For Incik.
It was mid December 2009. I was bored to death. Was laying around in the tv room in front of my lappy. My YM status stated "I'm bored". Then suddenly a YM window popped out. It was a guy, whom I noticed was in my list ever since I was in New Zealand, but never chatted too. Or I did, but I couldn't remember chatting with him. He said "Let's Yamchaa" So much of a first intro.. haha.. then like normal, we introduced each other... what we did, our interests, etc. etc. It was 2 days before I left for Jakarta. So there wasn't much to share.
I came back 5 days later, was checking my e-mails and suddenly saw him online. I clicked on his name and said "I'm back" and we chatted for hours about my trip and about his days.. It was like this for the next few days. On a particular Monday, I had to go to the hospital.. for my physiotherapy on my lower spine. He offered to accompany me at the hospital (and we only knew each other for 2 weeks by then). I said I was ok.. and didn't want him to get bored waiting for my 1 hour therapy session. Though I told him that I was going to the Curve later on, to book Red Box for my friend's bridal party. He said he wanted to meet me. I agreed.
I was in my pink Bebe pants, and black t-shirt.. muke xbermake-up and all, muke org sakit.. with the therapy and all. He was in his Hansen collared shirt and stained jeans. we promised to meet each other in Starbucks, but we bumped into each other a few shops before. I was nervous and trembling. (I was still feeling the chill from the hospital that time). We shook hands, n walked to Starbucks. Both of us ordered Java Chip frappucino. His treat.
We talked n talked.. for about 2 hours, until I told him, I had to go back. I went home, had dinner, turned on my lappy.. n there he was, online again. So we continued chatting till the wee of morning. We had a 2nd date on the 2nd of January. Right after my friends bridal party. We watched Cirque Du Freak:Vampire's Assistant. Was kinda weird at first watching a movie with him. But it was ok later. I remembered this one time, there was this kinda eerie part of the movie. I closed my eyes, and he took his hand and closed my eyes with it. Yeah, and he also pulled me towards him n gave a soft peck on my head. Then he hugged me. I know it was the wrong thing to do at that time, because it was just a 2nd date. But it felt SO right.
It was then I heard his heart beat. the soft thumping of his heart, made me fall for him instantly. I remembered shivering when I listen to that sound. It was one of the most beautiful sound that time. I wondered why. It's not like I've never heard other people's heart beat before. But his, calmed me beyond all means. It was on our 3rd date that he first kissed me. Damn.. was it good or what??? Hahaha... Words coould not express how I felt when he laid his lips on mine, while holding my chin. It was soft, warm... it was perfect.
It was mid December 2009. I was bored to death. Was laying around in the tv room in front of my lappy. My YM status stated "I'm bored". Then suddenly a YM window popped out. It was a guy, whom I noticed was in my list ever since I was in New Zealand, but never chatted too. Or I did, but I couldn't remember chatting with him. He said "Let's Yamchaa" So much of a first intro.. haha.. then like normal, we introduced each other... what we did, our interests, etc. etc. It was 2 days before I left for Jakarta. So there wasn't much to share.
I came back 5 days later, was checking my e-mails and suddenly saw him online. I clicked on his name and said "I'm back" and we chatted for hours about my trip and about his days.. It was like this for the next few days. On a particular Monday, I had to go to the hospital.. for my physiotherapy on my lower spine. He offered to accompany me at the hospital (and we only knew each other for 2 weeks by then). I said I was ok.. and didn't want him to get bored waiting for my 1 hour therapy session. Though I told him that I was going to the Curve later on, to book Red Box for my friend's bridal party. He said he wanted to meet me. I agreed.
I was in my pink Bebe pants, and black t-shirt.. muke xbermake-up and all, muke org sakit.. with the therapy and all. He was in his Hansen collared shirt and stained jeans. we promised to meet each other in Starbucks, but we bumped into each other a few shops before. I was nervous and trembling. (I was still feeling the chill from the hospital that time). We shook hands, n walked to Starbucks. Both of us ordered Java Chip frappucino. His treat.
