Kumbang...

Saya suka padanya.. sangat2 suka padanya... tapi ntah.. saya rasa satu hari nanti, saya mungkin kena kate bubbye... sebab saya nak jadi No.1, the ONLY one. That's it, but I know it's almost impossible.

Tapi saya sangat suka padanya. Skrg saya pening2 butterfly yg terbalik gitu...

Boys: A girl just needs one

I just realised.. or actually.. I've been realising it for awhile, just not admitting it... THAT.. I fall for 2 types of guys:

1. Low profile, lower education than me (sorry to admit it.. but I got Masters la kan.. Muahaha!), on the quiet side and those I can buli2 manja easily... hahaha..

AND

2. Bad Boys or naughty boys.. whatever it is, somewhere around that category la. Berlagak, ego tinggi, womanizer, drinker, etc,etc.


How come I'm never attracted to normal guys eh?? Like yg everyone loves, has a good job n education, family oriented, etc?? Owh.. most probably because there are on the verge of extinction or their either already taken or gay... yeay! Not...

Ngahaha.. 2010, the year to find love.. let's see what happens.

Hot n Cold

Feels so right, when it's all wrong... what am I doing??? I can't help it.. it just feels right.. everything does... but its so wrong!

Wedding

Today, I organized a bridal shower for Mimah, since she's getting married to the love of her life Azman, in exactly one week time.

How time flies.. it seems it was just yesterday we first introduced each other in 1 Tanjung... and in 2 Tanjung, I got to know Azman plak... and to see them starting out from mere puppy love, growing into true love and now marriage... truly amazes me..

Had fun at the bridal shower.. singing n dancing at Red Box.. a first for most of us of the 7 girls that came. Lawak pun ade sbb masing2 xreti camne nk put on songs and whatever.. hahaha.. and to see Mimah with her Bride to be sash and bachelorette crown.. so cute!!! Ngee~

Nevertheless, I had to hold back tears when we all said goodbye just now. That would probably be the last time I see her before she becomes Mrs. Azman... it was an emotional time for me... one because she's my best friend... two because.. I NAK KAWIN GAK!!! hahaha.. but most of all things might be different from now on, since Mimah will be a wife after this. The same happened to Azleen almost 3 years back... I almost went to tears... and now she's a beautiful wife and mom of two little precious kids. Soon it will be Farah's turn in June and then most probably Intan..
huhu..

To Mimah & Man.. my friends, my best friends for 13 years.. going on 14 years... I wish and pray for both of your happiness.. May your marriage last a lifetime filled with children, grandchildren and maybe great grand children.. Hehehe... May your lives be filled with love, trust and respect towards each other. InsyaAllah... love u both!!!

2010

2010: What to expect...

I need to seriously look into loosing weight because this time, the weight is effecting my back, therefore my tail-bone pain won't go away until I do...

I need to study smart to get through my masters, which should finish by the end of the year.

I need to be more organized and stop being lazy and rearranging my sleeping time back to normal again.. though that will pose a problem still since I can't get my hands off my laptop and/or handphone until at least 3am in the morning. Sheesh!!!

To fall in love would be another good thing for me this year. After what seems like years of single life... I am in need of a proper relationship. Someone to love and to care for and to be taken care and loved of.

The rest would go along the way... 363 days left for 2010... many things to do, so little time... Live as if we're dying... pray as if we're dying... absorb life and what it has made us up to this point, and stop to ponder what we should n shouldn't do to make a better us.


Happy New Year Everyone!!!

Sinfulicious

Chocolate Truffles for supper. And I wonder to myself how I got fat... Sheesh!!!

Hurmm..

Mase gi doctor last Thursday kat DSH, I told him the pain in my back still ade.. tp dah kurang sgt2 compared to mase mule2 dulu..

And... he added 4 more physiotherapies for me to go to starting from Monday up to Thursday, and a check up again with him on Thursday. Beginning to think something's wrong.. but positive thoughts!!!

He said, kalo tak elok jugak, die nk refer me to a nerve specialist... but again, he's pushing away the idea that it's a slip disc.. because he said I can still move and gerak2 my body like normal.

Bosan tul physiotherapy.. 1 hour of exercise, laser treatments, ultrasound and icepacks.. bosan2.. haihhh.. wattodooo...

Wish me luck!!!

Poison & Cure

Food poisoning.. that's what I got in Indonesia.. according to my doctor, at least 1 out of 3 people get food poisoning when they come back from Indonesia, either a minor or major one.. mine was considerably major.

Let's see.. 4 days of purging and diaorrhea (I still can't figure out how to spell this word), a day of vomiting, 2 days of nauseating.. yepp... nice holiday.. let's also not forget the thing that happen at the airport on the day we left for Jakarta..

