Alhamdulillah...

Last Tuesday, I went online to check the results for my Masters in Business Admin application kat UiTM...

I GOT IN!!!

Student life starts in July.. terase nervous plak... tp x sbar nk shop for school stuff again... but dreading the 1st 2 subjects... Economics and Statistics... subject tu la yg I paling lemah... aiyoooo...

Takpe2.. usaha tangga kejayaan... aim for deans list!!! Ngehehehe...

:(

Still down with the fact that things won't be like it used to... everything has changed from that point onwards... lesser laughters n makin fun of each other and being around to comfort each other...

Sad and lonely...

A day at the Hospital...

Hospitals freak out a lot of people... Including me sometimes..

The smell of medicine and disinfectants linger simultaneously around the hospital, as soon as we step in...

One thing for sure, kalo I tgh anxious kat hospital.. I usually go to the maternity ward n look at babies... Then i okla.. Sbb tgk all the cute babies sleeping in their trolley bed... wraped with blankets... Usually pink for girls n blur for boys... Geram je tgk the babies kan... Hehe...

Hospital food... Bluekkhhh... X sedap!!! Owh but Damansara Specialist has one of the nicest cafeteria food... Nasi lemak die... Aiyooo... Sedap!!! Hahaha...

By d way, I'm at Tawakal Hospital now.. Visiting my Auntie Teh. She went thru some minimal surgery to remove n clean the dead skin cells on her leg. She has diabeties... So it infected her leg.. Plus.. my auntie ni x berpantang sgt.. So trok la gak sakit die tu...

Nenek pun ikut sama.. Mommy gi jumpe auntie's doctor to bincang about whether my auntie can go umrah or not this coming June. I'm here stuck in the hospital ward.. Looking after my auntie as well as nenek.. Hahaha...

Td her IV Tube tercabut in the toilet.. So the toilet penuh darah.. N because I xtahan nk tunggu the cleaner dtg.. N because bau darah tu pun xmenyenangkan... So I cuci the bathroom.. Nasib baik I can stand the sight of blood... Dah abih cuci, I dah rest semue.. Br the cleaner nk dtg. Sabar jela...

Till then...

Come and go...

I knew that something like this will eventually happen... it always happens... it's called a circle of life...

Friends... you are soooo close one day, and eventually at one point.. we make our own paths... we reduce the amount of time we communicate with each other, see each other and keep in touch with each other...

It usually happens when there's a start of a career or a relationship... all goes haywire... the promise of friends forever or being there for each other when one is in need, often fades away with time.

Often we see, and I myself experience.. and am experiencing, is that we expect the other person to initiate the 1st move, to ask how that other person is, to see that person. If that person doesn't make the 1st move, neither do we... and in the end, nobody initiate's anything. That's when the bond loosens up.

There are those, that because of the start of a new career or relationship, they are surrounded by influences that they somehow adapt to, that the other friends can't accept or relate to.. then there's the "You've changed" issue... and again, the bond loosens...

I am lucky that in some ways, I am independent and am used to things like this, of people coming and going, some taking years... some, even days... I don't sulk on it too much... A lot of emotional turmoil and the feeling of loneliness looms over you at 1st.. then it slowly fades away and you move on with your life, getting to know other people, making new acquaintances and friends and love.

However, those who stay from the very start, are those that we should keep close... those are the ones, that even when the bond is not as tight, somehow, someway, that person or that group of people are the ones who really support you and is there for you, silently if not soundly.

It's a way of life... it's a circle of live... of the survival through it all... of weighing good and bad, right and wrong, being strong or being weak... in the end, it is all up to ourselves in how we are to manage this circle... be it a perfect circle... or a distorted one...

Words of wise woman...

Nenek and Mommy's words on how a woman either married or not, should act, kept me thinking...

Wanita adelah Wanita... woman power is good... but only to a certain limit... because, anda Wanita... it is mentioned in the Quran...

We still need to respect those around us... and, take good care of ourselves, the way we talk, tingkah laku, pertururan, walau setinggi mana education kita, setinggi mana pangkat kita, kita tetap wanita, and kite kena jaga tingkah laku kita sebagai wanita, kalau nak dihormati sebagai wanita...

Doesn't mean we have to show we're weak... being iron ladies, powerful ladies... is good... so that people don't take us for granted... but at a certain point, it stops there... because we are what people call woman, we need to take one step back behind others.

Mungkin ramai yg x setuju dgn these things... but this is an opinion of those people i respect the mst... everyone has their different opinion... negative, positive... each idea, each thought, each word, needs to be treated with respect.

I will ponder on this... I have pondered on this a long time... I have taken the necessary steps, though I still think there are a lot of things I could improve on... A LOT!!!

Not again...

Malasnye nak layan bende2 mcm ni...

I nk ikut Cikgu Fathi AF ckp:

"We're human beings, it's ok to breakdown and cry, but the next day, you got to pick up yourself and go"