Refer 2 posts below on my turning of 27 years and one month young, point number "5".
Now that my ex has propose, I'm contemplating on whether I should go back to him. We've been friends for almost 7 years now, and everytime one of us break up wit another person, after our own break up, we always end up being there for each other, comforting each other.
The lists goes on and on on our similarity and chemistry... and it made me think on whether he is THE one after all... he says I am his.. I dunno. Well... There's still time for me to think about it... we've given each other until next year to think things out properly.. plus I'm seeing and testing whether he can be THE ONE.
Let's see how it goes within a year, eh?
Till then.. toodles.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Crazy Beautiful
Just now on Oprah, she interviewed Jessica Simpson on the recent kiss n tell made by her ex, John Mayer (wat a Jerk!)... and how she was critisized about her weight.
Jessica Simpson is also doing a show.. called.. err.. xingat. hahaha~ (I was sleepy laaa). It's about how she n 2 of her friends, went around the world and found out how important beauty is for woman from different countries and how far they'll go through pain and $$$ for beauty. She interviewed an aneroxia model who went into a coma because she didn't ate due to the fact that her modelling agency required her to loose 10kg. Kesian tgk that lady... she looked pretty but scary at the same time... all skin n bones left. And then there were countries in which ladies drank cow urine to cleanse their body.. eeeuuuwwww... seriously.. what are they thinking???
Macam-macam la cara nk maintain beauty and to be beautiful.. billions n billions of dollars spent on cosmetics, operations, etc2... all because of the pressure of becoming beautiful.
Oprah and Jessica mentioned that, it's whats inside that counts.. the inner beauty which then reflects your outer beauty... that is Beautiful. If you think u're beautiful, and have a beautiful heart, even if u have only one eye... you're still beautiful, unique and most importantly, you're you.
Never let anyone say you're any lower, too fat or too skinny, too ugly or of those alike. It's you and what you think that counts. No other person's words matter.. not even your loved one. Once you feel confident, feel beautiful and believe you're beautiful.. it will reflect onto yourselves.
I'm proud to have what I have.. my looks.. everything. Ok.. I do need to slim down a bit, but it's more to becoming healthier and be easier to find clothes in petite Malaysia whom don't sell a lot of plus size stuff. Sheesh~ I aim being fit n healthy... not skinny.
On another similar note. Beautiful but shallow and ignorant people won't win in the end. Being beautiful on the inside, however, wins you more than anything.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
27 years old and One Month
Today I am 27 years and 1 month young. Hehe~
Through out the past one month, I went thru so many things.. It shows how much things can happen within a month.. and how things can change within an instant, and how we should appreciate each and every minute and hour and day, etc. This is what happened for the past month of turning 27:
Through out the past one month, I went thru so many things.. It shows how much things can happen within a month.. and how things can change within an instant, and how we should appreciate each and every minute and hour and day, etc. This is what happened for the past month of turning 27:
- Went to a best friend's wedding
- Had my Birthday celebration in 4 different restaurants by 4 different groups of people. ( I have such a wonderful family and friends!)
- Broke Up with my boyfriend of 6 months..
- Sulked and went thru an emotional breakdown for a week.
- Got a marriage proposal by my ex.
- Had a fever, cold and cough.
- Registered for Scuba Diving classes.
- Registered for my final semester of MBA.
- Made of a about 5 new friends.
- Went to a funeral of my former classmate/ friend.
- Had food poisoning.
- Went to Salsa for the 1st time.
- Help deliver 5 kittens.
- Found out my best friend is pregnant.
- Met the Queen, 2 times.
- Attended a private fashion show in one of Malaysia's richest man's residence.
Sheesh... that's approximately one event for every 2 days!! Huhu.. Well, as long as it keeps me sane and more experienced in life thus a better person.. I'm prepared to take on the world! Ngee~
Monday, June 28, 2010
Of Curtsies and Table Manners.
These recent years.. ever since I came back from New Zealand, Mom has been bringing me to functions here n there... with the idea of exposing me to people for good networking as well as potential mother in laws.. (yikes!) or simply introducing us to the extended members of the royal family.
I think it runs in the family.. because Mom n her sisters went thru the same thing when they were young... though only my aunt had an arranged marriaged, while mom n her younger sister wed to people whom they fell in love with.
