since my 1st year in New Zealand... which means I've been into it for 5 years now. I guess I got it from my late grandfather, Raja Azam. He loves to take pictures and was well known to bring his camera almost anywhere he went. I got my 1st Dslr as a graduation gift from my parents. I'm still using it today.. my err.. only dslr.. haha... Here are some of my best shots that I've collected throughout the years.

A llama at the Rotorua Farm in New Zealand, 2007.

A white llama, with a cool hairdo.. haha!! November, 2007.

Huka Falls in Tekapo, New Zealand, 2007.

Eiffel Tower at night. Paris, June 2009.

Eiffel Tower during the day time, June 2009

Wooden Clogs, Amsterdam, June 2009.

Statue of a maiden, Vondel Park, Amsterdam, June 2009

A private boat, docked on Wellington Harbour, New Zealand, November 2007.

Rusty Ship, Wellington Harbour, New Zealand, November 2009.

Rayyan playing with his toys, Febryary 2009.

Eryna, Rayyan's Baby Sister on her Cukur Jambul Day, 2009.

The late Baby Snowpuff (using my old Sony T5), 2006.

Baby Schatzy

2010-05-19T00:54:00.006+08:00

Baby Schatzy is gonna be 2 years old in 2 weeks time. His Birthday is about one week before mine. 2 years driving this baby? Woww...

Had him a month after I started work in OCBC Bank. Yes, his name is named after my dear friend Schatz Raus. Schatz in German, means 'treasure'. So Baby Schatzy translates to Baby Treasure.

Been through a lot with him... cried, laughed, made out (oopss), went on trips, went thru storms and floods, 3 hour non-moving traffic jams, accidents, scratches, u name it. Many have drove him as well.. I know he doesn't like it when anyone else gets behind the wheels except me and daddy, but he's ok with it. Doesn't whine even a bit! (I'm talking about him like he's a human.. sheesh!) I even had a friend (very thoughtful of him who drove Schatzy like a drift car. OMG.. the horror I was in.. I was screaming at the top of my lungs! Not that I was scared.. ok fine.. I was scared that Schatzy would hit something n get hurt! Schatzy is officially my boyfriend.. hasn't hurt me once and never gave up on me. He supports me all the way and sings beautiful music into my ears... Sigh~

Schatzy wasn't my 1st choice of car that I wanted... but hey, he's worth it in the end. 4wd's are good strong cars. And he doesn't consumer a lot of fuel. I could drive with a full tank (which is about RM110) to Malacca, back from Malacca, and still have some fuel left 2 days later!!

Though Schatzy is not feeling that well now.. his brakes are making whining sounds.. Must bring him to the doctor after I come back from Aussie. Poor thing...

And advance birthday wish to my Baby Schatzy!!! I love you! You've been a dear friend and companion!!! Mmuahx!!

Gedush~

2010-05-18T00:40:00.003+08:00

Harini je rase nk pengsan.. suddenly have to edit the whole blog because of some reasons of exposure. Will this never end??!!! Urrgghhh!!!

His name has changed to Incik. Sekian.

What's Happening to me???

2010-05-17T21:31:00.001+08:00

This is me, about every 12 hours or so:

Is this real lifeeee???

Salute to Mommy!!!

2010-05-17T19:33:00.003+08:00

Being a lecturer is not easy...

I've helped mommy ever since I was in secondary school with her work. And it's pretty hectic I tell you.

At each end of every semester, our TV room will be filled with Mom's student's assignments, test papers and exam papers. Not only that, but with mom's research papers n reports as well.

She sometimes stays up till 2-3am in the morning just to finish her work. I usually accompany her if I don't have anything to do.. or something's interesting on TV. Haha~

Here I am, in her office, helping her with work. It's 7.30pm, our driver is half asleep in the car and we're still typing our way through on the computer. Luckily I'm a fast typer, so it helps to speed things up.

Okkk.. u guys must think, if we have a lot of work to do, then what is Nadeeya doing blogging? Well.. my part's finished la. Now just waiting for mommy to sign some papers, n we'll be off.

Salute to the lecturers!!! Salute to Mommy!!!

Happy err.. Belated Teachers Day!! Hahaha~

Waitinggg... Waitinnnggg...

2010-05-16T18:03:00.002+08:00

I hate waiting... but I have too!!!

Ggggrrrr (sambil kunyah M&M's candy)... Yes, he is sweet like that favourite chocolate of mine.. just have to wait!!!

Ggggrrrr.....

Stuckinthird Launch Party & Actorlympics

2010-05-15T18:00:00.010+08:00

Attended this event yesterday at Laundry Bar, The Curve to show some support to the team. Haha.. Was an awesome occasion. Made some new friends and got to drool over some indie bands. Hiks. But gotta say thanks to Winna & Putri for accompanying me, or I'd be a bit lost. If it wasn't for Wise and his friend coming up once in a while, I'd be like a one woman standing show, pucked in one corner (or say the middle) of the bar. haha..

At the launch party of Stuckinthird, they showed their trailers, short clips on the SlickRicks or Slick Film teams as well as the 1st episode of their Season. There's 10 Episode's all together, and each episode will be shown once in a week, till the mid of July. Interesting show and how they review cars. A unique and somehow never-before-done reviews of automobiles, inscribing them in drama's. Though the acting still could go for a few brush ups, but hey.. once they get a hold of it, they're sure to be fantastic la. Am so proud of them. Tak sia2 xtido malam n sakit demam. :P

Check their episodes and trailers out @ www.stuckinthird.com

And must I say, Mr. someone2 looked pretty dashing. Almost fell off the chair when I saw him coming my way. hahaha~

Later on in the evening, me n the Welly friends, Sue, Dibo, Naze, Krel n Ainee went to see Actorlympics in Jaya One. Okk.... this was hilarious ok!!! One of the best shows I've been so far!!! Couldn't stop laughing the whole night. Dahla mmg sedia pening kepala.. tambah lg pening kepala sbb gelak byk sangat. But it was worth it la.. The cast include my fav, Afdlin Shauki, Ida Nerina, Rashid, Reza, Dato' Zamri, Mel (big boobs.. haha!) and Harith Iskandar, and a short appearence by Douglas Lim. It was made like 'Who's line is it anyway' style, and it was magnificent. Very impromptu acting and comedy. Kudos to all of them! Would love to go again if there's other shows in the future. Ngee~

Ended the night with drinks n desserts with the mates in Rasta TTDI. Overall, it was a good day yesterday.

