Turning 27

It's past midnight already. I'm officially 27 years young! Haha... 27 is just a number. According to my friend, it's not just another year.. it's a year better. I believe that.

Lots more things to explore, more to improve.. more people to meet, more experiences to go through. I hope.. no..I believe that this turning of 27 will give me one of the best experiences in life. I believe things will be much better for me this year around.

Oh, I just I love myself! Happy Birthday to me!!!

2nd Semester

Results are out. I got thru. GPA of 3.47. Shy of 0.03 points of 3.50. Nevertheless, I'm happy with my results. Just wondering why I'm not grinning ear to ear. Maybe because I waited for 8 hours to actually get my results, coz the uitm student portal crashed n hanged. And that means I'm super exhausted.

Well.. a good B'day gift to myself. Things seem to look good for my turning 27. Loving it!!! Alhamdulillah.

I carry your heart with me

I carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)
I am never without it(anywhere
I go you go,my dear;

And whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
I fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Edward Estlin Cummings

Ketchup

Last night I went out for a dinner with Incik. We went to a fast food joint. Since he didn't want to bring me to a mamak shop to eat roti canai. "Malam2 jgn mkn roti canai" katenye. (huwaaarrghhh).

Anyway, I got the food, while he got a table and the sauces. Then when I sat down, he passed me some tomato ketchup. "Here's your ketchup, since I know u don't eat Chilli sauce". I was speechless. He remembered? He actually remembers that I don't take chilli sauce? I mean what.. We've only gone on a dinner date to a fast food outlet like twice, not including here.. and he remembered? I was soo touched. I managed to say "You ingattttt???" And he replied "Yelaa.. ingatlaa" Then I gave the widest grin.

OK.. So remembering that I don't like chilli sauce may not be a big deal for you lots, but to me.. it is. It means that he has been paying attention to what I like and don't. Especially when it comes to food, since I'm a bit picky on it. Some people who've know me for years still can't remember that I don't take chilli sauce and brings me a whole bunch of packets which I shove to the side. Haihhhh.. *melts*


Sayang kamu Incik. Walaupun pasai sos tomato. Hehe.

In a weeks time.

In a weeks time, well in 5 days to be exact, I turn 27. It's over the quarter century age.. and closer to 30. Sheesh.

I often wonder what I've done for the past 27 years in my life, that I'm proud off and regretted off. A lot.

Wouldn't want to bore you people out with the list of things I did in the past. It would take days to finish. But I can say that I'm proud to have done what I've done, and those things that I regretted doing, I don't regret them anymore, because that's what made me a better person, the one I am today and a wiser person at that.

Though I must say 2010 is a good year for me. In love, in health, in family n friends... and experience. And I hope, the next years to come will be good for me, even better I believe.

I realized that throwing away negative thoughts and thinking positive and looking at the brighter side of life has made it better. I just learned to grasp this a few weeks back and it has helped me a lot in so many ways. I've learnt that the more we complain, the more unwanted things come our way. If we look at our problems from a different angle and remind ourselves that we are lucky things couldn't get any worse, helps too.

Positive energy makes us stronger and more confident in life and we shouldn't be afraid of what life has got for us. We should put our heads up high n believe in ourselves that we can go through anything and achieve our dreams. When we look down at people and look at their bad side, we're actually reflecting ourselves, and in turn, that doesn't make us a better person than that person. So that, I am trying not to say anything bad about anyone anymore, because we don't know who they really are inside, and everyone behave's and reacts in a certain way for a reason and that's the same for us.

Another thing I learnt was to be filled with gratitude to those around us. People and things... I try to wake up each morning to Thank God for everything I have, and for everything I will have in the future, may it turn me into a better person.

I've recently started to recite The Quran again, even though I'm struggling quite a bit after a long time of leaving it, I still feel a sense of calmness when I read the sentences with the help of the Ustaz. I've also managed to take my 1st helicopter flight a few days back, and in 10 days time, InsyaAllah will take my 1st scuba diving lessons. To some people, these things are nothing.. something typical. But to me, it's an accomplishment that I am proud of.

