Sinfulicious

Chocolate Truffles for supper. And I wonder to myself how I got fat... Sheesh!!!

Hurmm..

Mase gi doctor last Thursday kat DSH, I told him the pain in my back still ade.. tp dah kurang sgt2 compared to mase mule2 dulu..

And... he added 4 more physiotherapies for me to go to starting from Monday up to Thursday, and a check up again with him on Thursday. Beginning to think something's wrong.. but positive thoughts!!!

He said, kalo tak elok jugak, die nk refer me to a nerve specialist... but again, he's pushing away the idea that it's a slip disc.. because he said I can still move and gerak2 my body like normal.

Bosan tul physiotherapy.. 1 hour of exercise, laser treatments, ultrasound and icepacks.. bosan2.. haihhh.. wattodooo...

Wish me luck!!!

Poison & Cure

Food poisoning.. that's what I got in Indonesia.. according to my doctor, at least 1 out of 3 people get food poisoning when they come back from Indonesia, either a minor or major one.. mine was considerably major.

Let's see.. 4 days of purging and diaorrhea (I still can't figure out how to spell this word), a day of vomiting, 2 days of nauseating.. yepp... nice holiday.. let's also not forget the thing that happen at the airport on the day we left for Jakarta..

Our passports weren't excepted, because there's a ruling that says.. 6 months prior to expiry, the holder must renew their passport and can't travel anywhere.. Kalau dah mcm tu punye ruling.. they should have wrote it terang2 on the ticket and in the passport laa!!! Ini tak.. a fine size 5 print in bold that they expect EVERYONE to read... sheesh!!! so we had to cancel our 1.30pm flight, run to Putrajaya, renew our passports (apparently they have a special case booth for people like us.. and it took under an hour to renew), run back to KLIA.. just to find out that the nxt available flight on MAS is full. Andddddd... MAS yg tetibe bodoh out of nowhere, pergi cancel our ticket back from Jakarta to KL too... kununnye its auto-cancel.. WTF??? and they didn't even ask us whether we want to cancel it.. again dgn alasan auto-cancel derang. Si nak xnak.. dgn berat hatinya.. we took Air Asia instead, had to pay tons of money for the new tickets.. and as usual.. a flight delay for 1 hour mase nak pegi Jakarta and a delay of FOUR effin' hours mase n balik KL... dahla sakit perot, food poisoning.. lg nk delay2.. I think the toilet in Soekarno-Hatta became my best friend, because I visited it for like 8 times within the 4 hour delay...

Haihh.. what a trip... good thing was.. I got lots of thing that I wanted to buy.. not for myself.. but for my lil' business.. Dah jd makcik kain dah I skrg.. ngehehe... For myself, ade la about 4 helai baju.. hahahaha!!

Anyways.. miss home n glad I'm home... santikkkkjer Mesia... hihi..

Home...

A million faces,
Thousands of Smiles...
Yet I still miss home..
I wanna go home..

Woittt... Baru 3 hari kat Jakarta & now Bandung.. and I miss KL like mad.. nk roti canaaaiiii!!! isk isk...

Despite the heavenly shopping kat sini n stuff... sigh.. home, sweet sugary home.. How I miss thee~

Happy

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose you cant have everything
Dont you take chances you might feel the pain
Dont you love in vain, cause love won't set you free
I could stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy, but safe as could be


So what if it hurts me, so what if I break down
so what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place, I wanna hear my sound
Dont care about other pain in front of me
cos im just trying to be happy
Just wanna be happy

Holding on tightly just cant let it go
Just tryna play my roll, slowly disappear, ooh
Well all these tears they feel like theyre the same
Just different faces, different names
Get me outta here
Well i can stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
Pass me by

So what if it hurts me, so what if I break down
so what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place, I wanna hear my sound
Dont care about other pain in front of me
cos I'm just trying to be happy

So any turns that i cant see
I'll count a stranger on this road
But don't save it down, don't say anythng


So what if it hurts me, so what if I break down
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place, I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about other pain in front of me
I just wanna be happy...

Courtesy of Leona Lewis's Happy

What is it?