Post # 201

2010-05-13T01:38:00.004+08:00

Have posted 200 posts so far, ever since this blog was created. Hurmm.. need to blog more. But yeaayy!! One achievent, nevertheless. So here goes post #201

Their latest trailer for their production company has just been released. And Incik's in it too!!! Was a good trailer.. really good, since they've just started off and all. Really proud of Incik and of course proud of the whole production company. You did a great job sayang.. if u're reading this. Was worth the late nights and err... less frequent dates with me.. huhu.. but yeah, patience is a virtue.. and it proves that it's true. Got a date with Afdlin Shauki for his Actorlympics in Jaya One this Friday, after the Stuckinthird Launch Party. Can't wait!

Well... for all it's worth... it was worth it. Haha~

Oit stalker... ingat die sorang je ke yg work for a production company? Ishh~

Falling in love all over again

2010-05-11T01:12:00.003+08:00

This song is for the both of us... Let's Just fall in love again~

I want to fall in love all over again with him. It would be beautiful...

Incik... this one's for US.

P/S: And Jason Castro is sooo comel here... *drool*

U...

2010-05-10T01:48:00.003+08:00

I realise that, after things I've seen and heard, I appreciate you even more. You may be pre-occupied with work, but when you're with me, we respect each other and you treat me like a princess. I appreciate for having you in my life. I Thank God for getting to know you and sticking with you through our hard times. Love u.

Crapping

2010-05-06T01:20:00.003+08:00

Harini i feel a bit rajin to blog... this is the 4th blog for the day, including the John Lennon video.

Well.. for now.. there's a few things I need to get out of my chest realll badly... banyak bende.. so they don't actually link to one another... well, some do.. most of them do. Here it goes:

I may look soft spoken and seldom raise my voice.. but don't let me go to my dark side.. you'd never like it and neither would I. I can throw tantrums like it's nobody's business.
There are some people whom are just plain suck face... puji org non stop.. like we don't know what they're trying to get at.. meluat.
Since Friday, I had 3 supposedly important dates that had to be canceled due to unforseen circumstances. I don't like it.. But I'll just have to face it.
I may be open minded, but when it comes to something against religion, like hubungan sejenis.. there's a certain limit how those people should act in public.. I am ok with these people as friends.. I really am.. but you don't need to show how 'gay' you are in public. It can get a bit annoying sometimes.
I will not reveal who my boyfriend is at the moment, not until we're 100% official. For now it's half way through. Don't ask me why. But I can say this. He works with this online automobile review company and we've been dating for over 5 months now. I call him Incik.. most of my friends might now his real name.. or his nickname M or A. He's younger than me, but age is not a barrier for our relationship.
When it comes to a relationship. I fight my way through for the guy I love.
When I don't have the heart to do something.. then don't force me to do it. It'll just make things worse.
If I had the chance to spend all day, everyday with Incik I would... would get married with him if we could.
I do believe in jodoh di tangan Tuhan... but we have to make it work endlessly. If it still fails, at least we've tried our best.
Do not call me a spoilt rich kid, because I'm not... If I was one, I'd have Manolo Blahnik Shoes, Chanel Handbags, the latest gadgets(like Ipad) by now. Even my car is the cheapest imported 4wd around. But I love Baby Schatzy.. especially good during hujan lebat n banjir times.
I hate when people say "Untung org yg dpt u nanti... u anak org kaya" WTF??? Is that person a gold digger to start off with?
I get annoyed when people say" U senanggg... u xde ni, ni ni... u ade ni, ni, ni" Well, if u want it or don't want it.. then work for it. Don't simply say things like that.
I also get annoyed when people say "Alaa... u nk ke pegi tempat2 mcm ni? Pakai barang2 mcm ni??.. U kan high standard" Again.. wtf? u don't know me well.. so don't judge me like that. Refer to the 'spoilt rich kid" point.
I will continue crapping in this blog tomorrow or after I come back from my holidays, because for now, I'm sleepy.

Nite2.

Life Lesson

2010-05-05T22:44:00.002+08:00

Life is to short to wake up with regrets.

So love the people who treat you right.

Believe that everything happens for a reason.

If you get a second chance, grab it with both your hands.

If it changes your life, let it.

Kiss Slowly.

Forgive quickly.

God never said life would be easy.

He just promised it would be worth it.

Fishes!!!

2010-05-05T18:40:00.001+08:00

Like I don't have real fishes to deal with (20 koi's), I had to take in a few fishes in my blog as well...

Give them food!!! Just drag your mouse n click in the pond to release fish food. Owh.. the fishies are on the lower right hand corner of my blog..

Hereeeeeee fishy fishyyyy...!!!

Imagine

2010-05-05T18:27:00.002+08:00

Felt like listening to this song...

Love this quote:

"You may say I'm a dreamer... But I'm not the only one"

In the shoes...

2010-05-05T01:27:00.003+08:00

Was helping mom with some work... when out of a sudden, it hit me... I used to be in a place that I was sooo occupied with work thay I didn't have time for anything else. And when I did have time, it was spent laying around watching tv or sleeping.. my time. This especially happened at the early stages of my career life where I was still learning to juggle work n social life... it never ended though.. went straight up to my 1 year anniversary of a career lady.

Got me thinking, of how things are between me n Incik. He's going through the same situation I was in previously and I'm being a prick about it. I'm not giving excuses on his behalf, but I'm talking based on my own experience.. though I did manage to squeeze in lunch or dinner with my family n friends... well, ladies are just better of in multi-tasking then men are.. we have an advantage on that. Men don't...

Student life, even though much more hectic than working life at some point, we still have time to ponder n linger around.. and procrastinate alot.. but once you start working.. that's it. Especially when u're not married and don't have any children.. Work becomes a priority, much more than anything else...

So it puts me to believe that I need to loosen up a little and don't snap at the small things that don't go my way. At least there's someone who loves you and whom you love in return...

Reconciliation...

2010-05-03T22:46:00.004+08:00

We reconciled.. err.. is that how u spell it??

We talked it over... told each other that if we can't understand each other and be there for each other, then it would be better to not be around each other. But after a few negotiations.. haha.. we agreed to give it another go and try our best to work it out yet again. I guess we sayang each other that we just hate to loose each other even though we don't get each other a lot times... and on his side, being freaking busy with work to even notice any other things like his family n his friends n me. Which is bad.. but he needs to learn, and I'll be there to help. And I need to learn to loosen up.. a lot! and let things go with the flow.