In 7 months time, I'll get thru my MBA and start working again, and in between, there are many other dreams I am aiming to achieve, before moving on to 28. Let's see how that goes. For now, I'll enjoy beeing 26+ for the next 5 days, and then, have the best 27 years of age I could.

Travel Blog Australia: Part 6

1st June:

Today, I woke up thinking.. OMG! I'm getting on a helicopter soon! Walked to Sea World Resort after breakfast, butterflies fluttering like mad in my tummy. Met dad there, who went earlier because he 'wanted to see the dolphins'. (cute). Then we went to book my 1st flight in a helicopter. Time of flight was 1.25 and the that time it was 11am. Lamenye nk tunggguuuu... so me n dad jln2 in SeaWorld, watched the dolphin show, again. (We're over fascinated with this mammals la..) and then had lunch of seafood basket (again), watched some pirate stunt show, n walked our way to the helipad. I was having the heebie jeebies like it was nobody's business. Haha..

Skali nampak la assistant pilot. Handsomenye!!! Tros hilang nerves. muehehe. Then I went to watch the safety briefing video, before being led to the waiting area near the helipad. Come 10 minutes, the helicopter came. The assistant, owh sooo handsome, lead us to the helicopter and assist us into our seat. I was over exitedly waving towards my dad like a 5 year old kid. Then with the headphones on, the doors closed, up I went. Owh.. I took the helicopter trip with 3 other people. Don't know who they are, but naik jela kan.

The helicopter trip was fun. Not like how I imagine it would feel like. It was a smooth flight, despite the rain, wind n fog that was surrounding Gold Coast at that time. The view of Gold Coast was magnificent! I almost cried. hahaha.. Owh, did I tell u, that there's a Piazza Versace Resort near our hotel. From the outside pun dh nampak cantik, and when I viewed it from the helicopter. Woah.. mouth dropped opened! The pool itself was stunning. Huhu. It was just a 15 min flight, but it was an awesome experience before I turn 27. OMG! Must I remind myself that? huhu..

Anyway, after the ride, me n dad took the shuttle to the biggest shopping plaza in Gold Coast, called Pacific Fair. I rase boleh sesat kot dlm tu. It's like an outdoor n indoor mall, in which the outdoor mall is like street shops n what not, n the indoor shops are like normal shops we have here. Nice la jugak. So many shops, I couldn't choose which one I wanted to go into 1st. So in the end, I chose to go into those I was familiar with. And got many2 things. Hahaha... Met mom n my grandparents, who also shopped like mad. (Mom la.. not my grandparents) Then we took the shuttle back to Surfer's Paradise to grab dinner.

That's pretty much what happened today. Till 2moro. Owh.. besok nk gi Harbour Town Factory Outlet plak. OMG. Shopping lagiiii!!!!




2nd June:

Nothing much today. Just spent most of the day shopping at Harbour Town Factory Outlet. Of course.. went crazy shopping. Hahaha.. got a lot of stuff, clothes, handbags, etc. By the time I got back to the hotel I was tired. Then went out again to get dinner in Surfer's Paradise. Balik Hotel. ate dinner, just finished packing. 2moro to Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary, before we take a bus to Brisbane for our flight back to KL.



3rd June:

Today me n dad went to Currumbin Wildlife Sactuary, where supposdely, next to Australia Zoo, is worth to go too, to see Australian animals. Took the early shuttle there.. 1st impression "keciknyer entrance tpt ni.. betui ke 27 hectares? Hurmmm.." Went in, n saw one of the zookeepers feeding milk to Larakeets (small, colourful parrot look-a-like birds). Banyak giler larakeets! I got excited and went to the are to take some pictures, when the zookeeper offered a plate of milk to me to give the birds. I pun dgn confidentnyer gi amik. Suddenly, about 20 birds came flying up to me.. on my hands, n shoulders. Tajam kot kuku derang! Sakit woo.. I tried my very best not to shout, as not to scare the birds. But then it came where they sat on my head. Owh the claws.. scratching on my forehead n hair. I couldn't take it anymore n passed the plate back to the zookeeper. And of course, my hand n forehead bercalar2. Nasib x luke. huhu..