The functions, that mom recently brought me to, consists of those that have the royal families as special guests. Requiring upmost good manners, flare and etiquette. Since mom still keeps her Royal traditions, she's been training me to speak the royal language and how to sembah the King and Queen and so forth.
The thing is, I wasn't thought these things since I was young. So it's a bit weird at first.
I remember one particular day, my mom babbling to me n my cousins of not using the 'Palace Language' amongst us. We answered by saying that, if the moms wanted us to use those language, they should have thought us since we were young. Using 'Patik' tu address ourselves, 'santap' - eat, 'beradu'-rest/sleep, etc. etc... now that most of us cousins are of 15 and over.. it's hard for us to learn something new. Though we've tried to in a few gatherings that had our great aunts n uncles.
Nevertheless, we're proud that, even though we are no longer the reigning family to the throne, that we managed to keep some of the Royal traditions in hand, when needed... Hopefully wel'll manage to teach our children some of the tata tertib and manners of the Royal family, so that it can be brought down to generations. May the heritage line of Sultan Abdullah remain strong in our bloods. InsyaAllah.
I think it runs in the family.. because Mom n her sisters went thru the same thing when they were young... though only my aunt had an arranged marriaged, while mom n her younger sister wed to people whom they fell in love with.
The functions, that mom recently brought me to, consists of those that have the royal families as special guests. Requiring upmost good manners, flare and etiquette. Since mom still keeps her Royal traditions, she's been training me to speak the royal language and how to sembah the King and Queen and so forth.
The thing is, I wasn't thought these things since I was young. So it's a bit weird at first.
I remember one particular day, my mom babbling to me n my cousins of not using the 'Palace Language' amongst us. We answered by saying that, if the moms wanted us to use those language, they should have thought us since we were young. Using 'Patik' tu address ourselves, 'santap' - eat, 'beradu'-rest/sleep, etc. etc... now that most of us cousins are of 15 and over.. it's hard for us to learn something new. Though we've tried to in a few gatherings that had our great aunts n uncles.
Nevertheless, we're proud that, even though we are no longer the reigning family to the throne, that we managed to keep some of the Royal traditions in hand, when needed... Hopefully wel'll manage to teach our children some of the tata tertib and manners of the Royal family, so that it can be brought down to generations. May the heritage line of Sultan Abdullah remain strong in our bloods. InsyaAllah.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Take One... Action!
The part he's acting in is out today.. eh, wait.. was yesterday.
Okla.. the acting. Garang! Huhu.. But it made me miss him more.
Tadi pergi The Curve, got hot chocolate from Starbucjs, passed the seat that the both of us sat at when we first met each other six months ago. Missed him more.
Even found videos of him strumming on the guitar with his friends, and playing on the keyboard on an old Sudirman song. Well, he told me about it a few days ago.. I didn't even knew it was there, until he asked me whether I added him on Youtube.. I was like.. "I didn't even know you had any videos's on youtube!" Except for the one's of the trailers..Sheesh~ so since he mentioned it, I decided to check it out. There it was.. in full view.. October 2006~Video's of him playing musical instruments. It made me shiver.. it made me miss him more.
All these things this week... why?? Why must these things come up when I miss him the most???
I miss his hug. I miss his hands... I miss everything about him. I'm not that sad anymore about the whole thing. I just miss him really badly.
These missing him thing has got to go away.. wait.. I don't want that. I do.. I don't... I don't know. Sigh~
Okla.. the acting. Garang! Huhu.. But it made me miss him more.
Tadi pergi The Curve, got hot chocolate from Starbucjs, passed the seat that the both of us sat at when we first met each other six months ago. Missed him more.
Even found videos of him strumming on the guitar with his friends, and playing on the keyboard on an old Sudirman song. Well, he told me about it a few days ago.. I didn't even knew it was there, until he asked me whether I added him on Youtube.. I was like.. "I didn't even know you had any videos's on youtube!" Except for the one's of the trailers..Sheesh~ so since he mentioned it, I decided to check it out. There it was.. in full view.. October 2006~Video's of him playing musical instruments. It made me shiver.. it made me miss him more.