4 years of single life... no real relationship.. only flings that didn't worked out.. even that with my ex was not considered a real one, because of our long distance relationship that was on the verge of breaking for the most of our 2 1/2 year relationship.

Single life.. people say enjoy it.. but when it is THIS long of a period.. there's nothing much to enjoy. There's only loneliness and emptiness...

I have had my taste of men who take me for granted.. I tell you.. at first, they looked ok.. then they start to show signs of being a control freak, within less of 3 months of befriending each other. Then I have those who end up not quite interested with women... if u know what I mean.

Then there are those jerks, whom some use me for money... just into 1-2 weeks or months of knowing each other, then they asks for handphone top-ups and even to lend some money. There are those who go to the extreme and ask for sexual favours... eeeuuuwwwww... and there even those whom get close to me, because they want me to introduce them to my friends.. that hurts.. big time!!!

Sometimes I wonder what the matter it is with me. To say I'm chubby and fat.. I know people even bigger sized than me who are already in a relationship.. some even married. To say I'm ugly.. I'm not.. I say I'm pretty to be honest... To say I'm a tom boy.. I used to.. now I'm all prim n proper. To sayh I'm high maintenance.. I don't go crazy over designer items and luxury items like other girls do.. whom in fact still get to get hold of a relationship. To say I'm childish.. I'm not. So what is it in me that there has not been a decent man that wants to be with me for me n to love me.

I'm confused, upset, lonely... Yes, I do hahe friends and family.. but it's not the same. Especially when I have almost everyone around me either deeply in love, married or to the least, being courted in some ways.. I try to keep a positive mind, but sadness lingers when I see everyone around me being loved.. and it saddens me more when people ask me when I'm getting married... do I have a boyfriend.. and when I say no.. they give this confused expression of to why I'm still single and asks me tons of questions... Excuse me people, but i question myself on that too you know...

I think I'm starting to bore my friends out when I whine about being single... But I've tried almost everything in the book.. from thinking positive, to opening up to loving myself in order to project a loving aura... to flirting.. what else??

Mandi bunga maybe??? Sigh.. I dunno... I'm blunt... can't think of anything else anymore.


***Sad + Lonely = Pathetic***

When I'm lazy..

When my mom says I'm a lazy bum.. I really turn to be one... dok kat umah, dok mengadap internet, tv and tido.. that's all I do..

Nk kuar shopping, duit ada but then gotta save for the Jakarta/Bandung trip nxt week.. so can't go shopping here, when I'm actually dying to do so.. I really2 want to go to Pavillion... seriously I do!! But on weekdays, everyone's working.. and my weekend is occupied up to when classes starts again. Bosan giler!!!

I need a spa.. a relaxing spa.. not that I'm not relaxed enough now.. haha. I need to use up my camera, go to the Bird Park or FRIM or sumthing n take pictures of all sorts of stuff..

Bosan, bosan & BOSAN!!!

Pain in the A*s

The pain is real... right there, down there... not IN there... but somewhere at the end of the spine.

Tomorrow is the doctor's appointment.. wait.. not tomorrow.. in 8 hours time.. yeapp... hope there's nothing serious, though I must admit.. watching movies or sitting in the couch or even driving is not as fun as it used to when your ass is all painful when you move or stand up.. God help me... let this be just a normal pain that will go away with some medicines and not anything severe...




************************************************


On another note... a few people are being a pain in the ass (literally) this past few days.. Like come on.. do I LOOK like a sugar mommy to you? DO I?? I ty to get to know guys.. and the 1st thing they ask after a few phone calls (which I had to do the calling) is to ask for credit top-ups. Those jerks... and some even have the nerve to msg me to ask me for money.. 'to borrow' as they say.. yeah.. watever!!! U're not like my boyfriend or watever... Then.. ajak org kluar... but I end up having to pay for dinner, for the movies.. and kononnya nak tunjuk baik... they help pay for the parking ticket.. which is like a freaking RM1 ringgit je!!! Bodoh manusia2 sekalian...

Giler la some guys nowadays.. playing up on woman like that... tak malu langsung!!! Bodoh and eeee!!! Idiot giler!!! I fired them up all right.. gave a stern message to leave me alone. Ngaha!!! Rasekan... nk pergunakan girls like that.. huhh... pantang tok nenek moyang aku la!!!


