Teh Botol ku...

Teh Botol dah tinggal satu kotak je!!

Tidaaaakkkkk!!!!!!!

Someone please buy me some more... pleaaaaasssseeeee!!!!

Isk Isk....

Lalalala...

Harini mcm Happy..

Despite being busy sampai x sempat nk ShiShi at work... I manage to feel great.
Tak tau nape.. but yeah.. rase floaty2.. owh, n high at some points.. hahahahahaa..

Lalalalalala!!!...

Heh..

Yes... I'm still hurting...

As much as I want to hide it and deny it, it's a fact...
I want and need to heal slowly.. nothing to drastic.. drastic changes might make me end up much much more vurnerable...

All I can say now, is that, Thank God that I've been through similar situations before... so the impact and the cut isn't tooo deep. But yeah, it still hurts though..

Smile...

As days go by, and sorrow seems to cloud our heads... there is nothing else to do but smile... and hope that the sorrow be swept away by the wind...

What I'm exactly doing now... Smile..

Smile... originally wrote by the famous comedian of all times, Charlie Chaplin, sung over again, by Michael Jackson...

Words from the great Nelson Mandela...

Finally, I had some time to jot down a few clever words from Nelson Mandela...

Here's his secret to leadership...

The secrets of leadership – 8 lessons from one of the history’s icon.

1. Courage is not the absence of fear- it’s inspiring others to move beyond it.

2. Lead from the front-but don’t leave your base behind

3. Lead from the back- and let others believe they are in front.

4. Know your enemy-and learn about his favourite sport.

5. Keep your friends close-and rivals even closer.

6. Appearances matter-and remember to smile

7. Nothing is black or white

8. Quitting is leading too.

And another quote from him:

"Life is never either/or. Decisions are complex and there are always competing factors. To look for simple explanations is the bias of the human brain, but it doesn’t correspond to reality. Nothing is ever as straightforward as it appears. "

What I want to say...

Honestly??

Yes... I feel taken for granted of, feel left out and sometimes neglected.

But I'm used to be treated this way... I'm used to be put up on a pedestal one day, and down to the floor the other...

Neigh, I won't let it bring me down anymore, for I deserve better... I deserve being treated as a person who has feelings and who isn't ignorant of what is happening aroung me.

Someone has cross the line into what makes sense and what doesn't. This is not the first time someone has done this to me.. and I don't like it at all... I hate it!!!

But I will be kind enough not to say things upfront... it's enough that I let my feelings out here. Hopefully they'll be clever enough to find out.

But seriously... x terase ignorant ke? One day.. ladida ladida.... you treat that person sooooooooo nice.. or how should I put it.. 'comfy'? Then now... it's like there's a wall... an invisible wall, and the exact same words and the exact same ways are used to be said to other new people. Funny I should say, to see it going on, smack infront of my face.. and for everyone else to notice as well...

Well I'll be damn... I have feelings too... thank you very much... I'm not asking to be noticed, I'm not asking to focus on just me, and never someone else... All I'm asking that you consider that I have a feeling... and it's hurting. Though there's no sensuous feeling... but the feeling of a friend once soooo close and shares every single detail, suddenly loosing sight, seriously hurts.

There.. I've said my part...

Pasta Rama..

I cooked Fettucini Olio Aglio for dinner tonite. Dah lame x buat... best2.. tapi cam keras... or is it because of my braces.. hahaha..

Owh, and grilled fish fingers gak. Not the same with Pam's.. but oklaa...

Work was not tiring, but not fun.. boring.. sunyi sepi.. but no problems. Harini 2 org je kat Premier Banking. Lg 2 org on leave...

I read Time's magazine while waiting to go back.. and the article was about Nelson Mandela, the famous former South African leader. He talked about leadership and the 8 ways of being a leader. Didn't quite remember what the 8 thing were, but I'll copy 'em down and right it in here tomorrow, if I don't forget. Of course, Mandela's words and advice are very good and inspiring to a lot of ppl...

Owh.. my head is heavy.. I'm too sleepy to write anything more. Till tomorrow...

Senyum Indah...

Aku terkenang dikau
Dikau rindu
Di saat kau melihat
tersentuh kalbu
Memabawa aku semalam dulu
Kita bertemu aku dengan mu

Kau... Senyum Indah...
Tertarik jjiwaku buatku rasa rindu
Kerana Ku tahu
Yang kau akan menjadi
Milikku...

Mata bertemu mata
Aku terpaku
Siapa dirimu seindah ratu




Hihihihi... sape laaa n bila laaa ade orang nak bagi lagu camni kat I, huh? This song, or Chantek or The Way You Look Tonite... kalo ade laa.. mesti i cair... maybe one sweet day... if not, I give it to myself.. hahahaha!!

