The feeling is back...

That feeling has come back... I don't hate it.. But I'm not comfortable with it.. Coz it makes me quiete..

Here I am in my room at 2:30 in the morning... Can't sleep n blogging thru my phone. Been waiting for the phone to ring or beep.. but it hasn't.. Silly of me... I should sleep, but I can't help but keep thinking.. Thinking of this feeling of loneliness that has loom over me for the past 3 years or so..

I know what ppl say.. Just be patient, and the right guy will come your way.. Don't rush.. The thing is, there's nothing to even rush about because there's no one to rush on... I still haven't found that special someone who will capture my heart and fall head over heels for me.

It does feel lonely after what seems to be 2 yrs of single life.. In fact, to be honest, the last time I actually felt in love and being loved at by a guy was in 2005.. the final 2 yrs of my relationship with my ex was a turmoil... Not feeling appreciated n loved.. It was just merely hanging there because the both of us just won't let go.. Even though the love was deteriorating.. Maybe it was d ego that kept us going.

After that.. Here I am now... Guys I meet seem to be intimidated by me because of my education n my family background.. am i at fault of having a good education n a good family?? Why be intimidated?? some say they feel challenged by my background.. Hrmm.. Wonder when there'll be a guy who won't be intimidated and take the challenge as a gentleman wishing to fight it for my love... God.. Sounds so classic.. Haha..

The Secret book mentioned about listing the criteria of the guy I want in my life.. And if I focus on it.. Maybe the right guy will come my way soon.. So here it goes. (wish me luck!):

1. Loving
2. Responsible
3. Understanding
4. Tolerant
5. Smart (doesn't need to have a higher education, but just smart)
6. Stable
7. Good looking (doesn't mean handsome.. Just good looking will do.. Though handsome would be a plus)
8. At least 175cm's and above.
9. Able to guide me in religion as well as in life
10. Independent financialy
11. Independent on almost everything but wants me to be at his side to boost his spirits up.
12. Is head over heels in love with me and adores me.
13. A family guy
14. Loves kids
15. Loves animals
16. Funny
17. Appreciative of everything around him including n especially me.
18. Healthy and well built.
19. Has a nice set of teeth.
20. Respects people

I know this guy will come soon. I can feel it that he's not that far away.. I sense his presence, but I am yet to find out who he is. I love him already and I miss him... Dunno who.. But I have all this, waiting for him to come into my life.