Then in we went to take the train to go to the main attractions. Alamak.. almost all the animals were still sleeping. Of course, it was near winter, cold n windy.. most animals prefered to sleep in. While us humans were making noise to wake the animals up. Huhu. Then I caught sight of the Koala's. Wahh.. gembiranya hati!! Comeyl n gebu.. I feel like squeezing them. Haha..

The place was pretty boring, except for the shows, koala's n kangaroos. Got to feed n pat the kangaroos. Even got a hug from one of 'em. (Aaaawwwwww) n got to hug a Koala as well (Double Aaawwww..) Owhh., and I got to see a Wombat 1st hand. The Wombat I talked about in my recent post. OMG.. 50kg's n all. Besar, gebu, cuddly.. but apparently garang animal.

Later on, me n dad headed back to the hotel, did our final packing n headed to Brisbane International Airport. Our flight got delayed for 2 hours. Technical problems with MAS Airlines. Slept most of the time in the plane.


4th June:

Glad to be home. Slept for 4 hours after we reached home sweet home. My room never looked as pretty. I slept like a log. Ngee~

Aussie was fun. Was refreshing and helped me a lot in keeping things positive and looking at the brighter side of life. I think.. NO.. I mean I know, that I'm a better person now.. In a weeks time, I'll be turning 27, and I know I'm prepared to face anything. Positive thinking and gratitude towards everything and everyone around me. That helps make me a better n wiser person.

Travel Blog Australia: Part 5

30th May:


Today we went to Seaworld, which is just a monorail's ride away. Since the Seaworld Resort is just right beside it. The seaworld is not that big. But well planned. Watched the sea lion and dolphin shows, as well as pirate shows. The rest are normal la... sting rays, sharks, penguins, we went at around 10.30am, and finished by 3.30pm. Well actually, my parents n grandparents went to the city 1st, while I stayed back. So i went around Seaworld alone.

This is what happens when you're the only child and you don't have any cousins or friends to follow you on these kinda trips. U gotta learn to be independent. Luckily I'm used to it already.

After Seaworld, I went to meet up with the parents n grandparents in Surfer's Paradise. Shopped and window shopped around there. Itupun byk kedai dh nk tutup. So I didn't get to cover all the shops. No fret, Wednesday, we will be going to Pacific Fair. The biggest shopping mall in Gold Coast. For dinner, we had Indian food, 2 doors away from the Malaysian restaurant we went to the night before. Huh... soooo much better ok! Tp seriously muak la makan Indian food and seafood. Rase cam xlarat nk face any more curry's or fish n chips. haihh.. what to do.. nk isi perut nyer pasal. Nk makan salad, takmo plak. ngahaha..

Now dh balik hotel n kepenatan. All i can see now is the bed. huhu.. nites!!! Tomorrow: Movie World Baybeh!!!




31st May

Harini gi Movie World... about 30 min from our hotel. Okkk.. xdela besar sangat. Ingatkan like same besar ngan Universal Studios LA or Disneyland LA gak. rupenye half the size. Same besar ngan Sunway Lagoon kot. But yeah, oncei enter there.. I'm no longer a 26 year old. I suddenly become a 10 year old... getting excited over almost everything I see. Hahaha!!!

Sampai2 je, tros gi tengok Shrek 4D Adventure. It's just like a movie, about 15 min long, in which we have to wear those 3D glasses, and then there are special effects, like when Donkey Sneezes, we can feel water spray all over us. Nasib baik la i biase. Imagine if it was really mucus... eeeuuuww.. Owh2.. before that, I got to takea picture with Batman. Lepas kluar je Shrek, amik gambar ngan Shrek plak. Siap peluk2 die like it's Incik. Thank God Incik is not huge n green... but yeah, he's still huggable. Ngee~

Then jalan2, took the Scooby Doo ghost ride, which is a roller coaster crossed with a haunted house. Okla gak. And since again.. no one accompanied me on the rides (my parents n grandparents sat at this cafe around the main plaza), I went alone. But there was this family of a mom and two kids, and she noticed I was alone. So she asked me to join her n her daughters, since the roller coaster car could fit 4 people. guess what? I screamed, and the kid beside me kept quiet. hey hey.. I menjerit bukan pasal takut ok.. but sbb sronok. I kept making sure the kid was alright. Mane la tau, kot2 die senyap tu.. die pengsan ke. hahaha...