Fortune Cookie...

I got a fortune cookie from my Auntie, Mariana's wedding... this is what mine said


" The force is strong with this one"


The question is... which one??? What one???.... Orang ke, kerja ke, apeke??

Hiking n Fick's Bday!!

Harini we went hiking at FRIM ngan Ellie, Syaz, Fick & Amri.. had lotsa fun.. though banyak stop, sebab penat naik bukit.. I laa... penat oo.. dah lame x hiking.. semput kejap.. wahhaahhaa...

Then gi celup2 kaki kat the waterfall and makan nasi lemak.. best2!!! We spent about 4 hours there.. Owhh.. then my favourite part, though scary giler, was the canopy walk.. naik the hanging bridge yg serius tinggi gile n kecik jer.. but all was fun.

Went back home to rest then mandi2.. Fick n Amri siap sempat tido lagi... hahahaha.. then Schatz came with Tascha, and we went to see Dark Knight kat GSC One Utama. The movie was great!! Though sakit telinga because of the sound effect.. tp serious best...

But the former actors who act as Batman had kissable lips, and Christian Bale punye lips nipis je.. Wahahaha.. ade ke compare lips derang. The late Heath Ledger's acting as the Joker was great.. sgt2 psycho ok!!

Later after the movie, we went to celebrate Fick's Belated Bday at TGI Friday's.. semue pun terkejut tgk food byk sgt... we ordered a set meal, consisting of Appetizer, Entree and Dessert. Tak tau portion die soooo big.. masing2 packed our food balik.. x larat nk habiskan.

Then the TGI's waiter's came and brought a cake for Fick, and Fick had to stand on the sofa and give a speech, and blow the candle from the table, cake plak jauh.. sampai tempias air liur Fick... eeewww... hahahahaha :P

Was a good day la... penat though, but fun!! Owh.. Happy Belated B'day again Fick!!!

Anyway, here's somemore of the picture's for your viewing pleasure...

Hiking n Fick's Bday!!

Work!!

Harini keje mmg stress...

Pepagi dah kene marah ngan customer... but I admit... part of it was my fault..

But the good thing was, my supervisor was nice enough to keep on assuring me then we're normal humab beings who make mistakes and that I wasn't the only one to be blamed about this..

Then she went out to see a customer.. ok lg.. then sorang2 yg lain pun kuar.. tinggal I sorang.. n customers derang masuk.. mintak itu ini, I dunno anything... then kene bebel lg ngan customer. Kelam kabut I sesorang.. call the other managers.. tanye what's up with their customer.. itu ini... terase kebabian melanda... and I couldn't eat lunch until after 2pm.. sbb derang semue xde kat office...

Haihhh.. tensi2... teros pening kpale pastu... but after lunch, had a 20 minute nap kat pantry room, then was ok after that.

Had dinner with me girls, Mimah, Zeryn, Farah, Azleen owh.. n baby Rayyan... crite2 pasal work masing2.. pasal kawen.... ehem2... pade org2 yg nak kawen tu.. cepat2 laaa... Hihihihi..

Baby Rayyan makin comey.. A lot of things to catch up.. tp x sempat.. maybe one day, kene lepak lame2 lg.. so that kene bleh crite everything...

Bile orang kawen...

The common question when we single people go to weddings:

"Bile plak your turn??"

"Dah ade calon??"

"Takkan takde lagi kot..."

"Dah ade bf lom??"

"Ko kawen nanti.. jgn lupe jemput kitorg.. jgn nk nyombong plakkk"


My common answer:

"Blum jumpe jodoh/Haven't found THE one"

"Tunggu la.. lg few years time.."

"Boyfriend ade... 10 org.. skrg tgh pening kpale, mane satu nk buat suami"

"Tadak duit lagiiii..."

"Hahahahahaha.... typical question laaa!!"

"Ko pun same... kawen jgn lupe ajak... ko tu yg dah ade partner.. aku single lagi.. muahahahaha!!"


Anyway, congratulations to the newly weds, Fareen & Hassan.. also not forgetting the 2 week old married couple, Auntie Edah and Uncle Zahmar.. congrats on both couple's wedding.. and Thank You for having me to be in a part of your glorious day.

For my wonderful friends..

And I never thought I'd feel this way
And as far as I'm concerned
I'm glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe I love you

And if I should ever go away
Well just close your eyes and try
To feel the way we do today
And then if you can remember...
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times, and bad times
I'll be on your side forevermore
That's what friends are for
Well you came and opened me
And now there's so much more I see
And so by the way I thank you...

And then for the times when we're apart
Well then close your eyes and know
These words are coming from my heart

By Stevie Wonder

Love... again... the whole enchilada... yikes!!!