We'll see how it goes. I'm hoping and praying for the best for us. We're taking baby steps to move into a better relationship position.

Love u Incik.

My MIS Blog

2010-04-25T03:01:00.001+08:00

Was suppose to type a 500 word article and ended up with a 1,600 words essay. Sigh.. I don't know why I always get carried away when I blog. No wonder la I jarang blogging.. coz THIS is what happens... anyway, hopefully my blog is acceptable la.. if not, I would have to do another one. Though I'd probably be happy to do so. Haha...

Blogging and exposing myself to the world...

2010-04-25T01:17:00.002+08:00

I in between writing a blog for my MIS assignment and doing this. My tajuk:
Social Networking: The good, the bad... my personal experience and that of those around me.

Yep.. exactacatly (ikut cara Tigger cakap)... so it's more of like how social networking has brought us down the social circle, or up.. or round n round.. however you want to go through it la kan.

Ngahaha.. wish me luck. Will be linking my post on the mba page to this page.. so might end up with a few followers along the way... Hellooooo classmates!!! Now my world is open to yours!!! you can start gossiping about me like it's nobody's business... (sheesh... maybe i should put this blog as invitation only...)

Anyways.. wish me luck. After this.. 2 more exams to go.. and then.. berjimba wamba time!! Woot-woot!!!

Braces off...

2010-04-08T12:02:00.002+08:00

After 20 months of enduring gigi besi.. my patience have finally paid off, when today... was the day, when I took off my braces.. hihihi!!! And the dentist was singing Zee Avi songs all the time during the removal of my braces. haha!!!

But then, I have to wear a retainer, which I think is much more uncomfortable.. I slurr when i talk.. and I can't eat with it.. I have to open it when I eat. And I have to wear this for 6 months at least. Sheesh... so that'll be a total of 26 months!!! Haihhh... But I guess I'll take it off when I'm out dating or lepaking or for functions n stuff... owh.. n especially presentations!

Glad to know that my teeth are pretty now.. no more potruding teeth... and teeth marks on my lower lips. I love my teeth!!!

I'll post a picture here of the new braceless me, once I manage to take better pictures.

Mmuahx!

Dear you...

2010-04-06T23:46:00.003+08:00

Incik...

I often wonder if you ever read this? If u even care about me n the life I live...
Sometimes I wonder if you do love me.. or it's just for the sake of having someone by your side when you're lonely and need someone to talk with.

I often wonder if you think about me when you do your work.. or is something else in your mind?

Sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice for choosing you.. when in return, I don't really feel loved by you. Yes, when we meet.. you do treat me like a princess. But when we're not together, when you're indulged with your own life... you treat me like a piece of nothing. What is my worth to you, I often wonder?

I hope one, when this is over, that you realise that you made a mistake for not taking the time to be with me when I need you the most... when you feel the lost of not having me in your life.

I hope one day you realise that what you lack was the simple key of showing your appreciation on me.. and because of that... you lost me.

I hope one day you change your ways and show the woman you say you love... that you really love her and u mean what u say.

For now.. I'm still waiting for that change... but I'm not sure for how long my heart can wait.. because each day you become distant from me.. the feelings fade away... let's just hope the feelings aren't lost... or it'll be that day that you regret that you didn't spend a little more time for me.

This is a public confession, because its hard to talk to you personally about this. Plus no one knows who Mr. H is.. it could be just about anyone.

Wombat

2010-03-31T22:32:00.003+08:00

Nope.. this post has nothing to do with that animal... Though Wombat is very cuddly looking.

Anyways... it's the time of the year again, where our heads get all filled up with sooo many assignments, presentations and tests that you don't even bother to learn anything else. It's a cycle we students go through.. a double take for us Masters students. And the same words come out of our mouth everytime the semester comes to it's 3rd Month: I'm tired!! Stressnyeee!!! Gila la camni!!! I rase nk mati!!! Nk muntah assignments please!!! And the grunts and whines and moods come tumbling down like a huge avalanche in Antartic Mountains.

4 weeks of hair pulling, eye popping, head aching, stock-exchange-mood stumbles to go through. Then another one in October... before we finally call it an end to our survival in MBA. So help me God!!!

This is a Wombat, in case anyone was wondering how it looked like. I just knew myself that THIS is a Wombat. Hahahahaha...

And this is me now... so be careful

Whoopiiiieeee!!!

2010-03-22T20:49:00.001+08:00

I laike my new blog background!!! Hihihi...

Have to say thanks to Winna coz I found the link to this blog background editor from her page. Yeaaayyy..

Pondering

2010-03-21T02:23:00.005+08:00

I've given lotsa lotsa thought bout this...
I just don't wanna fight anymore.. not that we do fight..

Coz, I'm the one being angry and what not.. when the other party isn't keeping any grudges at all. Just lack of enthusiasm of some sort in the texting n calling area... and also lack of emotional feelings that we girls have plenty off.. sometimes too much.

Guys.. they just don't get the whole idea of texting or calling their girl back.. it's plain typical..

I've done plenty of interviews on my friends as well as research on the internet (yes people.. I am THAT rajin to study about the brain of men.. haha!!).

So there's a few options.. One is to keep silent mode.. giving him a taste of their own medicine... and they'll probably try to communicate with you back.. because they's be curious/worried and whatnot. Those who don't do that.. well.. then they're plain jerks.

Another is to give your guy the benefit of the doubt... and let loose. It's in our genes to call and text our guys frantically.. and sometimes all they need is space from us.. and we should have our own space as well.

And if our guy is really busy with work, and all stressed out..., not texting them back or being angry at them for not texting us or calling us.. is just a waste of time, coz it'll risen their stress level of some sort.

So the best thing to do is just reduce the number of txt messages u give them.. and when you do.. let it be of a calm nature.. or something that will make them smile or laugh.. to help easen their tension with work. It'll help our own self too in some ways y'know... and always give them support. Who knows.. it could also turn a new leaf into your men. haha!!

Yeah.. don't trust guys 100%... but don't - not trust them at all.. or you shouldn't be in a relationship at all if u can't trust your guy at some point. One point taken.. at least he does call or text you at some point of the day.. and when he find time to go out with you.. he makes sure your date with him is worthwhile.