Our passports weren't excepted, because there's a ruling that says.. 6 months prior to expiry, the holder must renew their passport and can't travel anywhere.. Kalau dah mcm tu punye ruling.. they should have wrote it terang2 on the ticket and in the passport laa!!! Ini tak.. a fine size 5 print in bold that they expect EVERYONE to read... sheesh!!! so we had to cancel our 1.30pm flight, run to Putrajaya, renew our passports (apparently they have a special case booth for people like us.. and it took under an hour to renew), run back to KLIA.. just to find out that the nxt available flight on MAS is full. Andddddd... MAS yg tetibe bodoh out of nowhere, pergi cancel our ticket back from Jakarta to KL too... kununnye its auto-cancel.. WTF??? and they didn't even ask us whether we want to cancel it.. again dgn alasan auto-cancel derang. Si nak xnak.. dgn berat hatinya.. we took Air Asia instead, had to pay tons of money for the new tickets.. and as usual.. a flight delay for 1 hour mase nak pegi Jakarta and a delay of FOUR effin' hours mase n balik KL... dahla sakit perot, food poisoning.. lg nk delay2.. I think the toilet in Soekarno-Hatta became my best friend, because I visited it for like 8 times within the 4 hour delay...

Haihh.. what a trip... good thing was.. I got lots of thing that I wanted to buy.. not for myself.. but for my lil' business.. Dah jd makcik kain dah I skrg.. ngehehe... For myself, ade la about 4 helai baju.. hahahaha!!

Anyways.. miss home n glad I'm home... santikkkkjer Mesia... hihi..

Home...

A million faces,
Thousands of Smiles...
Yet I still miss home..
I wanna go home..

Woittt... Baru 3 hari kat Jakarta & now Bandung.. and I miss KL like mad.. nk roti canaaaiiii!!! isk isk...

Despite the heavenly shopping kat sini n stuff... sigh.. home, sweet sugary home.. How I miss thee~

Happy

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose you cant have everything
Dont you take chances you might feel the pain
Dont you love in vain, cause love won't set you free
I could stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy, but safe as could be


So what if it hurts me, so what if I break down
so what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place, I wanna hear my sound
Dont care about other pain in front of me
cos im just trying to be happy
Just wanna be happy

Holding on tightly just cant let it go
Just tryna play my roll, slowly disappear, ooh
Well all these tears they feel like theyre the same
Just different faces, different names
Get me outta here
Well i can stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
Pass me by

So what if it hurts me, so what if I break down
so what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place, I wanna hear my sound
Dont care about other pain in front of me
cos I'm just trying to be happy

So any turns that i cant see
I'll count a stranger on this road
But don't save it down, don't say anythng


So what if it hurts me, so what if I break down
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place, I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about other pain in front of me
I just wanna be happy...

Courtesy of Leona Lewis's Happy

What is it?

4 years of single life... no real relationship.. only flings that didn't worked out.. even that with my ex was not considered a real one, because of our long distance relationship that was on the verge of breaking for the most of our 2 1/2 year relationship.

Single life.. people say enjoy it.. but when it is THIS long of a period.. there's nothing much to enjoy. There's only loneliness and emptiness...

I have had my taste of men who take me for granted.. I tell you.. at first, they looked ok.. then they start to show signs of being a control freak, within less of 3 months of befriending each other. Then I have those who end up not quite interested with women... if u know what I mean.

Then there are those jerks, whom some use me for money... just into 1-2 weeks or months of knowing each other, then they asks for handphone top-ups and even to lend some money. There are those who go to the extreme and ask for sexual favours... eeeuuuwwwww... and there even those whom get close to me, because they want me to introduce them to my friends.. that hurts.. big time!!!

Sometimes I wonder what the matter it is with me. To say I'm chubby and fat.. I know people even bigger sized than me who are already in a relationship.. some even married. To say I'm ugly.. I'm not.. I say I'm pretty to be honest... To say I'm a tom boy.. I used to.. now I'm all prim n proper. To sayh I'm high maintenance.. I don't go crazy over designer items and luxury items like other girls do.. whom in fact still get to get hold of a relationship. To say I'm childish.. I'm not. So what is it in me that there has not been a decent man that wants to be with me for me n to love me.

I'm confused, upset, lonely... Yes, I do hahe friends and family.. but it's not the same. Especially when I have almost everyone around me either deeply in love, married or to the least, being courted in some ways.. I try to keep a positive mind, but sadness lingers when I see everyone around me being loved.. and it saddens me more when people ask me when I'm getting married... do I have a boyfriend.. and when I say no.. they give this confused expression of to why I'm still single and asks me tons of questions... Excuse me people, but i question myself on that too you know...

I think I'm starting to bore my friends out when I whine about being single... But I've tried almost everything in the book.. from thinking positive, to opening up to loving myself in order to project a loving aura... to flirting.. what else??

Mandi bunga maybe??? Sigh.. I dunno... I'm blunt... can't think of anything else anymore.


***Sad + Lonely = Pathetic***

When I'm lazy..

When my mom says I'm a lazy bum.. I really turn to be one... dok kat umah, dok mengadap internet, tv and tido.. that's all I do..

Nk kuar shopping, duit ada but then gotta save for the Jakarta/Bandung trip nxt week.. so can't go shopping here, when I'm actually dying to do so.. I really2 want to go to Pavillion... seriously I do!! But on weekdays, everyone's working.. and my weekend is occupied up to when classes starts again. Bosan giler!!!

I need a spa.. a relaxing spa.. not that I'm not relaxed enough now.. haha. I need to use up my camera, go to the Bird Park or FRIM or sumthing n take pictures of all sorts of stuff..

Bosan, bosan & BOSAN!!!