Then I took the Batman Motion ride, this time dad went along. Okkk... he kept on yawning and shifting in his seat. He was tired, sleepy and bored. But agak bosan gakla that ride. I wanted to ride Superman escape, this roller coaster which has an almost 90 degrees vertical drop, but I still didn't have the guts too, everytime I hear someone scream at the top of their lungs. huhu.. Beside Superman Escape is Batman Spaceshot, which is like Solero shot in Genting, but taller. Mmg tak la kan nk naik bende tu. Behind it, Lethal weapon roller coaster. I guess I skipped all the extreme rides. not because i didn't want to.. but It's no fun riding on it alone. If i had a friend with me, I'd be sure to take all those rides. huhu..

Well.... hopefully I get to come here again, with friends.. if not here, then maybe in Disney World/Universal Studios, Florida. My next aim for a trip. Wonder when... hmm.. Then I'd have more fun to get on the rides and what nots.

Nevertheless, I had a great time shopping. I now have a superman shirt, batman shirt, wonder woman shirt, a large drinking tube, keychains, magnets.. picturess.. wahhh.. giler sronok la shopping kan! haha.. Owh, I also got pictures with Daffy duck and Sylvester the cat, as well as err... Bugs Bunny nyer gf, ape ntah name die.. and Martian Man.

Ooohh... the official photographer for the characters, took my pictures with Batman before, and later with Daffy duck, and he said... "Owh, you again... you take a good picture.. you have a beautiful smile!" How I wish he was about 10 years younger and with hair... dh lame aku ngorat balik. Ngee~

Then tengok Car stunt show, which was really awesome!!! The cars were screeching right n left, we could smell burnt rubber, and many other stunts la... There was even an explosion.. which was really close to me and the rest of the spectators. So terasa la heat die.

Then finally was the parade. Again, relatively small compared to Disneyland's parade. Sheesh... nk comparekan ngan Disney.. of course la kalah kan? Disney is soooo much more fun!

Excited punye pasal, I didn't even have lunch. I only had popcorn n lotsa Coke. No wonderla hyper memanjang td. But now I'm freaking hungry and tired. Waiting for dad to go buy us some dinner at Surfer's Paradise. Asked him to buy us Thai food instead. Maybe seafood fried rice ke or something. At least better than Indian food or fish n chips. Huhu..

Okla.. today's the last day I subsribe to the hotel's internet. So the next posts will be when I come back. Or if I can get internet access kat the hotel's public internet room, I'd use that. but kat situ net lembab jer. huhu..

Until next time... G'day Mate!!!

Travel Blog Ausralia: Part 4

29th May


Finally arrived Gold Coast today. Staying at Sea World Resort. Yes, thats right, it's right beside Sea World. And the best thing is, we get unlimited excess to both Sea World and Movie World up till the day we check-out. Ngee~

The hotel is quite old la from the outside, but since the rooms have recently been refurbished, it looks better in the inside. Haha.. Owh, and u know what? Gold Coast reminds me a lot of Florida! The houses, the beach, the roads.. mmg mcm kat sanela. I thought I was imagining things, but mom n dad said the same thing too.

After we checked in, at about 4pm, we had a very late lunch and then took a shuttle towards Surfer's Paradise to see what the place has to offer.

Surfer's Paradise is a stretch of hotels, shops, bars, restaurants and all sorts. There's even a Hard Rock Cafe. Cantikla tempat ni. Byk giler kedai to shop at. But since it was already 5.45pm by the time we got there, most shops were getting ready to close. (Yeah.. it's almost the same like New Zealand, shops closes at 6pm on normal days) Only big brands closed at 9pm. So me n my parents just walked along the streetsand survey kedai2 yg nampak best to shop. (my grandparents stayed back in the hotel. Tak larat katenye.. kesian kadang)