I'm being his side-kick now... and cheerleader, as well as personal psychologist and motivator. hahaha...

Love u baby.

♥

2010-03-18T01:40:00.003+08:00

What I wanted was to be loved and to feel in love and to feel that someone loves me. What I got is something different.

What I wanted was a person whom would fall head over heels for me and be there for me and know what I'm up to and tells me what they're up to. What I got was something different.

What i want was something different from what I had previously, what I got was something different.. something almost the same with what started my whole heartbreak in the beginning.

Now I'm beginning to ponder whether the move I took was a right one.. and whether I should back out now before something bad happens, or should I suck it all in and hope that when things cool down, it'll be better. Pure patience would be needed, or else, I'll fall...

What I want is love, to love and to be loved in return.

Uuuu... Tough!!!

2010-03-17T22:39:00.002+08:00

Bought a new camera... U tough.. 3m underwater safe, shock resistant.. I laikkeeee... and bought it with me own money... so no one make noise. My money, I'll do whatever I like.. plus my parents pun bg green light to buy it whattt... muahahaha!!!

I love Uuuu Tough!!! And it's red!!!

All the single ladies

2010-03-06T02:17:00.003+08:00

All the single ladies,
all the single ladies...
now put your hands up!!!

Alaaaa... now I can't put my hands up anymore.. but I can say this:
If you like it then u shoulda put a ring on it...
Hahahahahaa~

Sigh.. sometimes I do feel that I am still single.. kinda lonely this past few weeks.. he's preoccupied with his work n the launching by April of their 1st season, etc, etc... we'll see how it goes... I miss him dearly... 5 weeks more before his bday.. wonder what I should get him.. any hints? I dah 4 thn xbg present to a guy.. as in a bf.. hahaha.. so still kinda blur on that category.

Saya rindu awak Incik!!!

When u're left out...

2010-03-05T02:04:00.002+08:00

Don't get me wrong bout this.. Not that I'm not happy that my friends are getting married, one by one.. I am.. I'm extremely happy!!! But when it comes to having u being the only one NOT getting hitched and everyone around you talking about weddings and marriage life and kids.. you kinda get tired and bored. Especially when everyone else have no other questions to ask to you, except "When's your turn?? soon enough we hope"... I politely smile, give a nod and say "InsyaAllah"

Don't know when the big day is for me.. don't even know who I'll be getting married with. But I do know this.. I wanna get married before I turn 30. yeah.. better late than never I say. 3 years to go.. not much time left... *panic mode*

I can't tell my friends to shut up and change topic.. because who am I to stop them from talking all enthusiastically about their marriage to the one they love. That would just seem plain selfish. Well, one good thing is that I can get too see how everyone plans their weddings, who they go to for the planning, the theme, the dress and all sort of stuff. Gives me a good idea on what to do and what not to do for my wedding when it comes... InsyaAllah.

Owh.. and I do know this.. I want hydrangea's for my wedding. Purple and blue ones.. white ones are nice too.

Till the day comes.. all I can do is dream.. dream.. dream...

Star Month

2010-02-25T15:16:00.006+08:00

Felt like compiling my top favourites of stars around the world. Would do so through out the month up till end of March.

For a start... here's my top 10 Most Beautiful Female Stars of the World. Not in random order la.. coz I think they're all extremely beautiful woman.

Hands down.. Audrey Hepburn is the most stunning beauty ever.. No doubt about that. Mane nk cari as beautiful as her nowadays??

Zhang Ziyi... True Asian beauty I must say.. her porcelain skin is flawless... lawa2.

I personally love Sandra Bullock's beauty. Natural all over.. and a great actress.

Shiela from Down Under, Nicole Kidman.. the naturally Red haired beauty is one gorgeous lady!!! I love her!!!

Julia Robert's smile is beautiful.. and so are her eyes... I love her too!!!

Grace Kelly's beauty stole the heart of Prince Riener of Monaco.. She must look like a true Princess true his eyes.. and I agree. Wonder why her daughters and son don't follow in her lead.

Faith Hill, The country girl beauty... nah.. she's just beautiful la..

Tell me who's jaw didn't drop when we saw Catherine Zeta Jones in Mask of Zorro... lawa gile ok!!! It's like.. woahh!!!

Bollywood Beauty... Love her eyes... and everything else about Aishwarya Rai

This is mommy's favourite beauty.. i mean, for her beauty la.. Elizabeth Taylor.. especially when she was still young.

Master Yodee

2010-02-25T14:42:00.003+08:00

If I don't graduate my Masters and am not called Master YoDEE after this.. I don't know what else I could do...

The workload of taking masters... sheesh kebab!!! It's tremendous! Sometimes it gets me thinking whether it was worth it quitting my job and pursuing full time studies. I just hope it does once I go back to career life in 2011. But no more banks please.. I want the true corporate world.. or simply my own business. Ngee~

I just dropped a subject yesterday.. due to pressure of maximum calculation load. 3 calculation subjects?? i just couldn't take it. And I couldn't understand a think for Quantitative Management. So I thought, since next semester is all theory based, I should push up QMT to next sem. Talked to my parents, and the Timbalan Dekan.. and they agreed that I should drop the subject. It also means no evening class on Wednesday.. Ngee~

Masters.. not easy as you thought it would be.. think it thoroughly before you take it.. Is it worth your time? Your money? your social life? If it is.. then move on with it. I gave it a thought.. and if it means that I get a better qualification n experience, and honestly, a better salary.. then I'm up for it. I will survive.. I will prevail!!!

Master YoDEE...hahaha!!

Classes... Phbttt!!!

2010-02-22T01:03:00.003+08:00

Been a one week holiday.. and tomorrow.. well, more to say in 8 hours time, classes will start again.. for 10 weeks before the final semester break. OMG.. lame tu!!! Huhuhu..

Wasted my 1 week holiday by lepaking at home or going out with me mateys and loveys.. sighh~ Skrg br nk panic biler teringat all d tests and assignments coming up. Huhu..

Anyways.. missing my Incik like mad.. walaupun baru last Friday nite jumpe. I guess its because the past few times we met each other is just for a quick dinner or drink and not really going out. Eh wait.. Valentine's tu kire outing gak kan? hahaha.. But still!!! Rindu kot kat die tu... Him n his shaved hair head... not that I'm fond of it.. (I love his hair before more... sampai he says I love his hair more than I love him.Haha!)