All these things this week... why?? Why must these things come up when I miss him the most???
I miss his hug. I miss his hands... I miss everything about him. I'm not that sad anymore about the whole thing. I just miss him really badly.
These missing him thing has got to go away.. wait.. I don't want that. I do.. I don't... I don't know. Sigh~
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Us...
There was never anything wrong with us...
The problems we had were normal couple problems...
Those complicating stuff could've been avoided, could've be solved.
We had our normal misunderstandings and couple quarrels..
But on top of all that, we were there, caring for each other.
It was a relatioship that could work out if we wanted to..
A relationship that could be mended if we wanted to...
But now, here I am wondering, why we mutually agreed to go our separate ways...
When all I needed was you...
I don't know if you need me too...
But I'm deeply missing you, needing you here with me, in my arms, by my side.
It's been a week, and it's not any easier. Everything, everywhere, reminds me of you.
I miss you Mr. H. I love you.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
"Time For Miracles"
It's late at night and I can't sleep
Missing you just runs too deep
Oh I can't breathe thinking of your smile
Every kiss I can't forget
This aching heart ain't broken yet
Oh God I wish I could make you see
Cause I know this flame isn't dying
So nothing can stop me from trying
Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cause I ain't giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cause I ain't giving up on love
No I ain't giving up on us
I just want to be with you
Cuz living is so hard to do
When all I know is trapped inside your eyes
The future I cannot forget
This aching heart ain't broken yet
Oh God I wish I could make you see
Cuz I know this flame isn't dying
So nothing can stop me from trying
Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cause I ain't giving up on love
No I ain't giving up on us
Baby can you feel it (can you)
You know I can hear it (hear it in my soul)
So can you feel it feel it….
You know it's time….
Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on love
You know
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on love
No I ain't giving up on us
I ain't giving up no
Oh I ain't giving up on us
This is for you...
Signs...
Ignoring the signs.. though sometimes I wonder whether those signs mean something or anything. Do they?Not hoping.. just positive thoughts off my wellbeing.
I miss you. :(
Sunday, June 20, 2010
The E.N.D.
The End, meaning the end of a relationship.
The E.N.D (Energy Never Dies, according to Black Eyed Peas) meaning, that the respect and energy as friends, will never die.
Me n Incik have broken up. As much as it hurts, I know things will be alright in the end. I've been sulking for 2 days at home.. not wanting to get out of bed and out of my room. It's good that my parents understand it and just brings me down for lunch and dinner, and let me go back to my room.
Am I hurt? of course I am. But I knew that it this thing would've happen, with the turmoil we were having the past few months, which is why it wasn't a surprise to me when that dreadful day came. Though it deeply saddens me that we couldn't work things out anymore, and it deeply saddens me that I won't be able to love him or feel his love the same way again. But it is also good to know, that we've decided to still remain friends.
He has been the best boyfriend so far... and I appreciate all the time we've spent together, and I am grateful to been given the opportunity to meet him, be loved by him and so forth. It was a wonderful experience that I won't forget. I will still love him, even as a friend, even as a normal person.
It will take some time for me to properly heal.. but I know I'll get to that point soon, and be a better person from this experience.
On another note, to my friends.. I know some of you want to put all the blame of this break-up on him. But don't. For my sake, don't. When I agreed to let him go and go our separate ways, I also let go on all the anger I had... It was not his fault, and it wasn't mine. It was just not meant to be at this time. When I hear my friends saying bad things.. it doesn't make me feel better or stronger.. it just makes me feel worse. So out of respect for me, there is no need for my friends to diss him. What has passed, has passed, and I need to move on.
What the future holds for me, I have no idea. I'll make notes, I'll dream and I'll believe, but the rest, lays in the hand of God. I may find someone better, I may end up with Incik again, or one of my exes.. who knows. But whatever lies in the future for me, I'd greatly accept it with open arms.
The E.N.D (Energy Never Dies, according to Black Eyed Peas) meaning, that the respect and energy as friends, will never die.
Me n Incik have broken up. As much as it hurts, I know things will be alright in the end. I've been sulking for 2 days at home.. not wanting to get out of bed and out of my room. It's good that my parents understand it and just brings me down for lunch and dinner, and let me go back to my room.