To fall out of love and to fall in love back again... then to fall, then in love.. wahhahaha.. this is complicated...

Is it logic to give a hypothetically 3rd chance to a person? Or should we just move on and let it be..

Hrmmm... the feelings are like hurricane Katrina in my tummy...

Hence, there is also someone else that I'd rather be with, but doesn't look interested.. well, at 1st he looked interested, then, suddenly woooosshhh.. eh, mana pi??? Getting blurry, and blurry.. are we meant to be friends or more than that? I will never know..

But then there is this person, that no matter how hard I try to let go, the sense of comfort is still there. The sense of safety and the sense of softness, won't go away. But he is wrong in all sense, unless proven otherwise, though for him to prove, will be doubtfull...

Owh.. another guy comes in mind... a guy that could be another one that is very much of what I search for... to be appreciated, to be taken care of, to be pampered... he has all that criteria, plus the fact that he's a complete gentleman... again the question of whether he is meant to be just friends or more than that remains..

So... the question is... to go to someone who we love, or someone who loves us???

Jodoh... I hope I find mine soon... not being desperate... err.. not that much desperate, but feeling needed and loved.

Torn between what is right and what is wrong, torn between letting everything go and having everything intact. Torn between my heart and my mind.

It is hard to NOT think about it. It's getting real difficult... especially at times when you need someone to be around for you.

P/S: I love you... who?? I dunno.. jd cam Ellie... ade Mr. ermm... wait, it's not Mr, Anonymous.. those guys are physically there... just that... is it them I'm actually looking for?? Hmmmm...

Espressoholicimissyou...

Was making Coffee for Mr. Lim, using the ever so canggih coffee machine.. when a wisp of the smell of the coffee, went thru me...

CLICK! My mind goes rewind.. full force.. the smell of coffee at Espressoholic... Owh how I miss that place... the hot choc may not be that good, when comparing it to that of starbucks coffee.. but the place itself is so comfy to us all..

NOW

I want the answer... NOW!!!

Stop giving clues and guesses and hints and suddenly going all silent and distant... it'll be forever hanging if things aren't settled at an early stage.. and things might get worse..

The feelings are there and true... it's just stuck until there's a green light to say go. How long more?? Will never know... maybe the red light will never change...

This road leads to 'the' way, but if the road is block by a never ending red light, then it's ok.. a U-turn is just in front, and there are other roads waiting to be explored.

Just don't let the yellow light be on for too long, coz there could be a possible giving up, and thus again, different roads will be searched for, and 'that' road abandoned.

So please.. the answer, NOW!!!

The Have and to Hold...

To have someone to hold.. to feel the comfort when you feel safe in their arms.

To listen to a voice that gives you comfort, when you're mad, sad and even down.

To have those pair of eyes to look at, that shows how much you are loved and cared for.

To have a laughter to laugh with at even the slightest joke or even the little happy moments.

To have someone to talk to through your daily doings, and listening stories of what they do everyday..

To have someone to miss when you don't see them, to feel the emptiness, and then the up-most joy when that person is in front of you.

To have someone to walk hand in hand, through crowds of people or in the park, underneath the stars... where no matter how many people there are in that place, it feels like there's only the two of you walking, talking about things we love.

To have a face that you could touch, to brace the cheeks, the hair, and the small light kiss on the forehead.

To have the warmth of the hand, the hug and the embrace.. giving you the sense of love and security.

To call that someones name or the special nickname you gave them, having the sense of how much you care for them.

To say 'I love You' or 'I Miss You'.. and really, really mean it for that special someone.

To love and be love in return.



To me to have all that, will be one of the happiest moments in my life... Because, I haven't felt that in so many years, and yes, I miss those moments and I long for the day that moment comes again.

Braces and pelikness..

Today I start wearing braces.. tak rase sakit pun.. or belum lagi la.. huhuhuhu... here's a picture of how the new braces looks like.. but attention, these are not my teeth yee... hahaahhah!! buruk kan rupe?? well, hopefully the results will become pretty laaa..

Anyway, just a word of thought..

"Saya pelik... pelik dengan perangai manusia yang berbagai-bagai... seperti hypocrite pada diri sendiri dan ada juga yang suka buat benda dgn alasan yang tak logic... saya pelik"

Enough is enough, I would not like to hear any more lame excuses, nor do I want to give excuses to people, so that I make myself feel good. That isn't gonna happen now. I've had enough of that.. and I am going to get something better out of all of this. Too many losses I have taken, it's time for me to win this time... Let's get this straight, if it's a game that everyone is trying to play, then let the game begin, but bear in mind, I'll be very competitive, coz I want the grand prize...!!!