Good thing is, Incik has also been preoccupied with work lately.. so that means the both of us will be pretty much busy with our own thing.. and not sorang je busy n the other one whining to go out. But then we'll try our best to squeeze in our dates here n there. Hopefully okla. If not pengsan kerinduan. Hakhakhak...

Well.. of to sleep now. Good night Malaysia.. Good Night Incik.... sayang u!!!

Lovers Day

2010-02-15T17:24:00.004+08:00

Don't really spend Valentine's Day, since I knew about it's true meaning about 6 yrs ago.. But just for fun, I call it Lovers Day.. sounds better kan? Hahaha..

Anyway, spent Lovers day with him by buying my "missing top" at Zara, eating Beef & Chicken Teppenyaki @ The Gardens, Midvalley & watching The Wolfman @ GSC Signature Gardens, starring one of my favourite actors, Sir Anthony Hopkins. A good movie la.. not incredible. But good.. well yeah, we spent the whole 1 hour and 40 minutes snuggled up to each other. So that was good. Muehehehe.

Cabaran...

2010-02-13T21:46:00.002+08:00

This whole week.. has been a very steep test of my patience... everything was rough n didn't run well at all. I just hope this thing doesn't drag further. I miss him and just want to be happy with him.

Different... totally.

2010-02-06T21:43:00.001+08:00

No.1: Never compare your children with another person's child, let it be your's siblings children or your friend's children. These are two different people with different lives, minds n soul.

No.2: Never compare your children with yourself when you were young.. like 30 years ago. It's a totally different era, let alone... a totally different generation. You: Baby Boomers, Us: Generation Y.

I rest my case.

Sayang

2010-02-05T00:02:00.006+08:00

Don't care what people say...

Don't care how people stalk me... (though I might need to hire a bodyguard soon)

Don't care bout the major differences.. because I don't feel them, neither does he...

We sayang each other and that's most important.

Me sayang you Incik

Ngee~

Because I said so...

2010-01-31T00:41:00.002+08:00

It hurts to know that your doing is not being liked by your parents...

Sometimes I wonder what does really make them happy.. for me to find something that THEY love or for me to find something that I love... because now it seems that what makes them happy is if I get what they like and love and admire and not what I really want in life.

Of course, who doesn't want the best for their children.. but is it really what they're children want?? you think you know your own chil well.. but sometimes u have to learn more about them as they grow up.

I'm not their 17 year old daughter anymore.. I'm going on 27 with a mind and a dream of my own.. and I need to learn to make my own decisions and learn from my own mistakes. Playing safe all the time won't help me. I need to take chances and risks.

They've got to learn to let go... as long as I'm happy.. that should be all that matters.

Things that happen are in the hands of God.. how safe or not you protect yourselves, if things are meant to be in Gods plan, then they are meant to be...

Maybe that explains the broken line in my palm.. I'm alive.. but my heart gets broken often...

I don't need to hear my parents say Because I said so anymore. I need to say things for myself now.

Happy. Full Stop.

2010-01-23T01:22:00.003+08:00

Sometimes you have to trust your instict and know when it's time to stop doubting yourself and other people. When you finally found your happiness that you've been searching for so long. You should be glad and not question things any further.

I AM HAPPY.

Guy talk

2010-01-18T22:17:00.002+08:00

Had a talk with some of my close guy friends on relationship. Just to have an insight from the opposite side.

Banyak rupenye leh blajar dr derang.. why guys do what they do and what girls shouldn't do to tick them off. Hurmm..

Should have these conversations more often la...

*Sayang uuuuuu.....*

When the beat goes on...

2010-01-16T16:18:00.002+08:00

Learning to love again... is not an easy task. Sometimes I wonder to myself, whether this is really love? or just a high definition infactuation phase. (ceh.. mcm TV plak) But something deep within me says that this is right. No hesitations, no taking a step backward.. everything moves in smoothly.. a few bumps, as normal.. but cleared off easily. I haven't felt this way for so long... that I'm not even sure whether I've ever even ever felt this way before.

Being with that particular person.. listening to his heart beat soothes me the most, apart from looking into his eyes and his smile.

Is this Love? Is it? Or is it just a phase that will fade away given time.

What is important though.. that at this precise moment. I am Happy. And that is all that counts. Whatever happens after... I leave it in the hands of God. Heartbreak is something we all go through in life.. so if that happens.. I'll be ready. In the mean time. I am Happy.

4am and wide awake...

2010-01-15T04:07:00.002+08:00

My sleeping time has still not being turned to normal hours.. it goes normal like from Sunday to Tuesday.. because I have class.. then it goes all haywire again from Thursday to Saturday.

Hoping that this blogging will help me sleep.. just wanted to type up a few words before I curl up inside my blankie n try my best to ZzzzzZzz...

Ok.. so it's been in my mind for the past few days whether what I'm doing right now is right or wrong. Sometimes I feel that I shouldn't do it and move on.. sometimes my head screams.. STAY!!! I am staying at the moment.. but I wonder if that person really, really wants me to stay, or am I just a diversion of something he's trying to err.. divert from. Haha.. I wonder if the feelings are mutual. I really2 do wonder... It shows like it is.. but deep inside.. I dunno.. I just hope so cause I want to stick like glue to that person.

Owh.. it works!! I'm finally sleepy.. just a few words and sleep already. Good.. good..

Nitey nite everyone!!!

Fever

2010-01-14T14:40:00.002+08:00

There he goes
My baby walks so slow
Sexual tic-tac-toe
Yeah I know we both know
It isn't time, no
But could you be m-mine?

We'll never get too far
Just you, me and the bar
Silly ménage à trois, sometimes
Would you be m-mine?

Oh baby, light's on
But you're mom's not home
I’m sick of laying down alone, hey
With this fever, fever..
My one and own
I wanna get you alone
Give you fever, fever

There it goes
You're still my soul and so
’Cause, sweetheart
Nobody a-knows me
Or can find me,
Time to be m-mine, mine

Let's get inside your car
Just you, me and the stars
Kind of ménage à trois, sometimes
Would you be m-mine?

Whataya Want From Me???

2010-01-11T23:35:00.002+08:00

The song lyrics below is from Adam Lambert's song, Whataya Want From Me. Some of the words apply to me right now.. some though. Not all.. Listen to the song. It's great!!