Am I hurt? of course I am. But I knew that it this thing would've happen, with the turmoil we were having the past few months, which is why it wasn't a surprise to me when that dreadful day came. Though it deeply saddens me that we couldn't work things out anymore, and it deeply saddens me that I won't be able to love him or feel his love the same way again. But it is also good to know, that we've decided to still remain friends.
He has been the best boyfriend so far... and I appreciate all the time we've spent together, and I am grateful to been given the opportunity to meet him, be loved by him and so forth. It was a wonderful experience that I won't forget. I will still love him, even as a friend, even as a normal person.
It will take some time for me to properly heal.. but I know I'll get to that point soon, and be a better person from this experience.
On another note, to my friends.. I know some of you want to put all the blame of this break-up on him. But don't. For my sake, don't. When I agreed to let him go and go our separate ways, I also let go on all the anger I had... It was not his fault, and it wasn't mine. It was just not meant to be at this time. When I hear my friends saying bad things.. it doesn't make me feel better or stronger.. it just makes me feel worse. So out of respect for me, there is no need for my friends to diss him. What has passed, has passed, and I need to move on.
What the future holds for me, I have no idea. I'll make notes, I'll dream and I'll believe, but the rest, lays in the hand of God. I may find someone better, I may end up with Incik again, or one of my exes.. who knows. But whatever lies in the future for me, I'd greatly accept it with open arms.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Silence
The silence is kinda good... the distance is good too... maybe it will do us good. Let our minds get clearer n stuff. I don't feel an obligation at all...
Well..., as they sometimes say, being apart makes us stronger. So maybe this will too~
I still love you though... Always have, always will be. =)
Well..., as they sometimes say, being apart makes us stronger. So maybe this will too~
I still love you though... Always have, always will be. =)
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Ponder...
Not giving excuses to protect my love one.
People always get the idea that when I say things.. I make excuses for my love ones to treat me badly. It's not that. And I'm not settling for whatever there is... that's plain silly.
Of course I want better things from my partner. But I'm not pushing. I realise I don't like being pushed, so I won't want to push another person at that.
I just don't want to bother on the things that could make me feel down.
I prefer to look at the bright things in life and stop complaining and think positive.
If God has written that we are meant together, together will be, if we're not meant to be together.. together we won't be.
I'm turning a new leaf now and looking at the positive things and shoving all negative vibes aside. I'm looking at what made us where we are today and how we started to fall for each other in the 1st place. No, I am not in denial. I do not deny that there are things that made me unhappy. But If I continue sulking and complaining and pushing my other half to be better, those negative things won't just go away. So it's better to turn things around and react positively... InsyaAllah, the response from the other half would be much better. It has actually... there's a lot of improvement, ever since I started the whole positive manifestation thingy. And I believe that it will be alright in the end. Just need to hold on and be a bit more patient.
If it doesn't work out in the end, it won't be the end of the world for me. There are other things to explore, and I'm not afraid of being let down again.
This is how I feel... though I thank everyone for their comments. It does help me think. =)
People always get the idea that when I say things.. I make excuses for my love ones to treat me badly. It's not that. And I'm not settling for whatever there is... that's plain silly.
Of course I want better things from my partner. But I'm not pushing. I realise I don't like being pushed, so I won't want to push another person at that.
I just don't want to bother on the things that could make me feel down.
I prefer to look at the bright things in life and stop complaining and think positive.
If God has written that we are meant together, together will be, if we're not meant to be together.. together we won't be.
I'm turning a new leaf now and looking at the positive things and shoving all negative vibes aside. I'm looking at what made us where we are today and how we started to fall for each other in the 1st place. No, I am not in denial. I do not deny that there are things that made me unhappy. But If I continue sulking and complaining and pushing my other half to be better, those negative things won't just go away. So it's better to turn things around and react positively... InsyaAllah, the response from the other half would be much better. It has actually... there's a lot of improvement, ever since I started the whole positive manifestation thingy. And I believe that it will be alright in the end. Just need to hold on and be a bit more patient.
If it doesn't work out in the end, it won't be the end of the world for me. There are other things to explore, and I'm not afraid of being let down again.
This is how I feel... though I thank everyone for their comments. It does help me think. =)
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