Then we went to pack dinner atthis Malaysian restaurant called Maharani. The owner is Singaporean ke ape ntah, but married or lived in Malaysia. From the pictures around the restaurant, apparently, Malaysian artists like Siti Nurhaliza, Zahid n Farah AF, Anuar Zain, Aznil Hj. Nawawi and TV3 Personalities have eaten here. Well, it is halal.. and it is Malaysian... so no doubt about it la. But honestly speaking, the food isn't that nice. I've tasted Chinese cooking Malaysian food which tastes much better. we ordered Nasi Lemak, Nasi Goreng Kampung, White rice, Sambal Tumis Ikan and tahu with sambal pecal. The only thing nice was the fried chicken wing that came together with the nasi goreng. huhu.. Apedaa.. patut melayu masak, lg sedap la.. I wonder if they need a chef? I could work there! With a price! Gaahhh!

Dad has gone to sleep, mommy too. It's almost 11pm here. I'd better get some sleep too. Tomorrow - Sea World!!! Yeaayy!! I sooo wanna kiss the dolphins pleaseee....


P/s: Have been thinking positive thoughts about me n him and pushing away all negative thoughts since now. It feels good!!!

Travel Blog Australia: Part 3

28th May:

Today I woke up late. Probably because of last night's exhaustion. Didn't have breakfast, just straight to the shower for the trip for today.

my famil and I took the Hop-On Hop-Off bus around Sydney CBD. Errr.. Bus die buruk ye.. walaupun double decker bus. Bus lame, kerusi lebam and so forth. Next time if you people want to come to Sydney for a trip, take Sydney Explorer instead. It's AUD$5 extra than the double decker bus, but it's much nicer n covers a lot more places, though it's only a normal bus la. But nak tour punye pasal, bantai jela naik. hehe.. We didn't hop off the bus intol almost 1 1/2 rounds. Saje je nk tengok the city. The buildings, the architecture, especially the old ones, kinda reminds me of US, becausesome of the houses looks like New Orleans houses with carved woods and flowered grills. Cantik la jugak.

And I noticed that some buildings are highly influenced by Roman architecture. The statues, the NSW State Libray and others all have those Pantheon, high beamed pillars look-a-likes. Owh, and dekat sini ade Hyde Park ye. Not as big and as beautiful as the one in London, but it's still pretty nevertheless. right infront of the park is the Australian Museum, which I didn't go too, and also the Sydney Grammar School. I think it's an all boys school, because the kids that came out from the school, were all.. yeah.. boys. haha... between the age of 12-18 I guess. So nengok la calon2 anak ikan. comeyl2 gitu. hahhaha.. OMG!! Trok tul!

Later on kami gi QVB (Queen Victoria Building). It's a shopping plaza yg cantik. Kinda reminds me of Old Bank Arcade in Wellington, but this one is much bigger. Most of the shops here are of designer shops.. so xde shopping mane pun. just looked around. But there was this 'Laksa House' at the Lower Ground, yg kami budget, are owned by Malaysian Chinese. The chicken was halal, so okla. we had lunch there. The Laksa was delicious!! Mom had that, and i tasted some. But I had white rice, chicken kapitan and kacang panjang and tauhu tumis. Sedap woo.. hahaha..

After that, my grandparents and my dad went back to the hotel, and me n mom continued our shopping trip along George Street. One of the best shopping streets in Sydney, where you can practically find everything! Including 2 departmental stores, famous in Aussie: David Jones and Myers. Then, as we got tired, me n mom headed back to Harbourside shopping centre, by monorail, since mom didn't go there the 1st time around. (Ladies and shopping go hand in hand I tell ya!) we later met with dad, had dinner at the food court, me n dad had fish n chips while mom had Indian food... again.

Alyaa came again to spend the night with us at the hotel before we head to Gold Coast in the morning. Me, her n mom chatted till 2am in the morning. Time to sleep now. Nitey Nite.

Travel Blog Australia: Part 2

27th May

Today feltgood. I'm beginning to regain my strength and think more positively. Loving myself is better than ever. Started the day, waking up at 6.45am in the morning. Mommy couldn't sleep, so she cooked breakfast and woke everyone up early. Oh, by the way, Alyaa, my cousin who's currently studying in New South Wales University here in Sydney, came to join us smalam. Slept here for a night. Had a few talks. Was pretty tired but really happy to see her. Haven't seen her for a year n a half since she hasn't came back to M'sia ever since she started studying here. Everyone gave her a big fat hug. I had to control back tears. Me and my emotional, sensitive side... sheesh!

