Silence is Silver

People say silence is golden...

It is when there was too much noise around before... But when there is too much of silence.. things get kinda awkward and u long for that noise to come in... even a tweet or a grunt would do. But now? Nothing.. no word.. no hiccup.. nada.. It's been 2 weeks. Well.. except for a couple of e-mails that has been forwarded on and on...

I guess they truly don't want me in their life now... they truly want to throw me away and not be my friends anymore.

I don't know what to do when 20th November comes.. the day all of us are suppose to get together to welcome back our best friend who's coming home from Auckland. All of us were invited to come to KLIA and give a warm welcome home to him... all of us including them. But they don't seem to want to be there. I dunno. If they are there.. how should I react? Like I've never met them before? Like an old friend? or like an enemy/threat to them?

This is sad... this is very sad. Thank God that my mind is occupied with all the things I need to settle now.. at least I don't think about them much.

Presentations & silly people

Two presentations done... 4 more to go... giler ah... i could go cuckoo any second with all these assignments and tests and presentations. But i will prevail!!!


By the way.. recently, I was talking to a few of my friends, and I told them how busy my schedule was having taken MBA. Which is in fact true.. I hardly have the time to go out that much now.. but yeah, I guess that's the sacrifice I've gotta go through when I put myself in MBA, right? So my intentions of letting my friends know was for them to merely listen and understand why I'm so busy and have little time for them now. Then adela sipolan2 ni.. whom said "Tulaaaa... siapa suruh u amik MBA.. kan dah bising2!!"

Lg satu bengang bile I kate I xcukup duit n stuff kalo nk spend as lavish as I did mase kerja dulu... itupun derang kate the same thing "Tulaa.. dulu dah elok ade gaji.. duit banyak.. skrg dah quit.. budget2 plak..." Dude... dah jd student kot... lain la kalo aku ni anak millionaire ke billionaire ke... bleh kot nk spend gile2... I'm matured enough already to think that I have to budget myself nowadays.. especially when I'm a student now.

What d hell? Who are you to say that? I mmg nk amik MBA and I know what the consequences are of it... so just because i don't have time to go out with you guys or even contact you guys, xyah la nk ckp camtu... ingat senang ke what we're going through? Budus tul... I just bgtau jer yg I penat n stuff.. yela.. mmg stressful n what not.. and of course.. sape yg x bising kan??? but to have a friend or family to say that to you makes it all worse.. it's as if kite ni buat bende yg membebankan diri sendiri... je.. or dlm erti kate lain.. cari pasal.

Excuse me.. sekurang2nya I'm one step ahead of you... I busy ke ape ke.. when I graduate with my MBA.. I'm better off kot.. and I'll prove it to you guys! I will!!! Yg sebenaryne.. some ppl are just jealous of kelebihan org lain.

P/S: this is intended to those yg kate bende2 tu kat I je.. yg xde ckp ape2.. or yg menyokong I amik MBA.. xyah terase.. kroang are the best in terms of the support and understanding you guys gave me...

Never Again...

Would have given up my life for you guess it's true what they say about love it's blind
Boy you lied straight to my face looking in my eyes
and I believed you causeI loved you more than life and all you had to do was apologize
You didn't say you're sorry
I don't understand
you don't care that you hurt me and
now I'm half the man that I used to be when it was you and me
you didn't love me enough my heart may never mend but you'll never get to love me again

Sadness has me at the end of the line helpless watched you break this heart of mine
and loneliness only wants you back here with me
common sense knows that you're not good enough for me
and all you had to do was apologize and mean it
You didn't say you're sorry
I don't understand you don't care that you hurt me and now
I'm half the man that I used to be when it was you and me
you didn't love me enough my heart may never mend but you'll never get to love me again

Wish like hell I could go back in time
maybe then I could see how forgiveness says that I should give you one more try but it's too late it's over now
You didn't say you're sorry I don't understand
you don't care that you hurt me andnow
I'm half the man that I used to be when it was you and me you didn't love me enough
my heart may never mend but you'll never get to love me again

Chentan Cintan...

Bosan dgr pasal chenta2 ni... Menyampah pun ade. Sometimes xlarat nk advice or dgr my friends complaint about their relationship and what not.

Tapi.. deep in my heart... teringin nak rase chenta balik.. chenta yg xterhingga that makes u grin without realising and makes your heart soar high up in the air. I believe now that if u love somebody and u respect that someone.. you'd go through all lentghs to be beside that person.. not infront, not at the back.. but just there beside him and go through the rough n toughness of life together. Tolerance and understanding... and excepting weaknesses of each other and building up those weaknesses into strentgh is what brings the best out of a relationship. I have yet to get the opportunity to experience that now and apply what I've learnt through other people into mine.

The guy of my heart is coming... not so sure when he'll arrive though. Maybe in November or December when I can start thinking more clearly. Yeah.. make it December la.. ngehehehe.. Aminnnn...

Cait...

I just noticed that at least 3 of my previous post was about my assignments... sah-sah aku dah gile... besok tuka topic please... bosan uhh!!!

bg topic korang.. bagi, bagi.. kite membebel pasal bende lain...

Bluerrghhh...

Periods, cramps, headaches, tests, assignments, presentations.. a true October Tragedy... or bak kate Bee, nk nyanyi lagu ni "Wake me up.. when October ends".. hahaha

Xlarat woo... a person can only take in too much before they start to babble away and merepek. 21 assignments, tests n presentations all within 5 weeks...