Hey, slow it down whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
Yeah I’m afraid whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

There might have been a time
And I would give myself away
Oooh once upon a time I didn’t give a damn
But now, here we are so whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

Just don’t give up I’m workin it out
Please don’t give in, I won’t let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

Yeah, it’s plain to see (plain to see)
that baby you’re beautiful
And it’s nothing wrong with you
(nothing wrong with you)
It’s me, I’m a freak (yeah)
but thanks for lovin’ me
Cause you’re doing it perfectly
(it perfectly)

There might have been a time
When I would let you step away
I wouldn’t even try
But I think you could save my life

Just don’t give up I’m workin’ it out
Please don’t give in, I won’t let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep comin around
Hey, whataya want from me (Whataya want from me)
Whataya want from me (Whataya want from me)

Dreaming

2010-01-10T02:03:00.002+08:00

OK!!!... I'm officially in LIKE with someone.. I would say I'm almost falling for the guy.. but I'm not letting my feelings out too much just as yet. Taking it one step at a time. But yeah, can't help feeling wootsie wootsie when he's around... (wootsie means something like on cloud nine.. jittery feeling)

*Sighhhhhh*

Laugh

2010-01-08T15:50:00.003+08:00

A part of The Sword in the Stone Cartoon. I laugh almost everytime I watch it. Brings down the heebie jeebies or sadness or anger I usually have.

Kumbang...

2010-01-07T18:39:00.006+08:00

Saya suka padanya.. sangat2 suka padanya... tapi ntah.. saya rasa satu hari nanti, saya mungkin kena kate bubbye... sebab saya nak jadi No.1, the ONLY one. That's it, but I know it's almost impossible.

Tapi saya sangat suka padanya. Skrg saya pening2 butterfly yg terbalik gitu...

Boys: A girl just needs one

2010-01-04T14:25:00.003+08:00

I just realised.. or actually.. I've been realising it for awhile, just not admitting it... THAT.. I fall for 2 types of guys:

1. Low profile, lower education than me (sorry to admit it.. but I got Masters la kan.. Muahaha!), on the quiet side and those I can buli2 manja easily... hahaha..

AND

2. Bad Boys or naughty boys.. whatever it is, somewhere around that category la. Berlagak, ego tinggi, womanizer, drinker, etc,etc.

How come I'm never attracted to normal guys eh?? Like yg everyone loves, has a good job n education, family oriented, etc?? Owh.. most probably because there are on the verge of extinction or their either already taken or gay... yeay! Not...

Ngahaha.. 2010, the year to find love.. let's see what happens.

Hot n Cold

2010-01-03T03:11:00.001+08:00

Feels so right, when it's all wrong... what am I doing??? I can't help it.. it just feels right.. everything does... but its so wrong!

Wedding

2010-01-03T03:01:00.002+08:00

Today, I organized a bridal shower for Mimah, since she's getting married to the love of her life Azman, in exactly one week time.

How time flies.. it seems it was just yesterday we first introduced each other in 1 Tanjung... and in 2 Tanjung, I got to know Azman plak... and to see them starting out from mere puppy love, growing into true love and now marriage... truly amazes me..

Had fun at the bridal shower.. singing n dancing at Red Box.. a first for most of us of the 7 girls that came. Lawak pun ade sbb masing2 xreti camne nk put on songs and whatever.. hahaha.. and to see Mimah with her Bride to be sash and bachelorette crown.. so cute!!! Ngee~

Nevertheless, I had to hold back tears when we all said goodbye just now. That would probably be the last time I see her before she becomes Mrs. Azman... it was an emotional time for me... one because she's my best friend... two because.. I NAK KAWIN GAK!!! hahaha.. but most of all things might be different from now on, since Mimah will be a wife after this. The same happened to Azleen almost 3 years back... I almost went to tears... and now she's a beautiful wife and mom of two little precious kids. Soon it will be Farah's turn in June and then most probably Intan..
huhu..

To Mimah & Man.. my friends, my best friends for 13 years.. going on 14 years... I wish and pray for both of your happiness.. May your marriage last a lifetime filled with children, grandchildren and maybe great grand children.. Hehehe... May your lives be filled with love, trust and respect towards each other. InsyaAllah... love u both!!!

2010

2010-01-03T01:50:00.002+08:00

2010: What to expect...

I need to seriously look into loosing weight because this time, the weight is effecting my back, therefore my tail-bone pain won't go away until I do...

I need to study smart to get through my masters, which should finish by the end of the year.

I need to be more organized and stop being lazy and rearranging my sleeping time back to normal again.. though that will pose a problem still since I can't get my hands off my laptop and/or handphone until at least 3am in the morning. Sheesh!!!

To fall in love would be another good thing for me this year. After what seems like years of single life... I am in need of a proper relationship. Someone to love and to care for and to be taken care and loved of.

The rest would go along the way... 363 days left for 2010... many things to do, so little time... Live as if we're dying... pray as if we're dying... absorb life and what it has made us up to this point, and stop to ponder what we should n shouldn't do to make a better us.

Happy New Year Everyone!!!

Sinfulicious

2009-12-31T01:06:00.001+08:00

Chocolate Truffles for supper. And I wonder to myself how I got fat... Sheesh!!!

Hurmm..

2009-12-26T15:56:00.002+08:00

Mase gi doctor last Thursday kat DSH, I told him the pain in my back still ade.. tp dah kurang sgt2 compared to mase mule2 dulu..

And... he added 4 more physiotherapies for me to go to starting from Monday up to Thursday, and a check up again with him on Thursday. Beginning to think something's wrong.. but positive thoughts!!!

He said, kalo tak elok jugak, die nk refer me to a nerve specialist... but again, he's pushing away the idea that it's a slip disc.. because he said I can still move and gerak2 my body like normal.

Bosan tul physiotherapy.. 1 hour of exercise, laser treatments, ultrasound and icepacks.. bosan2.. haihhh.. wattodooo...

Wish me luck!!!

Poison & Cure

2009-12-26T14:20:00.003+08:00

Food poisoning.. that's what I got in Indonesia.. according to my doctor, at least 1 out of 3 people get food poisoning when they come back from Indonesia, either a minor or major one.. mine was considerably major.

Let's see.. 4 days of purging and diaorrhea (I still can't figure out how to spell this word), a day of vomiting, 2 days of nauseating.. yepp... nice holiday.. let's also not forget the thing that happen at the airport on the day we left for Jakarta..