Ok.. sambung cerita. After breakfast, I sempat tido again for another hour before hitting the showers. Haha.. ngantok sgt weih!.

Our Sydney trip started with Paddy Market, somewhere near China Street. Dekat sini is where you find good bargain souvenirs. And i tell u.. they really are good bargains. The place is like a cross between Pasar Seni & a warehouse. There are all kinds of souvenir stalls, clothes, accesories, fruit and vegetable stalls. on the upper floors are factory outlet stores as well as foodcourts.

Ok.. talking about reasonable... it freaking is! Don't try converting it into ringgit, or u'll probably try to attempt comitting suicide over Sydney Harbour Bridge. hahaha.. I spent $60 for souvy's and got 2 bagfulls of keychains, magnets, clip ons, car signs and what nots. Pretty good aye?? (Kiwi slang dtg balik woo kat sini.. hahahhaa!!)

We had lunch in Paddy market. I ate Chicken kebab and this probably is the 1sy time I couldn't finish the whole thing. It's all gotta do with my loya tekak thing-a-ma-jig.

Later on we went to Circular Quay. Where we could see the harbour bridge as well as Sydney Opera House. Alyaa pronounces it like 'Skilikee'... she said all her friends pronounce Circulary Quay that way. hahaha... a 10 minute brisk walk takes you to Sydney Opera House. Cantikla kan.. but it didn't had me gasping for air, like how Eiffel Tower had on me during my trip to Paris last year. That time around, I had to choke back on tears just at the sight of it. huhu.. I didn't go in the Opera House, so I just took pictures here and there and around the harbour.

We then took a ferry back to Darling Harbour, where our hotel is. Went back, took nature's calling, rested my feet for about 30 min and was out the door with dad to Harbour Side Shopping centre. it's a 2 storey shopping mall, like the size of Ampang Park, nestled nicely beside Darling Harbour. The view of Sydney CBD (central business district) and the harbour is breathtaking. Lights here n there and the reflection on the water.. ahh.. so nice! The shopping centre had a few of my favourite shops which I loved back in Welly including - Diva, Valley Girl and Cotton On. There were also a couple of souvenir shops, but the price of the souvenirs were double to that of those in Paddy Market and their the same thing!

After say... a few bangles, a blouse or two and leggings, I headed back to the hotel which is about 5 mins walk from the shopping centre. Had dinner and here i am now writing in this travel diary which will be turned into a blog once I get internet access (oh wait.. here I am now, typing back what I wrote. haha.. :P)

My feet's tired and I'm tired. Guess it's time for me to stop writing now. Till then.

Travel Blog Australia: Part 1

Ok... so here it goes. i'm gonna do a travel blog. since internet access is scarce here, or rather, i don't really have the time to go online, n because it's kinda costly, I would be blogging tonite, and most probably when I come back. And because they charge based on MB's used. i don't think i'll be able upload any pictures until i come back. So bear with me. huhu...

24th May:

Half way thru packing. Had dinner and a movie with Incik. Snuggling up to him is one of the best moments with him. I really hope things will be better for us once I come back. I appreciate our time together. Miss him already.

25th May:

99% finished with packing. My hearts not feeling so good. Please go away pain. I don't need this now. I wanna have fun in Australia! I don't wanna sulk, I wanna be happy!!

*Fire alarm bunyi td. almost all the guest went outside the room. False alarm*

26th May:

5.50a.m. - all set, bags are packed. Just waiting for the taxi to come and send us of to the airport. Still not feeling that good. Couldn't sleep.

2.30p.m. - Woke up about an hour ago, to the view of the clouds. Pure bliss. Kept reminding myself that things will be alright.