Kopi O... Nadeeya Macho... Coca-Cola Seven Up, come on Nadeeya, don't give up!!!
(maser bile tah I macho.. I'm hot ok!!! Hahahaha...)

Hopefully this is all worth it at the end... hopefully I can pass with flying colours.. hopefully all my classmates pun bleyh pass with flying colours so that I could get the same awesome classmates next semester (minus pakcik berjanggut dan suke tunjuk bulu dada tu.. eewww.. annoying la die skrg...)




I want a boyfriend!!! Lalala~

Selamat Hari Raya

SELAMAT HARI RAYA EVERYONE!!!

MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN...

Sheeessshhh

I am this close to fanning a white flag above my head and say.. I've had enough with assignments!!! I surrender!!!

But I know I'm more than that and I'm better than that. I'm gonna prove to people that I can get this masters, by hook and by crook.. then comes in the $$$. It's all worth it in the end.. I hope.

Anyone want to do my assignments for free??? Takers? Anyone? No?... Whhyyyyy??? Assignments n tests are fun y'know!!! (Duhhh)

Stress =

Victory??

or suicide???


Muahahahaha... huhuhuhuhuuwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Masters...

I love doing my masters.. I love studying all over again and this time prove that I can do better than what I did in my degree. I scored badly in degree.. and I'm not going to let that happen again. I'm going to score with flying colours for my masters.. yep.. that's gonna happen. You'll see.

But then... the non-stop assignments and tests is kinda getting to my head. Can't let that happen. I need strength. I need my dose of Coca-Cola and Red Bull.. just to get me high.. oowhh.. n m&m's..

I will prevail!!!

Ramadhan

Ramadhan is tomorrow..

To all my friends and family.. Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan.. Semoga setiap perbuatan kita dirahmati Tuhan, InsyaAllah..

Accident..

8 years of driving, last Tuesday however, was my 1st accident. Luckily, nothing bad happened to me.

Only my beloved car's front bumper was dent and the headlights crack. Operation on my car will be done in a few days, thus I will not be driving him for a week or two. I call it a him because he is the only boyfriend I have at the moment. Freaking hot boyfriend I have!! Putih melepak, muscular, powerful, gentleman.. sings good music.. kemek jer sket.. xpe, pasni gi repair eh.. look nice for Raya.. huhu..

Alhamdulillah I'm ok.. I just had a headache for 2 days.. maybe sbb tegang urat mase ermergency brake tu. Owh.. how did I got into the accident? Lambat brake kreta mase tgh traffic jam in front of one utama-got distracted by a fly-lupe nk brake-bamm!!!

Luckily the driver of the car in front of me x marah.. of course la.. not his car pun.. his company car la.. and the damage to his car was not as bad as mine. Huhu.. Even the police men were nice to me. I guess sbb muke I pucat gile.. siap pakai baju kurung putih.. so ala2 gadis melayu suci gitu..

Though after the incident.. I've been extra cautious when driving.. kecut perut sentiasa.. and then mase ni la everyone nk drive like a drunk person. Even the huge truck drivers... giler la takut!

Experience of an accident, even how small it could be, makes u a better driver-sometimes... bak kate my dad.

The feeling is back...

That feeling has come back... I don't hate it.. But I'm not comfortable with it.. Coz it makes me quiete..

Here I am in my room at 2:30 in the morning... Can't sleep n blogging thru my phone. Been waiting for the phone to ring or beep.. but it hasn't.. Silly of me... I should sleep, but I can't help but keep thinking.. Thinking of this feeling of loneliness that has loom over me for the past 3 years or so..

I know what ppl say.. Just be patient, and the right guy will come your way.. Don't rush.. The thing is, there's nothing to even rush about because there's no one to rush on... I still haven't found that special someone who will capture my heart and fall head over heels for me.

It does feel lonely after what seems to be 2 yrs of single life.. In fact, to be honest, the last time I actually felt in love and being loved at by a guy was in 2005.. the final 2 yrs of my relationship with my ex was a turmoil... Not feeling appreciated n loved.. It was just merely hanging there because the both of us just won't let go.. Even though the love was deteriorating.. Maybe it was d ego that kept us going.

After that.. Here I am now... Guys I meet seem to be intimidated by me because of my education n my family background.. am i at fault of having a good education n a good family?? Why be intimidated?? some say they feel challenged by my background.. Hrmm.. Wonder when there'll be a guy who won't be intimidated and take the challenge as a gentleman wishing to fight it for my love... God.. Sounds so classic.. Haha..

The Secret book mentioned about listing the criteria of the guy I want in my life.. And if I focus on it.. Maybe the right guy will come my way soon.. So here it goes. (wish me luck!):

1. Loving
2. Responsible
3. Understanding
4. Tolerant
5. Smart (doesn't need to have a higher education, but just smart)
6. Stable
7. Good looking (doesn't mean handsome.. Just good looking will do.. Though handsome would be a plus)
8. At least 175cm's and above.
9. Able to guide me in religion as well as in life
10. Independent financialy
11. Independent on almost everything but wants me to be at his side to boost his spirits up.
12. Is head over heels in love with me and adores me.
13. A family guy
14. Loves kids
15. Loves animals
16. Funny
17. Appreciative of everything around him including n especially me.
18. Healthy and well built.
19. Has a nice set of teeth.
20. Respects people

I know this guy will come soon. I can feel it that he's not that far away.. I sense his presence, but I am yet to find out who he is. I love him already and I miss him... Dunno who.. But I have all this, waiting for him to come into my life.