Sinfulicious

Chocolate Truffles for supper. And I wonder to myself how I got fat... Sheesh!!!

Hurmm..

Mase gi doctor last Thursday kat DSH, I told him the pain in my back still ade.. tp dah kurang sgt2 compared to mase mule2 dulu..

And... he added 4 more physiotherapies for me to go to starting from Monday up to Thursday, and a check up again with him on Thursday. Beginning to think something's wrong.. but positive thoughts!!!

He said, kalo tak elok jugak, die nk refer me to a nerve specialist... but again, he's pushing away the idea that it's a slip disc.. because he said I can still move and gerak2 my body like normal.

Bosan tul physiotherapy.. 1 hour of exercise, laser treatments, ultrasound and icepacks.. bosan2.. haihhh.. wattodooo...

Wish me luck!!!

Poison & Cure

Food poisoning.. that's what I got in Indonesia.. according to my doctor, at least 1 out of 3 people get food poisoning when they come back from Indonesia, either a minor or major one.. mine was considerably major.

Let's see.. 4 days of purging and diaorrhea (I still can't figure out how to spell this word), a day of vomiting, 2 days of nauseating.. yepp... nice holiday.. let's also not forget the thing that happen at the airport on the day we left for Jakarta..

Our passports weren't excepted, because there's a ruling that says.. 6 months prior to expiry, the holder must renew their passport and can't travel anywhere.. Kalau dah mcm tu punye ruling.. they should have wrote it terang2 on the ticket and in the passport laa!!! Ini tak.. a fine size 5 print in bold that they expect EVERYONE to read... sheesh!!! so we had to cancel our 1.30pm flight, run to Putrajaya, renew our passports (apparently they have a special case booth for people like us.. and it took under an hour to renew), run back to KLIA.. just to find out that the nxt available flight on MAS is full. Andddddd... MAS yg tetibe bodoh out of nowhere, pergi cancel our ticket back from Jakarta to KL too... kununnye its auto-cancel.. WTF??? and they didn't even ask us whether we want to cancel it.. again dgn alasan auto-cancel derang. Si nak xnak.. dgn berat hatinya.. we took Air Asia instead, had to pay tons of money for the new tickets.. and as usual.. a flight delay for 1 hour mase nak pegi Jakarta and a delay of FOUR effin' hours mase n balik KL... dahla sakit perot, food poisoning.. lg nk delay2.. I think the toilet in Soekarno-Hatta became my best friend, because I visited it for like 8 times within the 4 hour delay...

Haihh.. what a trip... good thing was.. I got lots of thing that I wanted to buy.. not for myself.. but for my lil' business.. Dah jd makcik kain dah I skrg.. ngehehe... For myself, ade la about 4 helai baju.. hahahaha!!

Anyways.. miss home n glad I'm home... santikkkkjer Mesia... hihi..

Home...

A million faces,
Thousands of Smiles...
Yet I still miss home..
I wanna go home..

Woittt... Baru 3 hari kat Jakarta & now Bandung.. and I miss KL like mad.. nk roti canaaaiiii!!! isk isk...

Despite the heavenly shopping kat sini n stuff... sigh.. home, sweet sugary home.. How I miss thee~

Happy

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose you cant have everything
Dont you take chances you might feel the pain
Dont you love in vain, cause love won't set you free
I could stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy, but safe as could be


So what if it hurts me, so what if I break down
so what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place, I wanna hear my sound
Dont care about other pain in front of me
cos im just trying to be happy
Just wanna be happy

Holding on tightly just cant let it go
Just tryna play my roll, slowly disappear, ooh
Well all these tears they feel like theyre the same
Just different faces, different names
Get me outta here
Well i can stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
Pass me by

So what if it hurts me, so what if I break down
so what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place, I wanna hear my sound
Dont care about other pain in front of me
cos I'm just trying to be happy

So any turns that i cant see
I'll count a stranger on this road
But don't save it down, don't say anythng


So what if it hurts me, so what if I break down
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place, I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about other pain in front of me
I just wanna be happy...

Courtesy of Leona Lewis's Happy

What is it?

4 years of single life... no real relationship.. only flings that didn't worked out.. even that with my ex was not considered a real one, because of our long distance relationship that was on the verge of breaking for the most of our 2 1/2 year relationship.

Single life.. people say enjoy it.. but when it is THIS long of a period.. there's nothing much to enjoy. There's only loneliness and emptiness...

I have had my taste of men who take me for granted.. I tell you.. at first, they looked ok.. then they start to show signs of being a control freak, within less of 3 months of befriending each other. Then I have those who end up not quite interested with women... if u know what I mean.

Then there are those jerks, whom some use me for money... just into 1-2 weeks or months of knowing each other, then they asks for handphone top-ups and even to lend some money. There are those who go to the extreme and ask for sexual favours... eeeuuuwwwww... and there even those whom get close to me, because they want me to introduce them to my friends.. that hurts.. big time!!!

Sometimes I wonder what the matter it is with me. To say I'm chubby and fat.. I know people even bigger sized than me who are already in a relationship.. some even married. To say I'm ugly.. I'm not.. I say I'm pretty to be honest... To say I'm a tom boy.. I used to.. now I'm all prim n proper. To sayh I'm high maintenance.. I don't go crazy over designer items and luxury items like other girls do.. whom in fact still get to get hold of a relationship. To say I'm childish.. I'm not. So what is it in me that there has not been a decent man that wants to be with me for me n to love me.

I'm confused, upset, lonely... Yes, I do hahe friends and family.. but it's not the same. Especially when I have almost everyone around me either deeply in love, married or to the least, being courted in some ways.. I try to keep a positive mind, but sadness lingers when I see everyone around me being loved.. and it saddens me more when people ask me when I'm getting married... do I have a boyfriend.. and when I say no.. they give this confused expression of to why I'm still single and asks me tons of questions... Excuse me people, but i question myself on that too you know...

I think I'm starting to bore my friends out when I whine about being single... But I've tried almost everything in the book.. from thinking positive, to opening up to loving myself in order to project a loving aura... to flirting.. what else??

Mandi bunga maybe??? Sigh.. I dunno... I'm blunt... can't think of anything else anymore.


***Sad + Lonely = Pathetic***

When I'm lazy..

When my mom says I'm a lazy bum.. I really turn to be one... dok kat umah, dok mengadap internet, tv and tido.. that's all I do..

Nk kuar shopping, duit ada but then gotta save for the Jakarta/Bandung trip nxt week.. so can't go shopping here, when I'm actually dying to do so.. I really2 want to go to Pavillion... seriously I do!! But on weekdays, everyone's working.. and my weekend is occupied up to when classes starts again. Bosan giler!!!

I need a spa.. a relaxing spa.. not that I'm not relaxed enough now.. haha. I need to use up my camera, go to the Bird Park or FRIM or sumthing n take pictures of all sorts of stuff..

Bosan, bosan & BOSAN!!!