Slept for 3 hours. This is the 1st time I took a flight without watching a movie. Tried watching Tooth Fairy but slept after 20 min. Makcik sebelah ni - agak tua... nenek kot. Kesian rase kalau nk mintak excuse from her nk kluar from the toilet (I'm seating by the window) Tp td dh xtahan.. so mintak jela kan. Stretched my legs, gi tempat my parents duduk (our seats are spread all over. I'm in row 22, my parentsin row 30and my grandparents in row 26) Tgh dok borak2 dgn my parents, skali br prasan yg the nenek sbelah my seat ni dok berdiri tunggu I. maka kelam kabut la gi toilet and pergi duduk balik. Huhu. Bontot saya dh mula lenguh. Ada plak org yg baik hati, gi kentut. Either seat depan I or seat blakang i. Ya Rabbi... bau die!!! Dahla i mmg sedia loya tekak. Now lagi la..

Talking about loya tekak, I've been like this for the past 2 weeks. Asal makan je, rase nk muntah balik, cepat loya. NO, I am NOT pregnant. Jgn nk mcm2 eh. Haha~ I dunno la.. my friend says, maybe it's because of all the problems I'm facing now, plus I'm also having sleeping problems. Keep dreaming about weird stuffs, dreaming about him and all sorts, and waking up in the middle of the night. Maybe I'm thinking too much about the problems. I really need to loosen up. IT CAN BE DONE.

Oh... before I boarded the plane this morning, I tried calling him. To my luck, he picked up the phone. Though he was still sleeping. Well, yeah.. he was, but he terjaga at my phone call, which is seldom, because he's a heavy sleeper. So, I told him that I was already getting on the plane, said I loved him, he didn't hear it the 1st time, so I said it again and he replied I love you too back. That's good news, aye?

I'm thinking of taking things easy between us this time around. I do my thing, he does his, more freely, but ath then end of the line, there's still a knot tying us together. Hopefully this way, theyre'll be less miscommunications and disagreements and pushing around. It's like we're single but not single and not in an open relationship, because we're still together. We'll see how it goes along the way. Have 9 days to think about this thoroughly.

Listening to Paramore's 'Brand New Eye' album on the in-flight entertainment service. Getting stuck on this song: 'The Only Exception' and 'Brick by Boring Brick'.

Am 2 hours away from Sydney. Estimated time of arrival is 6.40pm local time, 4.40pm M'sian time. I'm 5000km's away from home. Hey, maybe I should take another flight back to Wellington. It's just another 3 hours away. haha.. I miss Welly!!! And I keep singing the Star Spangled Banner - US's National Anthem. Shows where I really wanna be. Ngee~

10.00p.m. - Finally arrived Sydney. In the apartment now. Cantik jugakla. i mean, good enough to sleep and rest. It's a duplex apartment, opposite Darling Harbour, called Oaks Goldsbrough Apartments. Had Indian food for dinner. Bought it at this Indian restaurant, behind our apartment. Okla the food, sekadar mengalas perut. huhu. I'm sleepy... very2 sleepy. Will be dozing of soon. Night one and day one down. Looking forward for day 2 tomorrow. Think positive thoughts. Think happy thoughts.

When you love someone.

For Incik.

It was mid December 2009. I was bored to death. Was laying around in the tv room in front of my lappy. My YM status stated "I'm bored". Then suddenly a YM window popped out. It was a guy, whom I noticed was in my list ever since I was in New Zealand, but never chatted too. Or I did, but I couldn't remember chatting with him. He said "Let's Yamchaa" So much of a first intro.. haha.. then like normal, we introduced each other... what we did, our interests, etc. etc. It was 2 days before I left for Jakarta. So there wasn't much to share.

I came back 5 days later, was checking my e-mails and suddenly saw him online. I clicked on his name and said "I'm back" and we chatted for hours about my trip and about his days.. It was like this for the next few days. On a particular Monday, I had to go to the hospital.. for my physiotherapy on my lower spine. He offered to accompany me at the hospital (and we only knew each other for 2 weeks by then). I said I was ok.. and didn't want him to get bored waiting for my 1 hour therapy session. Though I told him that I was going to the Curve later on, to book Red Box for my friend's bridal party. He said he wanted to meet me. I agreed.