Our passports weren't excepted, because there's a ruling that says.. 6 months prior to expiry, the holder must renew their passport and can't travel anywhere.. Kalau dah mcm tu punye ruling.. they should have wrote it terang2 on the ticket and in the passport laa!!! Ini tak.. a fine size 5 print in bold that they expect EVERYONE to read... sheesh!!! so we had to cancel our 1.30pm flight, run to Putrajaya, renew our passports (apparently they have a special case booth for people like us.. and it took under an hour to renew), run back to KLIA.. just to find out that the nxt available flight on MAS is full. Andddddd... MAS yg tetibe bodoh out of nowhere, pergi cancel our ticket back from Jakarta to KL too... kununnye its auto-cancel.. WTF??? and they didn't even ask us whether we want to cancel it.. again dgn alasan auto-cancel derang. Si nak xnak.. dgn berat hatinya.. we took Air Asia instead, had to pay tons of money for the new tickets.. and as usual.. a flight delay for 1 hour mase nak pegi Jakarta and a delay of FOUR effin' hours mase n balik KL... dahla sakit perot, food poisoning.. lg nk delay2.. I think the toilet in Soekarno-Hatta became my best friend, because I visited it for like 8 times within the 4 hour delay...

Haihh.. what a trip... good thing was.. I got lots of thing that I wanted to buy.. not for myself.. but for my lil' business.. Dah jd makcik kain dah I skrg.. ngehehe... For myself, ade la about 4 helai baju.. hahahaha!!

Anyways.. miss home n glad I'm home... santikkkkjer Mesia... hihi..

Home...

2009-12-19T16:23:00.002+08:00

A million faces,
Thousands of Smiles...
Yet I still miss home..
I wanna go home..

Woittt... Baru 3 hari kat Jakarta & now Bandung.. and I miss KL like mad.. nk roti canaaaiiii!!! isk isk...

Despite the heavenly shopping kat sini n stuff... sigh.. home, sweet sugary home.. How I miss thee~

Happy

2009-12-16T15:40:00.003+08:00

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose you cant have everything
Dont you take chances you might feel the pain
Dont you love in vain, cause love won't set you free
I could stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy, but safe as could be

So what if it hurts me, so what if I break down
so what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place, I wanna hear my sound
Dont care about other pain in front of me
cos im just trying to be happy
Just wanna be happy

Holding on tightly just cant let it go
Just tryna play my roll, slowly disappear, ooh
Well all these tears they feel like theyre the same
Just different faces, different names
Get me outta here
Well i can stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
Pass me by

So what if it hurts me, so what if I break down
so what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place, I wanna hear my sound
Dont care about other pain in front of me
cos I'm just trying to be happy

So any turns that i cant see
I'll count a stranger on this road
But don't save it down, don't say anythng

So what if it hurts me, so what if I break down
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place, I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about other pain in front of me
I just wanna be happy...

Courtesy of Leona Lewis's Happy

What is it?

2009-12-15T01:02:00.003+08:00

4 years of single life... no real relationship.. only flings that didn't worked out.. even that with my ex was not considered a real one, because of our long distance relationship that was on the verge of breaking for the most of our 2 1/2 year relationship.

Single life.. people say enjoy it.. but when it is THIS long of a period.. there's nothing much to enjoy. There's only loneliness and emptiness...

I have had my taste of men who take me for granted.. I tell you.. at first, they looked ok.. then they start to show signs of being a control freak, within less of 3 months of befriending each other. Then I have those who end up not quite interested with women... if u know what I mean.

Then there are those jerks, whom some use me for money... just into 1-2 weeks or months of knowing each other, then they asks for handphone top-ups and even to lend some money. There are those who go to the extreme and ask for sexual favours... eeeuuuwwwww... and there even those whom get close to me, because they want me to introduce them to my friends.. that hurts.. big time!!!

Sometimes I wonder what the matter it is with me. To say I'm chubby and fat.. I know people even bigger sized than me who are already in a relationship.. some even married. To say I'm ugly.. I'm not.. I say I'm pretty to be honest... To say I'm a tom boy.. I used to.. now I'm all prim n proper. To sayh I'm high maintenance.. I don't go crazy over designer items and luxury items like other girls do.. whom in fact still get to get hold of a relationship. To say I'm childish.. I'm not. So what is it in me that there has not been a decent man that wants to be with me for me n to love me.

I'm confused, upset, lonely... Yes, I do hahe friends and family.. but it's not the same. Especially when I have almost everyone around me either deeply in love, married or to the least, being courted in some ways.. I try to keep a positive mind, but sadness lingers when I see everyone around me being loved.. and it saddens me more when people ask me when I'm getting married... do I have a boyfriend.. and when I say no.. they give this confused expression of to why I'm still single and asks me tons of questions... Excuse me people, but i question myself on that too you know...

I think I'm starting to bore my friends out when I whine about being single... But I've tried almost everything in the book.. from thinking positive, to opening up to loving myself in order to project a loving aura... to flirting.. what else??

Mandi bunga maybe??? Sigh.. I dunno... I'm blunt... can't think of anything else anymore.

***Sad + Lonely = Pathetic***

When I'm lazy..

2009-12-07T21:36:00.002+08:00

When my mom says I'm a lazy bum.. I really turn to be one... dok kat umah, dok mengadap internet, tv and tido.. that's all I do..

Nk kuar shopping, duit ada but then gotta save for the Jakarta/Bandung trip nxt week.. so can't go shopping here, when I'm actually dying to do so.. I really2 want to go to Pavillion... seriously I do!! But on weekdays, everyone's working.. and my weekend is occupied up to when classes starts again. Bosan giler!!!

I need a spa.. a relaxing spa.. not that I'm not relaxed enough now.. haha. I need to use up my camera, go to the Bird Park or FRIM or sumthing n take pictures of all sorts of stuff..

Bosan, bosan & BOSAN!!!

Pain in the A*s

2009-11-30T03:17:00.003+08:00

The pain is real... right there, down there... not IN there... but somewhere at the end of the spine.

Tomorrow is the doctor's appointment.. wait.. not tomorrow.. in 8 hours time.. yeapp... hope there's nothing serious, though I must admit.. watching movies or sitting in the couch or even driving is not as fun as it used to when your ass is all painful when you move or stand up.. God help me... let this be just a normal pain that will go away with some medicines and not anything severe...