Where are all the decent guys out there?? Well.. adela.. my friends are like those... which is why I stick to them... but their friends.. that's that.. no further relationship... Sheesh... Where's my prince charming? My Edward Cullen, my Prince Henry, my Drover, my McDreamy & McSteamy???

Still waiting...

Sakit...

My bottom hurts...

sounds funny.. but it ain't... I can't sit for too long without feeling the pain...
Could there be something wrong? tersalah urat or sumthing?

Should be seeing a specialist by this week or nxt... haritu gi clinic, but the doctor just gave me a pain killer.. didn't work though...

Hopefully nothing serious la.. dah 2 bulan rase sakit ni... especially when I sit down for too long or mase driving... i might need to bring a cushion, nxt time i go to class.. nk bgn pun rase sakit... Could be the effect of my fall 3 yrs ago, mase jatuh rollerblade in welly...

Doakan everythings ok and there's nothing serious...

Takut n nervous... but trying to stay positive despite the many negative feedbacks...

SOMEONE

Bosan sorang2...

I need someone to hold me down...

No more scandals...

No more acquaintances

I need SOMEONE...

2 years going on 3 years is not an easy thing for me... I'm getting older by the day...

"Shut up and stop complaining... enjoy single life!!" People say... " The right person will come... be patient" Others have said...Damn you... 3 years is freaking toooooo long!!! Especially when the previous one was not even close as being a true relationship.. that jerk...

Where art thou, SOMEONE???

I need to turn my life around...

What would you do???

Tadi dkt AXN, they showed this one series called "What Would You Do?".. it was about how we react or don't on the things that happen around us.

There were two most shocking videos that they showed.. and mmg teruk giler.. one video showed these people lining up nk order pizza... n then suddenly one couple kulit hitam ni cari gaduh ngan one hispanic guy.. padehal hispanic guy tu xde buat ape pun.. n the boyfriend ni pergi tumbuk that guy bertalu2.. n what did the rest of the onlookers do? Tengokkkkk jer.. tak menjerit suruh stop ke.. atau tolong mamat yg kene tumbuk tu.. just tengok je.. siap leh bisik2 kat each other lg... no one did anything until the police arrived. I assume the manager of the pizza place tu la kot yg call. Giler trok kan.. I mean u see a guy being beaten up ntah brape puluh kali.. n u leh tengok je mcm xde ape2.. dgn muke sardin camtu.. Ish.. xberhati perut langsung..

The nxt video was even worse.. it was a small road.. in the middle of the pekan.. and this 70 yrd old man kene langgar kreta... hit n run... no one went to help him.. the cars yg lalu lalang pun x stop... derang dtg keliling that guy and tenung je that guy... siap ade satu motorcyclist ni.. bwk motor die pelan je lalu kat that old man.. tp xde buat ape2. N that old man had a head injury and was bleeding thru the head.. Only one lady had the guts to call the ambulance.. and sambil tunggu tu.. no one did anything.. sampai la a police car came to the scene... Sadly, the old man died before they could rush him to the hospital, because of hi non-stop bleeding at the head. Then they interviewed that man punye son.. n he was crying like a baby... and saying " my father loved to help people.. and when he was dying.. no one even lift a finger". The son even came out with a campaign to find the person who hit his father.. but not many people cooperated with him and the local authorities.. so sampai skrg la they don't know who the killer is.

Gosh... what would you do? If it was me.. I would have helped the old man.. and in terms of that hispanic guy being hit.. I might have called the cops earlier or something.. rather then just tengok n do nothing. I hope we Malaysians aren't like that la... Skrg ni mmg nampak Malaysians are caring and help one another... (yelaa.. sampai org on d opposite road accident, org lain yg dok sebok stop n see sampai traffic jam.. haha!!)

Let's be more caring to one another n the society and think of what it would be like if we were in the shoes of those helpless and in need...

Nyeheh...

Exam... done
Assignments...done

Now?? Cuti for a month n a half!!! yeeeaaaaayyyyyyyyy!!!
Mari kite berjimba wamba!!!