I was in my pink Bebe pants, and black t-shirt.. muke xbermake-up and all, muke org sakit.. with the therapy and all. He was in his Hansen collared shirt and stained jeans. we promised to meet each other in Starbucks, but we bumped into each other a few shops before. I was nervous and trembling. (I was still feeling the chill from the hospital that time). We shook hands, n walked to Starbucks. Both of us ordered Java Chip frappucino. His treat.

We talked n talked.. for about 2 hours, until I told him, I had to go back. I went home, had dinner, turned on my lappy.. n there he was, online again. So we continued chatting till the wee of morning. We had a 2nd date on the 2nd of January. Right after my friends bridal party. We watched Cirque Du Freak:Vampire's Assistant. Was kinda weird at first watching a movie with him. But it was ok later. I remembered this one time, there was this kinda eerie part of the movie. I closed my eyes, and he took his hand and closed my eyes with it. Yeah, and he also pulled me towards him n gave a soft peck on my head. Then he hugged me. I know it was the wrong thing to do at that time, because it was just a 2nd date. But it felt SO right.

It was then I heard his heart beat. the soft thumping of his heart, made me fall for him instantly. I remembered shivering when I listen to that sound. It was one of the most beautiful sound that time. I wondered why. It's not like I've never heard other people's heart beat before. But his, calmed me beyond all means. It was on our 3rd date that he first kissed me. Damn.. was it good or what??? Hahaha... Words coould not express how I felt when he laid his lips on mine, while holding my chin. It was soft, warm... it was perfect.

Then came the day he expressed his feelings. It was a simple.. "I sayang you" in which I replied.. sayang yg mcm mane? (doink aku ni) Sayang as a friend? as a sister? or sayang-sayang? He said... "Sayang-sayang". That was one part of it. There was also the part, when we were together. Hugs n all... when out of no where, he pulled me close to him and said "I love you.. jangan tinggalkan I.. jgn cari org lain. I love you" I was stunned by all means... and I quietly answered back.. "I love you too" And I do.. I really do. I love him.

Many of my friends have said that they've never seen me happier and I do feel the same way too. All I do is blush like a little girl everytime I think of him.

The rest, as people say.. is history.. A history to be kept nicely in our hearts. It's been 6

months ever since.

I know people might say that 6 months is too short of a time to fall madly in love with someone. But to me. It isn't. Though we did have our ups n downs, our arguments of sorts. We're still on the rocks now as I type this. I don't know what's gonna happen for our future together. But I do know this, now... I love him.

Some people have critiqued on our relationship, because of our differences in age and education and what nots... but that hasn't stop us in building this relationship.

There's this book, The Secret.. most of you have heard about this book, right? Well.. it says to appreciate your partner, and look at the bright things in life and why your fell in love with that person in the first place. Write down a list of the things you appreciate about him. I did that... It's a long list.. and it's still going on. There are those on how I love how he steals kisses in the movies, or how he pulls me to give a hug in crowded places... how he makes funny faces to make me laugh, to the messages he gives me that makes me feel wanted.

All I can say is that I've never loved a person as much as I love him. Ok.. with the exception of my family n friends.. But as a partner, I love him. I would love him until the day the world ends if I could. I love him so much I'd want to spend the rest of my years with him. I'd take care of him and he'll take care of me. But I'm not sure if he feels the same. I don't mind what he feels. But this is how I feel. Even if we end up not getting married, or breaking up next week, I'll still love him. My feelings are that strong towards him, and I am not ashamed to say it.

Things are not going great between us now, and it hurts like hell. It's as if Freddy Kreuger just torned my heart into pieces. One day we give each other the world, the next day, we're not talking to each other at all. It's been like this for the past month. And honestly, I don't know what's going to happen. We're trying to mend the pieces and save this relationship. I hope all goes well. If it doesn't.. I'll still love him, but from a distance. I know I'll be strong... but in the mean time, I'm hurting like hell. I love him too much to let him go.. but sometimes I can't stand the pain it's causing me. I don't know. I can't think straight... All I know is that I just love him so much. Maybe too much. I don't know.

What I can say now to him is: Pick me, choose me, love me. And I will love you endlessly.

I love you.