************************************************

On another note... a few people are being a pain in the ass (literally) this past few days.. Like come on.. do I LOOK like a sugar mommy to you? DO I?? I ty to get to know guys.. and the 1st thing they ask after a few phone calls (which I had to do the calling) is to ask for credit top-ups. Those jerks... and some even have the nerve to msg me to ask me for money.. 'to borrow' as they say.. yeah.. watever!!! U're not like my boyfriend or watever... Then.. ajak org kluar... but I end up having to pay for dinner, for the movies.. and kononnya nak tunjuk baik... they help pay for the parking ticket.. which is like a freaking RM1 ringgit je!!! Bodoh manusia2 sekalian...

Giler la some guys nowadays.. playing up on woman like that... tak malu langsung!!! Bodoh and eeee!!! Idiot giler!!! I fired them up all right.. gave a stern message to leave me alone. Ngaha!!! Rasekan... nk pergunakan girls like that.. huhh... pantang tok nenek moyang aku la!!!

Where are all the decent guys out there?? Well.. adela.. my friends are like those... which is why I stick to them... but their friends.. that's that.. no further relationship... Sheesh... Where's my prince charming? My Edward Cullen, my Prince Henry, my Drover, my McDreamy & McSteamy???

Still waiting...

Sakit...

2009-11-24T03:39:00.001+08:00

My bottom hurts...

sounds funny.. but it ain't... I can't sit for too long without feeling the pain...
Could there be something wrong? tersalah urat or sumthing?

Should be seeing a specialist by this week or nxt... haritu gi clinic, but the doctor just gave me a pain killer.. didn't work though...

Hopefully nothing serious la.. dah 2 bulan rase sakit ni... especially when I sit down for too long or mase driving... i might need to bring a cushion, nxt time i go to class.. nk bgn pun rase sakit... Could be the effect of my fall 3 yrs ago, mase jatuh rollerblade in welly...

Doakan everythings ok and there's nothing serious...

Takut n nervous... but trying to stay positive despite the many negative feedbacks...

SOMEONE

2009-11-24T01:04:00.002+08:00

Bosan sorang2...

I need someone to hold me down...

No more scandals...

No more acquaintances

I need SOMEONE...

2 years going on 3 years is not an easy thing for me... I'm getting older by the day...

"Shut up and stop complaining... enjoy single life!!" People say... " The right person will come... be patient" Others have said...Damn you... 3 years is freaking toooooo long!!! Especially when the previous one was not even close as being a true relationship.. that jerk...

Where art thou, SOMEONE???

I need to turn my life around...

What would you do???

2009-11-13T22:03:00.002+08:00

Tadi dkt AXN, they showed this one series called "What Would You Do?".. it was about how we react or don't on the things that happen around us.

There were two most shocking videos that they showed.. and mmg teruk giler.. one video showed these people lining up nk order pizza... n then suddenly one couple kulit hitam ni cari gaduh ngan one hispanic guy.. padehal hispanic guy tu xde buat ape pun.. n the boyfriend ni pergi tumbuk that guy bertalu2.. n what did the rest of the onlookers do? Tengokkkkk jer.. tak menjerit suruh stop ke.. atau tolong mamat yg kene tumbuk tu.. just tengok je.. siap leh bisik2 kat each other lg... no one did anything until the police arrived. I assume the manager of the pizza place tu la kot yg call. Giler trok kan.. I mean u see a guy being beaten up ntah brape puluh kali.. n u leh tengok je mcm xde ape2.. dgn muke sardin camtu.. Ish.. xberhati perut langsung..

The nxt video was even worse.. it was a small road.. in the middle of the pekan.. and this 70 yrd old man kene langgar kreta... hit n run... no one went to help him.. the cars yg lalu lalang pun x stop... derang dtg keliling that guy and tenung je that guy... siap ade satu motorcyclist ni.. bwk motor die pelan je lalu kat that old man.. tp xde buat ape2. N that old man had a head injury and was bleeding thru the head.. Only one lady had the guts to call the ambulance.. and sambil tunggu tu.. no one did anything.. sampai la a police car came to the scene... Sadly, the old man died before they could rush him to the hospital, because of hi non-stop bleeding at the head. Then they interviewed that man punye son.. n he was crying like a baby... and saying " my father loved to help people.. and when he was dying.. no one even lift a finger". The son even came out with a campaign to find the person who hit his father.. but not many people cooperated with him and the local authorities.. so sampai skrg la they don't know who the killer is.

Gosh... what would you do? If it was me.. I would have helped the old man.. and in terms of that hispanic guy being hit.. I might have called the cops earlier or something.. rather then just tengok n do nothing. I hope we Malaysians aren't like that la... Skrg ni mmg nampak Malaysians are caring and help one another... (yelaa.. sampai org on d opposite road accident, org lain yg dok sebok stop n see sampai traffic jam.. haha!!)

Let's be more caring to one another n the society and think of what it would be like if we were in the shoes of those helpless and in need...

Nyeheh...

2009-11-07T16:29:00.001+08:00

Exam... done
Assignments...done

Now?? Cuti for a month n a half!!! yeeeaaaaayyyyyyyyy!!!
Mari kite berjimba wamba!!!

...

2009-10-27T16:10:00.002+08:00

I deserve someone better...

But somehow I think I might get stuck on you...

HELP!!!

Maybe I haven't been looking far enough... I'm just concentrating on someone who's within my comfort zone.. cannot... cannot... have to go outside!!! Sheeessshhh...

Silence is Silver

2009-10-27T15:36:00.003+08:00

People say silence is golden...

It is when there was too much noise around before... But when there is too much of silence.. things get kinda awkward and u long for that noise to come in... even a tweet or a grunt would do. But now? Nothing.. no word.. no hiccup.. nada.. It's been 2 weeks. Well.. except for a couple of e-mails that has been forwarded on and on...

I guess they truly don't want me in their life now... they truly want to throw me away and not be my friends anymore.

I don't know what to do when 20th November comes.. the day all of us are suppose to get together to welcome back our best friend who's coming home from Auckland. All of us were invited to come to KLIA and give a warm welcome home to him... all of us including them. But they don't seem to want to be there. I dunno. If they are there.. how should I react? Like I've never met them before? Like an old friend? or like an enemy/threat to them?

This is sad... this is very sad. Thank God that my mind is occupied with all the things I need to settle now.. at least I don't think about them much.