We talked n talked.. for about 2 hours, until I told him, I had to go back. I went home, had dinner, turned on my lappy.. n there he was, online again. So we continued chatting till the wee of morning. We had a 2nd date on the 2nd of January. Right after my friends bridal party. We watched Cirque Du Freak:Vampire's Assistant. Was kinda weird at first watching a movie with him. But it was ok later. I remembered this one time, there was this kinda eerie part of the movie. I closed my eyes, and he took his hand and closed my eyes with it. Yeah, and he also pulled me towards him n gave a soft peck on my head. Then he hugged me. I know it was the wrong thing to do at that time, because it was just a 2nd date. But it felt SO right.
It was then I heard his heart beat. the soft thumping of his heart, made me fall for him instantly. I remembered shivering when I listen to that sound. It was one of the most beautiful sound that time. I wondered why. It's not like I've never heard other people's heart beat before. But his, calmed me beyond all means. It was on our 3rd date that he first kissed me. Damn.. was it good or what??? Hahaha... Words coould not express how I felt when he laid his lips on mine, while holding my chin. It was soft, warm... it was perfect.
Then came the day he expressed his feelings. It was a simple.. "I sayang you" in which I replied.. sayang yg mcm mane? (doink aku ni) Sayang as a friend? as a sister? or sayang-sayang? He said... "Sayang-sayang". That was one part of it. There was also the part, when we were together. Hugs n all... when out of no where, he pulled me close to him and said "I love you.. jangan tinggalkan I.. jgn cari org lain. I love you" I was stunned by all means... and I quietly answered back.. "I love you too" And I do.. I really do. I love him.
Many of my friends have said that they've never seen me happier and I do feel the same way too. All I do is blush like a little girl everytime I think of him.
The rest, as people say.. is history.. A history to be kept nicely in our hearts. It's been 6
months ever since.
I know people might say that 6 months is too short of a time to fall madly in love with someone. But to me. It isn't. Though we did have our ups n downs, our arguments of sorts. We're still on the rocks now as I type this. I don't know what's gonna happen for our future together. But I do know this, now... I love him.
I know people might say that 6 months is too short of a time to fall madly in love with someone. But to me. It isn't. Though we did have our ups n downs, our arguments of sorts. We're still on the rocks now as I type this. I don't know what's gonna happen for our future together. But I do know this, now... I love him.
Some people have critiqued on our relationship, because of our differences in age and education and what nots... but that hasn't stop us in building this relationship.
There's this book, The Secret.. most of you have heard about this book, right? Well.. it says to appreciate your partner, and look at the bright things in life and why your fell in love with that person in the first place. Write down a list of the things you appreciate about him. I did that... It's a long list.. and it's still going on. There are those on how I love how he steals kisses in the movies, or how he pulls me to give a hug in crowded places... how he makes funny faces to make me laugh, to the messages he gives me that makes me feel wanted.
All I can say is that I've never loved a person as much as I love him. Ok.. with the exception of my family n friends.. But as a partner, I love him. I would love him until the day the world ends if I could. I love him so much I'd want to spend the rest of my years with him. I'd take care of him and he'll take care of me. But I'm not sure if he feels the same. I don't mind what he feels. But this is how I feel. Even if we end up not getting married, or breaking up next week, I'll still love him. My feelings are that strong towards him, and I am not ashamed to say it.
Things are not going great between us now, and it hurts like hell. It's as if Freddy Kreuger just torned my heart into pieces. One day we give each other the world, the next day, we're not talking to each other at all. It's been like this for the past month. And honestly, I don't know what's going to happen. We're trying to mend the pieces and save this relationship. I hope all goes well. If it doesn't.. I'll still love him, but from a distance. I know I'll be strong... but in the mean time, I'm hurting like hell. I love him too much to let him go.. but sometimes I can't stand the pain it's causing me. I don't know. I can't think straight... All I know is that I just love him so much. Maybe too much. I don't know.
What I can say now to him is: Pick me, choose me, love me. And I will love you endlessly.
I love you.
No comments:
Post a Comment